me and my pointy hat

(to the tone of creep by radiohead) but i'm asleep. on mypillow

voted “guy most akin to a well-behaved dog at the function” third year in a row.

do you want to come over and care about me

A truthberry might make you tell the truth... But a lieberry? A lieberry will loan you books

(:3 っ)∋ <- seal

my friend's puppy has baffling levels of attitude for someone who's only been around for a handful of months. he understands concepts like deceit and civil disobedience and other things i didn't fully grasp until well into my 20s. this guy doesn't even know the seasons loop yet. he's probably like okay spring. what's next. some other new bullshit i bet

the intimacy of feeling safe enough to be vulnerable

they want you to make fried rice

who is "they"

the wok left

how am I supposed to make fried rice if the wok left

skillet issue

“Your days are numbered” yeah it’s called a calendar you fucking idiot.