Half-Elf-Rogue

My revelation regarding this was spurred by a little-known film that actually didn’t do very well in theatres at all, from the early 90s called Corina Corina.

Starring heartthrob of the time Ray Liotta, fresh off his Goodfellas fame and…..Whoopie Goldberg??? as his love interest??????

Bear with me here.

Corina Corina is the story about a man whose wife died, leaving him alone to parent his 8-9 year old daughter alone in what appears to be the late 50s-early 60s.   His daughter, Molly, is non-verbal due to the trauma of her mother’s death and is dealing with feelings of isolation as a result of her mourning process. Ray Liotta’s character makes a concentrated effort to be a good dad for her, but it’s real clear that both of them are still dealing with the death of his wife. Because Ray’s character works full time, he needs to find a nanny to watch his girl and pick her up from school. After a couple of terrible experiences (one with a hilarious appearance by Joan Cusack) he decides to hire Whoopie Goldberg. Whoopie Goldberg’s character is a college educated black woman (in the 50s!!!!) who appears to be doing domestic work because its the only work white 50s America will hire her for. She and Ray’s daughter Molly get along well because she is the first person to take Molly’s decision to be non-verbal seriously and learn an alternate way to communicate with her.

Long story short, Whoopie Goldberg and Ray Liotta fall in love and live happily ever after. 

But, more importantly, the way the movie built their love changed the way I was able to process hetero couples on screen forever.

1. First, they were both provided with alternate romance options from the beginning of the movie. Ray was given an extremely attractive white lady love interest, and Whoopie was given an attractive and charming black man love interest. Both of them were given opportunities to return their affection but both pointedly chose not to.

2. They were attracted to each other based on common interest. They both liked the same music, they both bonded over their ability to play the piano, they both loved molly, they both helped encourage each other in their chosen fields (whoopie’s was english, and ray’s was being a songwriter), they both respected each other’s opinions and they both were honest with each other about the circumstances they were in.

3. They were realistic about the issue of a black woman being in a relationship with a white man in the era, and didn’t glide over racial identity issues. Ray made sure that his white neighbors knew that he loved her and didn’t care what they thought. He even explained to his mom that Molly emulating black culture wasn’t shameful and that she should mind her business about the way he felt about Whoopie Goldberg.

4. When Ray confessed his feelings, it was incredibly heartfelt and he was literally crying.

5. They didn’t pursue a romantic relationship until Whoopie wasn’t working for him anymore. And they didn’t gloss over the issue of power disparity in that equation. Ray doesn’t condescend to Whoopie at all through the movie, but once he’s aware he has feelings for her, his new goal is to let her know that he unquestionably considers her his equal both in private and in public And its clear that he’s aware that this is the first thing that must be settled before anything else. 

By the time you get to the end of the movie, the entire concept of Ray Liotta being with Whoopie Goldberg seems not only normal, but exceptionally romantic and you’re left wondering why you thought they would be a gross couple to begin with when they’re sO cLeArLy MaDe fOr eAcH oThEr

I now call this the Corina Corina standard. 

If a movie has a hetero couple and their relationship isn’t as fleshed out as Ray/Whoopie, I now have difficulty accepting whats occurring. 

The concept that two hot straight people who are vaguely near each other just doesn’t do it for me anymore after watching Ray Liotta walk through a black neighborhood in the 50s and knock on Whoopie’s door to beg her to come home to him.

Oh so you say your characters are in love?

These sheep? They are actually running away from the car.

The one, major, overwhelming priority of sheep: Stay With The Herd. This is why you get sheepnados: every single sheep is doing his or her devoted best to stay with the herd. So the sheep runs out of the way … .to the rest of the herd. At which point the other sheep follow it and … .you get sheepnado. 

The sheepnado continues in part because there’s nothing to stop it: the car doesn’t actually present a clear and present threat (none of the sheep have been hurt), and there’s no farmer or dog to take that lead position and give them direction. It’s ore or less succeeding at what it needs to, which is that no sheep are being run down by the car, but, THE HERD IS STAYING TOGETHER. 

If you want to see how smart a sheep gets, take it away from the herd. 

(And if you think about this, it makes perfect sense: “stay with the herd” has HUGE SELECTION PRESSURE on it for domestic sheep. Domestic sheep who stray, die without reproducing. Domestic sheep that get stroppy with the farmer or interfere with the leadership of farmer and his dogs … die, usually without reproducing. Domestic sheep that Stay With The Herd? Usually live and reproduce. The herd becomes ALL IMPORTANT. It’s not that they don’t know they’re running in circles, it’s that running in circles achieves The Goal.

It’s not that sheep have no survival instincts: it’s that we as a species have actually redirected their survival instincts in one overwhelming direction, and evolution is a messy kludge.) 

We expend lifetimes of effort and time and energy to risk catastrophic life-and-quality-of-life-threatening injury (concussion, broken neck, broken collar bone, broken face … ), in order to chase a ball around the field. Never mind the sheer level of engineering, money and resources necessary to make a hockey rink. 

And the spectators are even worse. People spend huge amounts of resources going to strange places in order to sit in the stands and watch people do the above. 

I think the mistake everyone is making here is assuming these sheep are scared. Note the guy by the wall. If they were scared of humans or cars that’d be sufficient to not only break the tornado but also have them running for the hills. The problem is basically they are not scared enough.

Let me explain!

So you know your personal space bubble, right? You are likely to feel very threatened when that stranger at the party moves in too close and take a step back to keep him at bay. Also, no one likes sitting right next to someone at a cinema or on the train unless the other seats are taken, right? So sheep have that, but it applies to non-sheep that are pinged as possible predators. Cows have it too. Makes sense, right? Anyone who gets in too close who you don’t know is likely to be a predator, regardless of your species.

This personal space bubble might be, oh, say, ½ a kilometre in size if they live in the middle of the outback with 2000 of their buddies and see a human once a season for medication, but are otherwise left to their own devices. Most of the time though it’s far smaller, and there isn’t really one for members of their flock, although if there’s no threats around they’ll spread out to graze across an entire paddock, staying close to their bffs.

(Tangent: the CSIRO found out in the 70s or 80s, by use of some guy, binoculars and countless manhours, that yes, sheep tend to hang out with the same sheep again and again when people aren’t running around scaring them. They may look alike to you or I but they recognise each others faces, just like we do!)

ANYWAY. Say you’re a person coming in to herd them. They’ll ignore you until you get close to the boundaries of that personal space bubble then the ones nearest to you will start looking at you nervously in a, “Gosh, that guy better not be moving towards me. Sandra, do you think he’s coming towards us?” kind of way, and will be trying to decide whether to go or stay - just like one might when the creeper comes into the party and starts walking towards you.

Now, the leader sheep, that they all follow? She’s not the smartest or most independent one, she’s the one with the smallest personal space bubble and the distance you’ve walked to get the others nervous is close enough to get her unhappy. She’ll run in the direction opposite to you. In which case her supportive buddies flocking instincts kick in and they go, “Oh shit, Sandra thinks it’s a threat. Cluster up, girls!” and all zoom off together, away from the threat. Sandra has no idea where she’s going, she’s scared, but if another predator turns out to be in the direction they’re running the flock will split and run on either side of them to merge again, rather crowd at the train station around a pylon kind of way.

(Tangent: In low stress stock handling, the welfare gold star modern method of livestock handling, we take advantage of this by teaching sheep their boundaries will be respected. We move to the edges of their their flight zone - that is, personal space bubble - and let them move away, letting them learn that we will not push too much or hurt them. If they gently keep pace we’ll steer them towards the yard with food while respecting their wishes to not be near us. They don’t get scared, and no one - us or them - accidentally gets hurt by a panicked stamped)

Returning to the above photo! The problems start if they are so used to you the flight zone is tiny. You’re an adopted member of the flock, they actually are cool with you being at arms distance. You can’t cuddle them, you’re not an actual sheep, but you have to really get close, go, “OI! MOVE IT LADIES!” and wave your arms around to get them moving, because they know you’re not a threat. Same applies to cars actually. And they can tell motors apart by sound. The ute is kinda boring, but the tractor or gator? Holy shit, food delivery time!

And that is how we’ve ended up with sheepnados around the gator, which we were using because it was a four wheel drive and the ute would get bogged, but I had experiments to do. And they decided this meant food and bailed me up until I fed them. I didn’t even have more than a bucket on me. I had to run ahead, sprinkling it like bird seed to get them to move, so we wouldn’t accidentally kill them. Annnnnnd I’ll bet you anything that the sheep in the picture were used to being fed by exactly the same kind of ute, if not by the same one, and the poor driver is trying to inch forward to get to town but the sheep are just FRIEND? FOOD FRIEND? HI FRIEND. FOOD NOW? NOW?

Supporting visual evidence? Look at how there’s no running away from the car, when ute herding, complete with horn beeping is actually a very common way to herd flocks. Look at how the ute is miserably inching forward, giving them a clear direction to run, but they are so not scared that at the moment flocking instinct has kicked in but not enough panic to actually direct it. I Imagine the driver is honking like crazy, to no avail. Look at the random terrifying predator human by the wall, who is sensibly turning his back to the sheep, because if the predator has his back turned you can run behind him! But no sheep is utilising the supplied alternate route. Yeah, these guys aren’t scared, this is an armed robbery of an empty pizza delivery truck.

…you guys…

Just read an excerpt from a productivity/goal setting book that concerned Tolkien.

His publisher mentioned that people wanted more about the hobbits after Tolkien published The Hobbit.

So Tolkien started another novel.

And apparently bounced between the depths of despair and the height of confidence for the entire process (he said that: “his ‘labour of delight’ had been ‘transformed into a nightmare.’”)

He gave up multiple times.

That book? Fellowship of the Ring.

You know what kept him going? C.S. Lewis’ support.

First lesson: if you’re stressing over your book, remember that Tolkien did too.

You know what else kept him going while he wrote Lord of the Rings? Well, 

having an income while he wrote, that he didn’t really have to work for. In fact, he held his dream job (Professor of Literature) with a full-time income, that came with a pleasant private office. He sat at work, for which he was being paid to do something else, and actively avoided doing his actual job while he pursued his own unrelated novel.

having a stay-at-home wife to run his entire home and family for him.

having servants…. that helps….

having a large, pretty house within a pleasant 25-minute walk of work.

never having to do:

household maintenance

laundry

cooking

cleaning

Life Admin

the not-fun gardening

the not-fun childcare

The work day of Men of His Time ended when they came home. Women of His Time, and Staff, existed to run the rest of his life. And that’s what they did. Jonald Ronald Rolkien Tolkien was the center of his household universe, which existed to support him in every possible way.

Let’s be real: he was not the person who was up in the night with a teething baby. That was what the nanny was for, followed by the wife. It would have been unthinkable for a man of his time/class to do his own childcare.

Actually, it’s worth noting that he had in particular a Very Intelligent Icelandic nanny, who lived in his house and looked after his four children all day, and was never given a holiday, and told the children lovely bedtime stories about trolls and the Icelandic Edda, and who provided a useful resource for the language and myth he used in LoTR, until his wife became too jealous.

I mean, what could YOU do if you had that much support? Write an epic! probably!!

Because nobody was forcing him to do anything, ever, he slept late and woke up late. sounds nice

Tolkien did not do laundry. He did not cook meals. He did not clean the house. He did not wrestle rice pudding down the necks of his screaming babies, while calmly and lovingly answering his schoolchild’s questions. He wasn’t making a cake while talking to his boss on the phone and wiping up the dog’s sick. He did not spend hours every day in the process of keeping his home together, or sorting the affairs of his four children, or sorting out the wifi. The Care and Keeping of Tolkien was outsourced to wife, servants, scouts, assistants, waitstaff.

He would have received free meals at work, although he usually walked home for lunch, where he was served food and alcohol that he took into his private study. but if he didn’t want to do that, Oxford profs of His Time could just get free lunch. He could ring a bell to be brought tea and snacks at work. And then he would go home and be served dinner.

Going to the pub with his friends, who supported and admired him! Sure!

not having to go home in the evening to his four toddlers and children, because he was a Man of His Times! and he could totally just spend evenings holed up in a pub with his admirers, because he was not required at home to help, or parent, or do anything in the home, except be served a glass of beer and go into his study.

god, imagine spending hours in the pub on a work night with a bunch of highly qualified literature professors telling you how smart and lovely and amazing you are. heck YES you’d be encouraged.

The Hobbit was already popular so it was probably quite helpful to know that while writing the next work.

Working and writing in a place that is generally considered to be an inspiring setting for academia and literature. Want to write Elrond’s Council? Sit down at a beautiful old stone table and start writing about the table. Want to write about a tree? Go write under your favorite ancient tree in the Botanical Gardens. Want a snack? Ring a bell and a scout will bring you toast and a cup of tea.

I mean, he wasn’t exactly spending his 40 hours a week under a manager’s baleful eye while he manned the self-checkouts at the Tesco in Coventry, or pumped gas for minimum wage in Montauk, scribbling notes into his phone. He floated around The City of Dreaming Spires, dreamily making art, while several people labored very hard so that he would be untroubled by Real Life while he floated.

Let’s be real. Tolkien’s literary accomplishments are very impressive, but he L I T E R A L L Y

was doing them on his work clock with the full support of a pit crew.

To be fair, I love the man. And I love the huffy apologism in the Tolkien Gateway: “Writing  [The Fellowship of the Ring] was slow due to Tolkien’s perfectionism, and was frequently interrupted by his obligations as an examiner, and other academic duties.”

I’m ??? sorry that writing a novel on the company dime was frequently interrupted by occasionally having to do his job???? oh my god I love and hate this so much,

Dianna Wynne Jones, of Tolkien’s students at Oxford, commenting “of Tolkien, they said he was wasting his time on hobbits when he should have been writing learned articles…”

maybe because that’s what academics are SUPPOSED TO DO, it is their job,,,

He would also deliberately mumble incomprehensibly, ignoring his students, deliberately delivering terrible lectures, so that they would all go away; but Dianna actually wanted to receive some of the education she’d been promised:

“I imagine I caused Tolkien much grief by turning up to hear him lecture week after week, while he was trying to wrap his lectures up after a fortnight and get on with The Lord of the Rings (you could do that in those days, if you lacked an audience, and still get paid).”

God love the man! Deliberately teaching so badly because he planned to alienate his students and collect a paycheck! He would be flayed on social media for less, today. There would be news articles about the Lazy Professor. He would be fired, and buried, and dug up, and fired again.

like?? do you see this???

what’s the point of that??

was he afraid of losing it like Obi-Wan lost all of his?/

why did the costume department find this necessary??

Watch: There are some horrible stereotypes about curvy shoppers out there — these women are proving them wrong.

Seamus gave a great roar of delight then ran to give Dean a lung crushing hug before pulling him down into a desperate kiss that was hungrily returned. Harry supposed ‘best friends’ was no longer an accurate description of the pair. 

or:

There were duels all over the stairs and in the Hall, Death Eaters everywhere Harry looked. He saw Alicia and Katie share a passionate kiss before they raced down the corridor to join the battle.

or maybe:

“Did I know in my heart of hearts what Gellert Grindelwald was? I think I did, but I closed my eyes. I chose to be blinded by my love for him. A choice that has haunted me ever since” 

or perhaps:

As Harry entered the great hall he walked past Lavender and Parvati who were sitting opposite the latter’s twin with their bodies pressed close together while their hands held the others in a death like grip that showed no signs of ever being let go.

or even:

“Albus Severus” Harry said quietly, so that nobody but Ginny could hear him, who tactfully turned to talk to Oliver and Marcus as they waved off their own three boys.