prophetic lunacy

ate a bowl of pasta and now i’m on jello time.

anyway. i think this is all happening because i keep front loading my blood stream with carbs/sugar while dealing with PMOS + IR. like i know if i stopped eating the shit that i’m eating my physical and mental health would improve. and yet i can never seem to get myself to do it! i love sugar.

and because of all of this i can’t write. because i can’t do anything. the motions that i’m going through have never felt more tedious and difficult on a mental or physical level.

i have a therapy appointment on wednesday that i don’t want to go to. it’s not even because of an underlying dread, i just don’t want to do anything at all. any movement/thought/action feels unthinkable/unmanageable.

i’m feeling increasingly more and more dissociated with every passing day. constant headaches and all i want to do is sleep and not have to exist anymore

i have a headache that has a headache that has a headache that has a headache…