God Plants Are Cool

taught my little brother to replace "im gonna kill myself" with "im killing a hostage" and it was a success #oldestsiblingwisdom

defunctland episode released immediately upon your death chronicling all failed career paths and relationships and somehow michael eisner is still at fault

all i need is a sweet treat. and six thousand dollars

kid in the library just said "a VILLAIN who lives in the MOON is after us" so keep an eye out for that today guys

Migraine sufferers will be like "it's not like I'm disabled or anything, it's just that if I do any of these normal everyday things other people do all the time, my head explodes. But I'm fine honestly, as long as I avoid doing anything ever and my environment and the weather never changes, then my head explodes a little less"

there's an anime everyone's into right now and it must be really confusing because everyone in the tags keeps going "wha?" it's okay gang you'll figure it out.

The absolute contempt for these locks is palpable.

One thing I appreciate about my cat son is that if he, who knows how it feels to be trapped in a room, so much as begins to suspect that I, his father, am trapped in a room, then he will immediately do everything in his meager power to rescue me

im going to explode in the kiln