some things stay sweet forever

Kermit going: “However-“ and immediately firing a pistol repeatedly is fantastic and my new favorite clap back for literally anything

@bobakick

some pro athlete should for the hell of it go into a post game interview and say “and by the way i just want to say i do NOT believe in god”

some people really do need to start reminding themselves that the answer to "why didn't the character just do [something entirely different]" is often simply "because then there wouldn't be a story"

grace and rocky on the journey to erid having a (marital) spat and grace gets a roll of painters tape and tapes over the floor like newt and hermann in pacific rim and says that's your side of the mary this is my side of the mary. and rocky (trying to start shit) is like well grace didn't tape over the ceiling so if you look at it from rocky perspective i can just go on wall and up and here and whole ship is rocky side of ship. so grace is like oh you think you're so smart huh?? watch this. and tapes a circle around rocky but then rocky JUMPS the ball like flipping a skateboard (radical!!) and grace is like OH SO THAT'S HOW IT IS!!!!! and builds an elaborate tape polyhedron to contain him but rocky "accidentally" knocks it over (rocky didn't touch, statement. grace bad at make model. model fall over. very flimsy. embarrassing). so grace just tapes all over the xenonite ball until rocky is a ball of tape. and rocky (muffled behind tape) is like grace know rocky can still see, right?? tape does nothing. so then grace gets the heavy duty duct tape and tapes his whole ball to the floor (forgetting rocky is 400 pounds) and then rocky rips himself up immediately and goes careening around the ship but he took a whole floor panel with him and now he's picking up socks and pencils and dust and saying disgust. disgust. disgust. and basically grace created an enormous lint roller slash torture chamber. no one wins

Ken was created from Barbie’s rib