Tuulen vaara on olemassa, nukun

Not only did mama raise a quitter, but she also raised a procrastinator, people-pleaser, doormat, coward, and liar, and you can’t put a price on that

I love any variation on the joke of like "able bodied... for now" "not disabled. Yet" etc etc I love that it sounds like a threat and then we get to be like And why is that threatening to you, hmm. Now they feel like kind of a bad person. I am going to break their legs though so that's understandable

Why are you so afraid of having a body like mine, huh? Sounds like you have a lot of biases to unlearn and reflect on what societal ideas you've internalized that make you feel that way <- holding a comically large hammer behind my back

explaining to my doctor that im getting artifacts in my vision but its not like floaters or anything i just keep seeing an ancient staff and a cursed dagger and shit wherever i look

you forget what an insane, insane, insane step forward the ability to ctrl f keyword search digital texts or whole libraries for specific information is until you have to find something in analogue writing

Starting a new sports team called the Tampa Bay Trespassers and they play any sport that they can break onto the field of

Yeah that would be violence disc alright

remember when I made that post that basically said "don't forget about a southern hemisphere when worldbuilding" and a lot of people said "ahhh but what if my fantasy world is flat or shaped like a kia sorento? checkmate I Write What I Want" and then you go and find out that people actually forget that the southern hemisphere exists in real life, like right now here in earth

So half of the fantasy planet needs to be experiencing summer when its winter in the north? Is that the endpoint of this post? An episode of the magic schoolbus?

I don't know what to tell you. Read the post again.

[ Begin ID: Screenshot of tags that read "#these bitches don't know how to read and they wanna write ???? #madre mía" / End ID ]

I go outside regularly

no you don't

okay fine I go outside weirdly

love love love when the mechanic inevitably calls me a day after i drop the hearse off to get fixed, talking in the same cadence as a applebees waitress who is required to pitch you stuff we both know you wont order. "Hey we noticed the door doesnt open from the inside, the hood wont stay open, the lack of horn, the gauge, the lack of a/c, the the. do you want us to... fix Problems? no? ok. also while investigating the thing you actually came in for it somehow fixed itself and we dont know how."

last time i took her in i checked their notes and the car was listed as ""multicolored""

this time i spent 10 minutes in the parking lot of the mechanic prior to dropping off the keys tightening the screws on the three foot long pink radio antenna so it didnt flop around, and other such mild cosmetic repairs. right there in the parking lot so they wouldnt laugh at my beloved hellbeast. it probably didnt work.

id like to hope this is enriching for them after a long day of working on cars made in 2023 who need oil changes and new wiper blades. but in reality they have to hold the hood open themselves and stare at the giant PUSSY WAGON tag on the underside while trying to figure out why this clown car magically fixed itself before their eyes. so. prolly not

entire back of this absolute pinnacle of vehicles is covered in "bumper stickers" which are all drawn on in marker. spray paint abounds on the exterior. one time a girl left her phone number on my windshield because "i also have autism". if you turn on the defrosters it fogs all radio signal. no airco in 100 degree climate. theres a cb radio to talk about drugs with truckers while cruising on I-20. the steering column is held together with a single ziptie. i bought it from a funeral home and it came with casket wrenches. i would fuck this car if it could consent and the two of us will never die

it happened again you guys i picked him back up and the head mech handed me the keys and just said "i love my chemical romance" . and then the engine overheated on the way home because they managed to fuck up their ONE JOB

some shitass stole one of my hubcaps last night.... FOR WHY?? its a grand marquis thats my age its not a fucking benz . heres the thing they also loosened a tire and fucked up my suspension so i think they were actually trying to steal a tire and couldnt figure it out and gave up . two factor authentication (you have to punch it a little)

in seven years of ownership ive never changed the brake pads. it takes forever to brake. but last year i took it to Brake Store and they said "no actually your brakes are fine they dont need new pads and nothing is wrong" and i said "no offense but I Do Not Believe You"