verycisdragon

my family has had some pretty interesting encounters with psychics/mediums that seem genuine in the past, but nothing will ever be funnier to me than the last guy my mom talked to who was so definitely bullshitting, because she said "I was hoping to hear from my husband" and the guy went "he said....it's okay to Move On" and like. every single person my mom has recounted this too has been like "He Would Not Fucking Say That". as if this was an ooc fanfic about my father. it's just so fucking funny. fake psychic dude take your shitty headcanons about my ghost dad and LEAVE!!!

like, my parents were legitimately insane about each other. I cannot stress how much he wouldn't say that. I have to assume his ghost was standing right next to this fake psychic yelling "WHAT THE FUCK!!!!" when he told my mom to move on lmfao

actually. funnier to imagine he was a Real Psychic who was just trying to put a move on my mom and didn't think the ghost would do anything about it and now is now dealing with a violently angry haunting for the rest of his days lmfao

Psychic: I also choose this guy’s still-alive wife.

fundraiser for their legal expenses x

a car swerved to try and hit me while i was typing this ??

imagine i die and the cops pick up my phone and im halfway through making a post about lemonade

women dupilcation glitch. infinite women hack. women spawn debug command.

Her just pouring the puree straight over the duck's head because she knows there's no getting that duck out of the cup is killing me

ancient greek word of the day: κακοθερής (kakotherēs), unfitted to endure summer heat

this literally means “bad at summer” pass it on

Reblog if you, too, are bad at summer

i enjoy that theres a lot of dog imagery in the trans community but it seems to vary wildly between "I AM A CAGED WOLF I NEED TO TEAR OFF MY SKIN I NEED YOU TO SEE MY TEETH AND KNOW WHO I TRULY AM INSIDE" and "im ouuppyyy i need . pets on my head :) "

sometimes u headcanon a character as a sexuality but then also ship things that contradict that. sometimes you ship things you would NEVER EVER want in canon. this is because these things are fun and silly and not legally binding.

Yeah I don't know where some people got this idea that fanfic is always like, auditioning to replace canon or being posited as "better" than canon, as opposed to people just borrowing the characters to play with in the sandpit for a while before putting them back in their box

(no beers in) So how do you perceive me in the privacy of your thoughts