It's Friday don't forget to fuck that train!!!
It's Friday don't forget to fuck that train
is iambic pentameter!
Claire Keane

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$LAYYYTER

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EXPECTATIONS
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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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@hmmihaventdecidedyet
It's Friday don't forget to fuck that train!!!
It's Friday don't forget to fuck that train
is iambic pentameter!

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actually the way society hates both perverts and asexuals is kinda funny. Real "Anyone who thinks about sex more than I do is a porn-addicted degenerate and anyone who thinks about sex less than I do is a loser weirdo or a puritan" energy
maiden in need of rescue!!! what a horrible terrifying dragon!!!!
I've been thinking of the "Can Granny Weatherwax beat Bugs Bunny" question and this is my full take for Discworld characters:
Vimes - Cares too much, too easy to piss off. Has the innate chase instinct that makes characters run into walls with realistic tunnels painted on them. Might get to arrest Bugs Bunny but the beast will just slip out of the handcuffs to help him lock them, then walk out of the jail cell to have a union mandated coffee break.
Ridcully - Classic hunting season scenario, but has enough charisma to probably still get a few good shots off before the inevitable.
Rest of the wizards - No survivors, only Bugs.
Carrot - The intense near-magical narrative aura of well meaning innocence should make him immune, Bugs will likely be forced to be the villain of the episode.
Lord Vetinari - Flattened by a comically large anvil in the first few minutes of the episode, unclear if it was all a part of his long term strategy or not.
Moist - Has the 'lovable trickster getting away with it' energy, but nowhere near Bugs level. Already fell for the "old lady who swallowed a fly" scenario with the stamp slugs once, won't fare any better here.
Death - Definitely one of those "character is trying to avoid death" episodes, would go back and forth. Might actually get to end Bugs but his spirit will reappear in Death's domain and ruin his garden.
Nanny Ogg - The ultimate in anti-Bugs technology, a gleefully annoying old lady who doesn't give a fuck and definitely won't be the first to instigate the plot bearing conflict. This is a full sweep, he's the episode antagonist.
Granny Weatherwax - Too win-motivated to not lose. Would have to break the story to have any chance. Might do it.
Magrat - Will have sappy ideas about helping the poor animal which honestly has the 50:50 chance of either getting slapsticked or Bugs ending in a ye olde stroller&pacifier gag.
Colon&Nobby - Designed in a lab to be totaled by Bugs Bunny.
Tiffany Aching - A child that also has a large pan that is the perfect thing to hit someone over the head with and make a BOIOIOINGGG sound, so great odds.
The Aftermath of the Chosen One
Summary: Dulce is a Hero. The people who made her one better hope they never see her again. TW: mentions of violence, ptsd, panic attacks
————.
She is a villain when the adventure is over. It creeps up on her slowly. The shortened temper, the unnatural laughter, the darting eyes. She looks up at the corners of rooms for demon bats that don’t exist in this world and claws at her own flesh when she doesn’t find them.
Her companions come find her six months afterwards.
What does it look like, a prince and a knight and a mage walking into a McDonald’s? It’s 1 am, closing time, when she finds out.
“Dulce!” Prince Amor clanks through the fronts doors. He’s wearing the Royal Armor, the set that seems to glow from within with the Holy Light of his Blessed Ancestors. The crown on his head is as gold as his eyes. Everything about him looks fake under the artificial dining room lights, but he doesn’t notice. His golden eyes are locked on her. “At last, we’ve found you!”
She’s covered in a fine mist of oil, slashes of burns from the heat lamps marching up her arms. Her black pants are grey under a dusting of spilled flour and she knows her short, brown hair is frizzed up after her eight hour shift. She blinks at the three walking into the dining room and can’t find the words.
“I told you I’d find her,” Mage Kira says proudly. Her black dress looks like it belongs in a gothic version of the Nutcracker. She waves her flowering wand over her head. “Dulce’s magic has always been so distinctive, I knew it would be easy to find her in the Mundane World!”
Mundane world, Dulce thinks. That’s what they think of Earth. Mundane. Run-of-the-mill.
Not special.
Not worthy.
Dulce’s stomach cramps so badly that she sways on the spot. Why did she send the other girl home? Things would be so much easier if she had another human here.
Keep reading

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the challah was a challenge but i finished it!! 🥐🍞 pattern by yula
We’ve all heard of masculinity in a peacock way, but I’d like to pose a new idea: femininity in an anglerfish way
when all of this is over we’ll have a softer life together with no ending
Somehow being a person does not come naturally to me
Maybe one day we can stop moralizing the concept of privilege & everyone will get normaler about being told they have relative privilege over other people. Like literally everyone everywhere in some way. It's fine. Being aware of it can't hurt you
There's such an endless chorus of outraged "but what if I'm poor? What if I'm autistic" and it's like. Ok. You're not getting this at all let's just start over
The purpose of knowing that you have privilege over other people is so that you can fight for their rights.
Not so you can feel bad, not so you can self-flagellate, not so you can argue about who has it worse.
So you can be aware of whose rights are being violated and use that knowledge to fight for their rights.

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here is a document of antiracist resources for white people that is not too overwhelming and is organized by where you are in your journey of becoming antiracist
❌🚫🙅 "transmasc hyperinvisibility"
-> nonsense, redundant term (hyper-invisibility? as in more invisible than invisible?? Is the issue really just that people can't see us? Why can't they?) that frames our issues as if they're the opposite of trans women's issues (i.e. the opposite of hypervisibility)
✅💯👍 "transmasc erasure"
-> correctly frames it as a distinct and often purposeful/active removal of trans men/mascs from discourse and public life that doesn't directly have to do with trans women
There's really this strong temptation that everyone has which basically says "to have interiority is to be like me; ordinary people are surface everywhere." And this manifests in different ways in different spaces, and becomes really pronounced when you cluster together with similar people. So tumblr users often act like straight people don't have any interiority because it helps you feel the deepening of social bonds with other gay people. This happens professionally too. I think it was Summer or Sharks who was saying that programming people think that intelligence is just being really good at writing code. Not surprising but very strange to me! I am (equally ridiculously) used to thinking that intelligence is being really good at philosophy, having command of a lot of sources that you can use creatively, etc. This reflects a kind of dynamic on tumblr and reddit. On reddit to have interiority is to be a science guy and on tumblr to have interiority is to be a humanities girl (and the dynamic is gendered in exactly this way). And I think there is something dangerous about habitually regarding other people as automatons. It's good to have people outside of your niche to remind you that other people from different walks of life are quite deep and complicated. They are full of love and fine grained attention to things you never thought to care about. And I think a lot of people go through life thinking of themselves as perpetually victimized by basically empty people rather than having genuine confrontations with full, genuine people who are committed to subtle, complex and real values, who have detailed and intricate histories, and who have a bond to you that you might never quite fully understand. But we rarely even try at understanding these things. We just decide that they're stupid and ridiculous and unreasonable.
being closeted in a conservative, conformist town and then seeing a visibly queer person out in public is like seeing an angel. like finding cool water in a hot desert. like reuniting with a long lost family member. im gonna cry
I think one of my biggest drives in my transition has been to achieve this, I want to be that trans woman that a kid might look at and think "wow, I could be like her". I hope I've achieved that already to some extent, to go out with my frilly skirt and my trans colors openly displayed.
I want to become the girl that would've saved me when no one did.
I just woke up from a dream that I got invited to go clubbing with my friends last minute while I was wrapping up a volunteer shift at a big community center so on my way to the club I stopped at a mall and grabbed a random dress but for some reason I couldn’t change at the mall so I went farther down the highway and stopped at a rest stop. it was pouring rain and on the way in i slipped and got covered in mud & i dropped my dress in a puddle and it got soaking wet. i keep a blow dryer in my car (i travel a lot) so i grabbed it and went to the bathroom and started blow drying the dress.
i was freezing cold and soaking wet so i took off my jeans and t shirt since no one else was there but a man walked in, in a full blue velvet tuxedo and when we saw each other in my state of undress we both apologized.
he said the men’s room was closed for maintenance and asked if i minded if he used the women’s and i said i didn’t.
he came back out of the stall and said he was tired and actually came in to rest for twenty minutes before he got back on the road and i said that was fine so he sat on the bench in the bathroom and closed his eyes and we were both silent for a few minutes and then he opened his eyes and asked where i was headed and i said i was meeting friends at some club and he said
“i don’t know why you’re going to the club when you could be going to Ravioli Night.”
i said, “to what?”
he sat up excitedly and began to describe what sounded like a black-tie ball, all centered on eating a multi-course meal of different ravioli dishes.
it was already ten at night so i assumed he’d just come from there. i said sorry i missed it but maybe next time.
he said, “it only happens every four years, but you’re in luck; the first course isn’t served until midnight.”
i said, “people gather at midnight to eat ravioli?”
he smirked mischievously and said, “until dawn.”
my dress was mostly dry so i pulled it on over my head and i said, “based on your tux, i think i’d be too underdressed.”
he said, “you can be my plus-one, and no one will ask.”
it seemed to me this man had some sort of major social authority in this mysterious, nocturnal world of ravioli.
i considered it, but i said, “sorry….my friends are waiting for me.”
he smiled sadly for a moment, stood up, and asked if i had a pen. i did in my purse. he wrote coordinates on my arm and said, “if you change your mind….”
then he left.
i walked outside and he was already gone. i got in my car and hesitated to turn the key, considering the thrill in my chest at the concept of so much ravioli.
then i woke up at that moment. i’ll never know…….would i have followed my heart?
this man had the energy of a vampire love interest but i’m 100% certain he was human with some sort of powerful sway in this dark world of ravioli
going to sleep with a single ravioli under my pillow tonight to try to summon this man and finish what we started

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if u get into neopaganism u really have to spend the first like 2 years sorting out all the bullshit and finding out how much of it is either completely made up or outright stolen from other cultures and then go from there. u truly have to experience ego death, academic death, book collection death, and probably 47 other maimings or else you will be stuck believing something some guy said based on nothing in 1987 as your religion. it's harrowing. it's dire.
you can tell trans women are women because we're not allowed to be sexual but also everything we do has sexuality imposed upon it
you can tell trans women are women because we're not allowed to be angry
you can tell trans women are women because everyone else thinks they know our bodies, our minds, our experiences, our lives, better than we do
you can tell trans women are women because governments keep trying to legislate away our bodily autonomy