Hihi! I am just a silly little creature that enjoys lurking in the shadows and not sharing my own things (Aaa interacting is sccaarryyyy). I donât know how much Iâll post (that isnât just reblogs) but I do like to write. :>
(please please pleaasssee feel free to interact with me! I swear Iâm friendly! I love to yap about anything, but especially podcasts and fandoms Iâm in! If you have any questions about any podcasts Iâve listened to, or any recs (for me or wanting some for you!) PLEASE donât feel afraid to ask!!)
Names and pronouns are interesting for me but you can kind of use whatever you want and not be wrong, though when in doubt Vesper and they/them work fine :] If you really want to make sure youâre getting it right, my siblings did convince me to make a pronoun page! Itâs a work in progress but I try to update it often!
I am a minor, donât be weird. 𫵠But do feel free to reach out, I love making friends!!!
Interests/Hobbies: I like to crochet (though Iâve had no motivation lately đ) , I like to write stories, worldbuild, and I am the Forever DM of my friend group. And recently (the last 3 years) I have been obsessed with audio dramas (theyâve taken over my mind send help)
you can also see more of my interests and fandoms in the About Me section of my pronoun page :] though I do admit it is woefully outdated but Iâm too lazy to update it rn
â¨Podcasts!â¨
yes Iâm stealing gaysinmyears formatting for this.
I tried my best to put this in listening order, but it may be a little off. (I have no idea when I finally caught up to TFTSD)
Finished! (Or at least caught up)Â
Welcome to Nightvale / WTNV
Tales From The Stinky Dragon / TFTSD
Camp Here And There / CHNT
Malevolent (+tftdw)
Deviser
The Magnus Archives / TMA
The Magnus Protocol / TMAGP
Red Valley
Stellar Firma
The Harbingers
Life In The World To Come / LITWTC
The 12:37
Started! (Or still catching up)
Transplanar RPG (aauueegghh Iâm so far behind Iâm still in Second Strangeerrrr)
Just Roll With It / JRWI
Wolf 359
I will try my best to tag spoilers and such but BE WARNED I may forget
Probably wonât finish..
I listened to two episodes of Someone Dies in this Elevator (first ep and Mal-elevate-nt if anyone is curious)
I listened to a ton of Nine To Midnight
AND OMG I LISTENED TO MIDST IT WAS SO SO GOOD I LOVE IT SO MUCH I just donât particularly care one way or another about the new stuff so idk if I count it âfinishedâ or not (unsure if Unend is a new thing entirely or what)
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yall. YALL. say what you want about tmagp gerry but do NOT degoth my boy. just because heâs supernaturally happy doesnt mean he cant be our goth queen GUYS
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threshold is gonna be a horror podcast solely in the fact that faroe is gonna get her period and both arthur (only ever lived with a pregnant woman for whom this was not a concern) and john (didn't even know that was a thing the human body did) aren't going to know how to deal with it. they're going to accuse her first boyfriend of being a shapeshifting tentacle monster who eats people and she's gonna call arthur a hypocrite for acting like that would be a dealbreaker. auntie lillith is gonna show up and teach faroe how to do black magic and when jarthur get mad faroe's going to say it's just normal teenage girl stuff and they just don't understand. i literally cannot wait.
Finally catching up to Threshold and you can just hear so much love and joy in Joâs performance. Faroe already had my heart and Harlanâs choice of Jo just makes it so much better. You can hear her love for her fellow voice actor (her literal husband) as well as her love for the characters and the story and Faroe herself I just auauueegrghhhh
everyone go appreciate Joâs performance more NOOWWWW!!!!
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Oh no. Oh fuck. I am relistening to some of the earlier Protocol episodes, and I have a horrible, terrible, no good very bad suspicion about Gerry.
I could, I want to emphasize, be completely wrong! I could be wildly, hilariously, off the mark. But--hear me out. This is going to take some explaining about what I think is going on in the bigger picture worldbuilding stuff; hopefully it'll be coherent, but fair warning, it may get a bit long.
First: there have been a lot of cases that have boiled down to trying to keep only the "good"/desirable/etc aspects of things or events or people, and discard the "bad"/unwanted, right? We saw this happening very explicitly in episode 23 with Alesis Newman, and way back in episode 2 with Daria the painter, but a number of episodes have presented variations on a similar theme.
Two variations in particular that I've been thinking a lot about are the violinist in episode 4 and the gambler in episode 9. The violinist can play his violin beautifully, but he wants to be rid of the price in flesh and blood that it demands. Similarly, the gambler wants the rewards of rolling high on his magic dice, but wants to be rid of the misfortunes that come with rolling low. Crucially, both episodes make clear that in this type of balance--something unwanted for something wanted--you can't just make the unwanted piece vanish. It has to go somewhere, it has to happen. But you can make it happen to someone else, somewhere else. And when that's how the game works, one of the major questions for players who want to get ahead then becomes: "how do I make the bad stuff stay happening somewhere else, and keep reaping the benefits of the good stuff that balances it out?"
Here's where this gets wildly speculative and from here on I freely acknowledge that I may be talking out my ass:
I think the Magnus Institute was investigating that question. I suspect a great many alchemists before the Institute, probably going back to the times of Albertus Magnus, were investigating it as well. I think the Great Work they were attempting -- the "universal transmutation" alluded to in episode 21 as the Magnus Institute's aim -- was the exact opposite of Jonah Magnus's own "Great Work" in TMA. In other words, I think they were probably trying to make the world an eternal paradise, rather than an eternal hell.
But if you're getting rid of all the "bad" stuff, all the suffering and misfortune, it's got to go somewhere.
I think they were sending it through to other worlds.
I'm not going to get into all the reasons I think that right now, because that's a whole essay in itself, but basically--the Leitners in TMA? The artifacts? All the little bits and pieces of evil given physical form, that never had a clear origin point in the world where they caused so much suffering for so long? We've all been worried about them winding up here, post-Archives... but I think this is where they came from in the first place. I think they were sent away in the hopes that an increase in "bad" in other worlds would lead to an increase in "good" in this one. Remember all those books Albrecht von Closen found in the tomb in the Black Forest in TMA, that Jonah Magnus later stole and let loose on the world? Remember that Albrecht found a mysterious coin along with them dated 1279? Albertus Magnus died in 1280; I strongly suspect he sent those books from the world of Protocol to that of Archives shortly before his death, much as the world of Archives sent the tapes away centuries later. But I think Protocol's world kept sending things away, kept trying to export "bad" and import "good". Remember all those happy, laughing volunteers bringing strange and sinister items to the charity shop on Hill Top Road in episode 7? "All for a good cause."
Okay so. Now. With that bit of hypothetical framework for Protocol's worldbuilding in place, let's next go back to Alesis Newman of episode 23. Her expressed wish is to create a new her. "Someone better. Someone the pain can't touch." Someone who can be everything Alesis wishes she could have been. Someone "free of all (her) mistakes."
But increasingly it sounds like what she actually wants isn't to create someone new. It is to create someone who is only a part of her current self. Someone who, she says in one of her last few posts, will "just be the good parts of me."
And if that's the case, if what she's really trying to do is make someone who holds only the "good" parts of her, someone who can be happy and strong and perfect and loved by everyone forever... what happens to the bad parts of Alesis Newman, as she currently exists? What about the parts of her that feel pain and fear, the parts of her that make mistakes, the parts of her that she rejects?
One might assume, from the experience she narrates, that those pieces of her are simply being destroyed. But that doesn't line up with the suggestion we've seen from earlier episodes that there has to be some kind of balance maintained in these bargains. What she actually says is happening to her--and what the forum members have apparently told her will happen, through this process--is that she and this "new her" are "becoming one... and then two."
I don't think the "bad" parts of Alesis Newman are dying. I think they're also going to become a "new her"--they're just going to go somewhere else, somewhere the new, happy, strong, perfect version of Alesis Newman never has to see them.
Still with me?
Okay.
Now let's talk about Gerry. Let's talk about the smiling, laughing, irrepressibly happy Gerry Keay we meet early in Protocol. Gerry who seems to have everything that the Gerry Keay of Archives was denied.
Gerry who underwent tests at the Magnus Institute as a child, and who, per the static over his and "Gee Gee's" words, holds a few more secrets about what went on there than he let on to Sam and Celia.
Back when I first heard Gerry's appearance in episode 8, it sure felt like a narrative gut punch: This is who he could have been in Archives, if not for the presence of the Fears. This is what Jon and Martin's final decision threatens to destroy--for this safe, happy version of Gerry, and for everyone else in his world.
I'm now suspecting it might be significantly worse than that. I think the Magnus Institute might have done to Gerry Keay something similar to what Alesis Newman later did to herself: made him New. Kept only the good parts--ensured a happy, comfortable, good life for him. In which case, all the bad stuff--all the parts of Gerry Keay that would ever have to suffer from bad luck, to feel pain and fear and misery...
...well. They'd have had to go... somewhere else, wouldn't they.
Which would suggest I had the causality the wrong way around the first time I heard Gerry's appearance in Protocol: maybe it's not "Gerry has a happy life in this world because he didn't have to suffer everything that the Gerry Keay of Archives did."
Maybe it's "Gerry in Archives had to suffer everything he did because Gerry in Protocol was made to always be happy."
If weâre all sufficiently devastated by episode 53 enough-
Do you think Gerryâs powers affect himself? Do you think heâs incapable of being anything other than happy and joyful? Do you think when the all-too-human Gertrude dies heâll even be able to mourn?
FUCK another point towards the Gerry situation being Fucked: the episode title is âRunning on Empty.â The case being about something that seems vibrant, colorful and full of life at a distance but when you get closer itâs hollow, thereâs nothing behind it
Gerry's whole situation in TMAGP is so messed up but sooo interesting to think about. Like, imagine if, since the age of 9 years old, no one you interacted with could ever experience any emotion except joy. Of course you'd be naive about how bad people's intentions can truly be if ever since your childhood they were incapable of feeling anything negative around you. Like, it'd affect you and the way you see everything ssooooo much even if it looks like a good thing on the outside. And it's even worse if he's affected by his own abilities as well, I'm not sure if it's clarified if he can feel things that aren't joy or if he's just happy all the time and nice to everyone because everyone he ever interacts with is also happy and nice all the time. If it is the case that he is affected by his own ability (which it probably is) then oouuaghhhhh aoaaueeghhhhh oaoauuaghhhhhh
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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