I’ve Lost Literally All Control Over My Own Life

to thousands of people making phony images and replying to them with their passionate desire to have them as a tshirt to overload the bots with nonsense and junk and send out warnings to shoppers like this:

and now we even have people replying to pictures of baby yoda with “i want this on a tshirt” knowing how ravenous disney is being with copyright in hopes to get the stores taken down altogether

Alright so at the university I went to there was this charity event where one of the ways to give to charity was to pay to have people put into this jail they built for an hour.

One fateful year they had a visiting weekend scheduled during the week of the charity thing (honestly very poorly timed cause half the classes I went to had the professors arrested so I didn't get to actually go to the classes). On Friday afternoon, I had a bit of a break in my schedule and was hanging out near the jail.

Now the thing about the jail is everybody breaks out of it whenever they get the chance. And at this time, the jail was positively packed. One if the people in the jail was a professor who was also a priest. This spry priest grabbed two boards, leapt into the air and swung back down slamming his feet into another board smashing it down. Everybody started running

Throughout the day, I had been aiding various people in their escape attempts but this time I decided to play the other side. I pushed my way in, hugged the bars on either side of the one that had been pushed out, and clung for dear life. People pushed from the inside, pulled from the outside, but nobody could get me off. I had become one with the jail wall and nobody would get past me.

At this point I would like you to recall that priest who started this jail break. He also wanted to get me off to complete the escape he had started but seeing everyone else's physical attempts fail, decided upon a different tactic. He came up behind me and tickled me. Years of growing up with a large catholic family's worth of siblings took over. I now only had one focus. Stop. The. Tickling. This quickly translated into sending my elbow flying back, directly into the priest's stomach.

asexuals’ relationship with sex and sexual attraction tends to be….complicated. there’s a bit of an idea of like, oh of course, you’re either sex-favorable, sex-neutral, or sex-repulsed, but honestly i see a LOT of discussion about how wildly different those can each look for each individual. some people are comfortable with some acts in very specific contexts, and deeply upset by them in all others. some people find certain forms of nonsexual intimacy (like kissing) to still be off-limits, while something most people might consider more charged (like nudity) is totally fine. a lot of us just kind of have a long laundry list like “this is fine, this isn’t, that one’s okay, that one’s always off-limits….” because the big secret is that “sex” isn’t really any cohesive act as much as a lot of little things that people just threw together and called one thing.

as for attraction: some aces are actually attracted to other people once in a blue moon, and simply don’t want to clarify that every time. some aren’t entirely sure, but don’t want to spend their whole lives guessing. some ARE completely sure they never have and never will feel an attraction.

Interviewer: What do you think about starting an initiative on campus here at UK, to be more inclusive to women who have penises? So we can put urinals in the womens restroom for them.

Student: Sounds fantastic.

Interviewer: Oh, does it?

Student: Yeah.

Interviewer: What about- Let’s take it one step closer, y'know more- for inclusivity here on campus, but free tampons and pads in the mens restroom for men who have periods?

Student: Sounds great.

Interviewer: Ok- You dont see anything wrong with those statements?

Student: No.

Interviewer: What men do you know with periods?

Student: I generally use- ones like in Willy T* have pads, I use them pretty often.

bennett: so do you think we should put tampons and pads in the men’s restroom? dude: sure, I mean, I don’t really care. if a dude needs a tampon, he can have one. bennett: but would he need one? like, what would he use it for? dude, thoroughly unimpressed: I don’t know, that’s his problem.

1) The word translated as “forbidden” is “toevah.” While that translation isn’t … wrong, it’s sort of like saying “McMansion” means “really big house.” There are a lot of connotations in that word. The specific issue with toevah is that we … sort of … don’t know anymore exactly what it meant. Based on context, it seems likely that the word referred to something ritually forbidden. This part of Torah was written not only as a guide for future generations, but also to say “so, look around, see your neighbors? DON’T DO THAT.“ Thus, if we interpret “toevah” to mean something that’s forbidden to do as a ritual before G-d, then the verse says nothing whatsoever about Adam and Steve and their two kids and their dog–it’s saying you shouldn’t have sex with another man in the Temple as a sacrifice.

2) Following the same “this is ritually forbidden” logic of toevah, this verse may also be interpreted as “don’t do sex magic,” which was a thing in. Like. A lot of fucking cultures at the time.

3) Hebrew is a highly gendered language, and the grammatical gender in this verse is really really weird. One of the “men” in this verse is given female grammar. Why? Who fucking knows, man, this isn’t the only grammatical oddity in Torah. (There are also places where G-d is referred to as plural, and also as female.) One suggestion is that this is a way of creating a diminutive–that is, that the verse should be read as “a man should not lie with a boy.” Now, it’s worth noting that modern secular scholarship has concluded the written Torah was written down around the 6th century BCE, and most non-Orthodox Jewish scholars are like “yeah, all things considered, that sounds pretty legit.”

Do you know what else was happening around the 6th century BCE? What laypeople tend to mean when they say “ancient Greece” was happening.

Do you know what happened a lot in that time period in Greece? Dudes forming relationships with younger boys, like ages 10-15, and using them for sex in exchange for financial gifts, mentorship, etc. While we don’t know just how young some of these younger boys may have been, we do know some were prepubescent. In light of this, and also something I mentioned under the first point–”see your neighbors? DON’T DO THAT,” if this verse is interpreted to say “a man should not lie with a boy,” then it’s pretty clearly “my dudes, my fellows, my lads, don’t be fucking pedophiles.”

4) Because of the grammar I mentioned in #3, it’s also possible that “should not lie with a man as with a woman” is actually referring to a place, not an abstract personhood: a man shouldn’t have sex with another man in a woman’s bed. In the time period, a woman’s bed was sort of like–that was her place, her safe sanctuary. It was also a ritually holy place where babies were made. By having sex in her bed, you’re violating her safe space (and also introducing a man who may not be a male relative, thus forcing her into breaking the laws of modesty). If this verse is read this way, then it should be taken to mean “don’t sexually violate a woman’s safety and modesty.” 5) And as an offshoot of #4, this may be a second verse relating to infidelity. Which woman’s bed is any random dude in 600 BCE most likely to have access to? His wife’s. But laws were administered differently based on whether the person they pertained to was slave or free, male or female, and so on–thus, a man committing adultery with a woman would be treated differently than man committing adultery with a man (especially because the latter would carry no chance of an illegitimate pregnancy).

1. Any book you want

2. Don’t read books you don’t want to read

3. That’s it

you....