"Alors! That sunscreen won't apply itself, you know~"

titsay
Cosimo Galluzzi

Kiana Khansmith
cherry valley forever

shark vs the universe
Peter Solarz

@theartofmadeline
styofa doing anything
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
h

Product Placement
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Keni
Claire Keane
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

JVL

★
Today's Document
d e v o n
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@swarthwhore
"Alors! That sunscreen won't apply itself, you know~"

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so. i just learned that my entirely me-written resume flags as being AI-written by automated HR systems for a few writing quirks and the fact that i followed all the rules of good resume writing, which is apparently a telltale sign of AI use in this fucking hellworld. i've been desperately applying to jobs that i am massively overqualified for for months with no response, not even an interview, and now i find out that at least part of the reason is because some fucking moron decided that following the rules every career advisor has given me for a decade means i cheated and should be disqualified. the ai bubble cannot pop soon enough. what the actual fuck.
"frequent use of action-result sentences. bullet points all start with action verbs. no career gaps." girl what the fuck are you talking about. that's just resume writing advice being followed. i just did what i was told. it's a fucking resume. you're supposed to do all that stuff. what the fuck do you mean it looks ai generated and wouldn't pass basic detection systems?????????? for following the resume writing rules????????????
wishing every AI bro and ceo a very [REDACTED]
WARNING do NOT start reading books and comics or watching movies or looking at art!!! you will start wanting to create art yourself. or god forbid. writing.
[ID: Reddit comment in the subreddit r/IAmA from K.A. Applegate, the author of Animorphs, reading, "So sorry to get you into writing. What a horrible thing to inflict on you. Should have just sold you crack." /end ID]
crazy how there are only 2 hours of doing things every day before you keel over and die. if this werent normal id be worried
Where's that tweet about how American chants are "let's go [team name] and some other country (Irish?) fans are "I've made up a song about the other team's drinking problem to the tune of London Bridge Is Falling Down one two three"?

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My favorite “humans are space orcs” idea is that trope where aliens kidnap some humans for their zoo, except it ends up like Jurassic Park. And the poor Alien Humanologists who were invited to the park are like:
“You mean you locked up a pack of curious, highly competitive persistence predators with NO enrichment in the enclosure? You FOOLS! If you had bothered to throw a basketball or half a box of Legos in there, KE-X9 would still be alive!
“Well of course they climbed the retaining wall! Did you think to study their evolutionary lineage AT ALL?”
The humans would find a way to use the basketball and legos to escape. I mean one time a guy somehow escaped from a prison in Mexico without breaking any laws so his escape would be legal so honestly given enough time the Jurassic park situation is inevitable.
Jurassic Park would be awesome, but now that I think about it I also kind of love love the idea of humans as the alien zoo equivalent of those octopuses that climb out of their tanks and wander around taste-testing other exhibits or throwing sub-par shrimp at handlers.
Like they’re totally unable to figure out what’s happening because the cameras keep going out, but every night things get moved, or stolen, exhibits are disappearing, WHAT IS GOING ON, they’ve moved facilities twice and it’s still happening, are they haunted, are the ancestors angry, WHAT IS HAPPENING!?
And then a weary humanologist is all ‘… your humans are getting out’.
“That is impossible.”
“They’re getting out.”
“That enclosure is COMPLETELY SECURE.”
“And yet somehow they’re getting out.”
“THE HUMANS ARE NOT GETTING OUT.”
“Oh yeah? I bet you twenty glarks they’re getting out. Stay after closing time with me and I’ll show you.”
*next day*
“… the humans were getting out.”
“… why did they keep going back in, then?!”
(In a deeply embarrassed mumble) “They said they weren’t going to escape until they finished their behavioural experiments. Uh. On us.”
two things come to mind:
1 - at our own zoos the MOST notorious jail breakers are the orangutans, who exploit all manner of methods, including literal lock picking. One orangutan, Ken Allen escaped several times WHILE THE ZOO WAS OPEN TO THE PUBLIC without getting caught by watching Zoo employees, even when they tried to disguise themselves as tourists to catch him at it. While he was being “secretly” surveilled, he managed to escape AND show the other orangutans how to escape. They finally found out he was doing some thought-to-be-impossible rock climbing to escape. To fix it, they brought in a team of human rock-climbers to locate all possible methods of climbing out. So. Humans would absolutely be the worst to try to keep contained. Like, “escape rooms” are currently seen as a fun date idea. I’m sayin.
2 - animals that escape most often return to their own enclosure (after all that’s where their beds and dinners are, and if the zoo is any good it is the place best suited to their species-specific needs for miles and miles) after they have had sufficient excitement. Ken Allen the orangutan would escape and wander around the zoo looking at the animals like he’d bought a ticket. So if the keepers were nice, and formed a bond, and the set up was comfy, once the human knew they could get out if they really wanted, they’d probably go back, depending on how uncomfortable/dangerous the alien environment was.
I mean if they were raised in captivity. Wild-caught humans, all bets are off; depending on age of capture a return home could be a full blown obsession, the sabotage of engineering from mechanisms up to entire facilities is a strong possibility, and they may go on a murder spree with improvised or stolen weapons if desperate.
Humans consider an Escape Room to be a Fun Courtship Ritual
The wild humans thing does depend a LOT on how good the zoo is, IMO. If you, as the alien zookeeper:
“Rescued” humans who weren’t thriving in the wild. (Aka dire medical debt.)
Made sure to take an entire social troop instead of lone individuals. (Your closest friends/family members are there.)
Offered VERY good care and enrichment.
Then I think you’d have at least a PARTIAL chance of your wild humans proving to themselves that they can escape and immediately going, “Okay but the zoo is obviously better.”
Yeah sex is great and all but, have you ever
bodies should have crash logs. why the fuck did that just happen.
reblogs were off
sad middle age woman... save me..
sad middle age woman
save me sad middle age woman

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i would fuck him [remembers im talking about a real person] um [remembers its normal to be attracted to people] i would fuck him
i think being proud of where you come from is one of those things that becomes fun the more specific you get. like "proud to be english" bad rancid vibes. makes you sound like the kind of person who rants about immigrants. "proud to be from yorkshire" better vibes. i cannot deny the yorkshire cultural heritage. "proud to be from pocklington" absolutely fucking hilarious please never let anybody kill your pocklington pride.
i love the USA: weird vibes. dont trust that.
i love muskegon michigan: you are experiencing a kind of personal joy that i can and will not take from you
i feel like whenever people discuss hatsune mikus age its always either "hatsune miku is literally 16 you cant treat her like an adult" or "hatsune miku is a piece of software with no thoughts or feelings you can do whatever" but never the imo more interesting "hatsune miku is a marketing mascot designed to be a virtual idol, what does it say about the idol industry that the people involved considered 16 to be the perfect age to assign her. why do so many vtubers played by adult women have 16 on their profile. why are so many idol anime about highschoolers. can we talk about the contexts and implications please please please please-"
and this isnt a "japan bad lol" thing theres so many characters out there who are functionally treated as adults but designated to be in their late teens. i think the oldest (official) disney princess is like. 21. its a feature of how society at large treats 16-25 as the only viable window of attractiveness yknow. the dicaprio problem. its everywhere once you look for it unfortunately and even characters i love are not exempt from reflecting the bias.
worry about it kitten daddy fucked up
don't worry kitten daddy got it
start worrying kitten daddy fucked up
Bastard tumblr blog: before you go outside to pokemon go, do not forget to uwu and stay safe okay!!!!!!! Fuck you
Me: wadda hell…….. ….bulnosaur

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die die die
It's a pain in the ass, but it's my pain in the ass!