desmodus rotundus

affirmations they will not kill me at work today. it is not in my job description to get killed. if they did kill me at work that would be weird and probably not worth it for them

what are people's favorite niche ice cream flavors. mine are superman and blue moon (specifically from the midwest like michigan/indiana/wisconsin), van leeuwen's royal wedding cake, and jeni's wildberry lavender

I Defeated the Demon Lord but it Turns Out the Demon Army was Largely Unaffected and I Fell Victim to a Flawed Belief in Great Man Theory

Unoriginal sin. Derivative sin

if i got possessed demonically i wouldn’t even notice it. with everything else i’ve got going on

if you hired a galapagos finch as a linecook it would perfectly evolve a beak to optimally smoke cigarettes behind the dumpsters