God Plants Are Cool

They look like one of the downsides of emerging from an egg fully formed is how aware you are off just having come out on egg. First minute alive, already dealing with some fucking experience.

Lookin cool

just saw the funniest thing on twitter where someone was broken up with bc they ate 7 croissants im CRYINGGGG

Ahh, it’s back

I should quit my job to pursue a life of meaningless violence

recently when im tempted to say 'i'm gonna kill myself' i try to correct it into saying "im gonna walk into the river and become a trout" or some other form of that. this is my new thing

btw this has graduated into me just saying "the trout population will be affected" and then not elaborating

How much water did you ADD?!?

food is always being recalled these days but at least it's also expensive

don't let being born a girl stop you from being the man your father never was

That’s the face you make when you’re the product of a democratic socialist utopian culture where the very concept of currency no longer exists and they’re still somehow not paying you enough to deal with this shite.