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trying on a metaphor

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Jules of Nature
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@chewbaccaaah

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a lot of scares get like a second of reaction before the "oh -_-" moment but dude legit spent a solid ten seconds ready to be killed by a dragon
This is made 10x better by the account name being “anxietycouple”
You can tell my personal life is really bad right now, because I just told Mothman I want to use his dremel on the kitchen cabinets to open them up, and normally when I float the idea of something like that there’s at least some token resistance because he knows it’s a ton of work and money we don’t have. Not to mention energy.
But no. He parsed the desperation in my tone and nodded like, sure thing, girlypop, just don’t hurt yourself.
Anyway. I think I’m going to dismantle my kitchen.
Aw, my orbital sander is dead. Rip.
ACE hardware to the rescue.
Found an ant bait trap in the pantry that had been taped to the wall and painted over at some point. We've been in this house for twelve years this year, and I'm still finding landlord specials hidden away.
At least this time it wasn't a lead pipe concealed by a PVC pipe that had been cut to encase it.
lol, it looks like the ant trap was possibly installed in 2005. Incredible.
ID: Three photos side by side showing a blue-nitrile-gloved hand peeling away the paint over the plastic shell of an ant bait trap before peeling it off the wall. When flipped over, the ant trap has instructions for installation, replacement, serial and batch numbers, and the date 2005. /end ID.
Again, at least it's not something too insane. Like the ceiling light being held up by a single screw or the dishwasher being plugged into the wall via a light switch box.
Me, pointing to the mirror: Do NOT become The Joker about this. This isn’t even a Condiment Man situation.

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The groomer gave Holly a sparkly, strawberry themed bow after her haircut today, and she's been pleased as punch about it all day. Just prancing around the house showing it off, making sure we've seen it.
ID: two photos side by side of a small gold and white Shih Tzu with dark ears wearing a red and white polka dot harness sitting in a car on someone's lap. A sparkly, pink, strawberry themed bow has been attached to the harness. In the second picture, the dog's tongue is hanging out in a goofy, lolling smile. She looks very pleased with herself. /end ID.
Truly my dog 😂
Clark Kent gaslighting Lois Lane into believing he’s not Superman.
Thank you all, i needed further explanation - And i do find it might help me!
one of the hardest things to learn as a depressed former Gifted Kid™ is that half-assed is better than nothing. take the 50%, 40%, even 20% job. scrubbing your face is better than not taking a shower at all. picking up your clothes is better than never cleaning. nibbling on some bread is better than starving.
DO THINGS HALFWAY. NOW YOU’RE 100% BETTER OFF THAN YOU WERE BEFORE.
One of my college professors used to say “anything worth doing is worth doing poorly.” I didn’t understand that for years because I didn’t do anything poorly, I couldn’t do anything poorly, I had to Do Everything Perfectly.
But brushing your teeth for 30 seconds is better than not brushing them at all when that 2 minutes seems exhausting. Doing ten minutes of yoga is better than 10 minutes of sitting when 30 minutes of cardio sounds impossible. Changing my clothes is good when a whole shower is impossible. Standing on the porch for a few minutes is worth it after being in the house for three straight days because I don’t have the energy to go anywhere.
Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly… because doing it poorly is better than not doing it.
someone please hit me over the head with this post every day for like the next week thanks. a mention, a reblog with text, a message, something.
You must understand that perfectionism isn’t striving for excellence, it’s a crippling fear of being flawed and therefore worth abandonment or punishment. It’s a kind of psychological avoidance. You’re avoiding fear and failure , not embracing the thing you want to do bc if it was about the thing you want to do you’d be fine with partial victory.
Do you think Clark Kent's first few major articles were about the continued presence of lead pipes in parts of Metropolis' water system
(Average Metropolis reader after investigative reporter C. Kent's 452nd article on yet another case of landlords/business owners/factories' continued use of lead pipes/paint/gas/glass knowingly exposing the public to dangerously toxic lead levels) what the fuck happened to this guy
One day Bruce Wayne mentions in an interview that heroes like Superman are overrated, as the most effective way to reduce crime is to provide public resources and improve local infrastructure, then cites how neighboring city Metropolis has effectively lowered their violent crime by 13% after addressing their outdated water system and investing low income housing. the reporter conducting the interview suddenly starts looking a little uncomfortable
To be clear, Clark is still a fantastic investigative reporter. He still has to track down the sources to prove all this shit
"Who, Clark Kent? Yeah, we're pretty sure he's a Meta. Is he a superhero? Like what, "Lead-detector guy"? "Captain pipes?" Don't get me wrong, he's a great guy and it's a handy trick, but it's lead detection, not laser vision. He's not about to go running around in tights any time soon."
I just love the idea of a cape maintaining their secret identity by pretending to be a completely different and less impressive kind of parahuman.
everyone assumes that kent is so squirrely around superheros because he’s just desperately hoping not to be conscripted to the JLA to fix their plumbing
Local Metropolis Reporter Publically Recognized For Contributions To The City; Awarded Medal Of Distinction
They tried to get superman to present the medal but he was offended at being called "overrated" in comparison to Clark so he declined
Counter offer: Bruce Wayne disguised as Superman
beating this dead horse with memes
Hey this was a real fun little read. It's so great to find these treasures on this site
We’re happy to have you!

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australian sour patch kids have gluten in them i am truly at my fucking limit im crashing out im waging war against wheat idgaf anymore
oh is that one of those things where ableist companies put in traces of common allergens so they can just avoid the cost of making it safe
WHAT
A trend we predicted in 2016 continues.
US based but it’s similar reasons in other countries. and of course many companies have international locations. idk if that’s why it’s happening with sour patch kids but this is a thing
I cannot even explain how ANGRY I am at this.
My nephew is very allergic to eggs, peanuts, tree nuts, and sesame. Last year my sister discovered all hot dogs and hamburger buns now contain sesame. Not "may contain", but listed in the ingredients. This year basically every brand of sliced bread also now contains sesame, making it very difficult to find bread items he can eat.
They're just adding it to their products, so they can just list it as an ingredient and not bother with worrying about cross contamination. And they aren't even bothering with telling anyone. Capitalism is going to kill us all.
"Which brings us back to Kellogg’s. Back in 2016, the company found a way around the added burden and expense of complying with the FSMA: they simply began adding trace amounts of peanut flour to their cracker products. Doing so allowed them to list peanuts as an ingredient of the product, freeing them from having to prevent cross-contact.
At the time, Kellogg’s notified Food Allergy Research and Education (FARE) about the impending change and left it to them to warn the allergic community. In this case, Pearson’s didn’t even bother as near as we can tell."
I wonder if that’s part of the reason behind my seeing an upswing in products adding corn starch or corn flour to things that didn’t have those before? <- rhetorical question, because I’m certain that’s what’s going on.
my controversial opinion is I don’t think Zuko was confused by “my first girlfriend turned into the moon”
he was there during siege of the North. he infiltrated the spirit oasis. he has an uncle who studies spirits and the spirit world. he watched the sky go dark then the moon suddenly reappear like everyone else in the entire world did. and most importantly he watched zhao get eaten by a giant godzilla fish spirit.
his entire life since he saw that beam of blue-white light in the south pole has been ‘this day has already been so goddamn weird’
The only really new information was that that was Sokka’s girlfriend
Important opinion in the tags that I need to have be part of the post:
Also, Iroh was there? He literally watched Sokka make out with the moon spirit. And you want to tell me that a romantic sap like him would not have immediately told Zuko about this romantic tragedy? Please, Zuko has known about this for ages, he just knows that this is not an acceptable situation in which to say “yeah, I know.”
Sokka: “My girlfriend turned into the moon.”
Zuko: “I know.” “Yes.” “She sure did.” “Uh huh.” “Tell me something new.” “Are we still talking about that?” “That’s rough, buddy.”
[image: tags by samwisethebold: #it’s not that he doesn’t get what sokka means #it’s that how on earth do you respond to that]
When you put it like that, this is actually a legendary display of tact on Zuko’s part
what the hell is going on
i believe in you Binface. you can do it. this could be your moment.
Please god it would be so funny
there is no downside to voting for Count Binface. its not taking away from other candidates bcos they aren't any and the more votes he gets the stupider Farage looks.
for people out of the loop:
Nigel Farage is the leader of Reform UK, a far right party who are currently in the process of a serious bid to become the UK government. they are just straight up evil.
Count Binface is an intergalactic space warrior with a bin on his head. he likes to run as a novelty candidate in general and mayoral elections. a big thing he likes to do is run as a candidate against the incumbent prime minister:
(Also pictured: Boris Johnson, Elmo)
Anyway, in brief:
Nigel Farage is currently in the midst of a big scandal about his finances
He has decided to deal with this by 1) making a show of nobly resigning from parliament and then 2) immediately running in the resulting by-election
He has stated that he is letting 'the people' judge his actions and implied that if he wins that will prove that he has been exonerated in the court of public opinion
His goal was presumably to get a big resounding win over the other parties, proving that The People still love him.
the other parties have thus far decided that this is a 'vanity election' and, well, there is one very easy way to ensure that he will not beat any of them, and that is simply not to play.
and as a result the only person who has so far confirmed they are running against him is Count Binface. no matter the outcome this makes Nigel Farage look like, u know, a fucking clown.
So what happens if Count Binface actually wins? Does he join Parliament? Does he have to take the bin off his face?
I've seen some people saying he would have to give up his title but it would seem that is no longer the case as of 1999; so, no, he can keep his ceremonial bin if he wishes.
Important to note also that Count Binface is the alter ego of comedian & political satirist Jon Harvey who seems to be an intelligent individual with reasonable politics. As I said no real downside.
The no hats rule clearly does not apply to him. He is not wearing a hat. It's a bin.
Op turned off reblogs but I MUST

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ID: A youtube comment with 11 likes by Niceone, it says "I've lived 46 years without knowing this. How nice of life to save some of the best bites for later." End ID.
Normally, people tend to get frustrated, even jokingly, if they miss out on something. This comment was on a song from 1974 and it made me smile quite much. Simply appreciative. Like a dessert after dinner.
It is genuinely mind blowing to me just how many Tumblr posts have changed my life for the better and taught me to be happier. Not all of the thoughts originate on Tumblr, but the way people collect and frame them has literally changed my brain chemistry.
There's "committing to the bit" and then there's whatever the fuck Shawn Spencer and Burton Guster were doing on television every week from 2006-2014