the count talking to the gang in bram stokerโs dracula
noise dept.
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@read-and-be-merry
the count talking to the gang in bram stokerโs dracula

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Iโve seen the meme too many times but all I could think about when reading this:
Was this:
looks for climbing vertically down the walls of your house
[ID:
Image 1: Screenshot of the opening of the May 15th entry of the novel Dracula by Bram Stoker. It reads
15 May.--Once more have I seen the Count go out in his lizard fashion. He
Image 2: A fashion image board titled "lizard fashion." It includes a suit jacket with a shiny green-to-purple pearlescent scale pattern on it. A matching tie. A pair of latex pants with a matching pearlescent scale pattern. A blue tee-shirt with a chameleon shooting its tongue out printed on it. Two green lizards intertwined as a ring. A matching ring with blue lizards instead. A black bag designed to look like a chameleon, shown both on its own and shown dangled next to a leg to demonstrate that it's a bag. Finally, two actual lizards are added to fill in blank space by the jacket sleeve and pant leg.
/end ID]
I know that this design is based on the original book cover and honestly thank God because if it wasnโt ugly I would be SO sad that my favorite bag and favorite book were combined and also cost $5,000.
(Itโs now sold out. Didnโt know there were so many rich people who are both Dior AND Dracula enthusiasts?)

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Johnathan Harker: Oh my God, I am a prisoner in this wretched castle! Nothing but prey for that bewildering Dracula fellow! There is no hope for me but to pray I arise no suspicion in Dracula so I may delay the inevitable.
Dracula, washing Johnathanโs dishes: This is going great. Iโm gonna get a good grade in being human, which is both normal to want and possible to achieve.
(does anyone even use the โboth normal to want and possible to achieveโ meme anymore? Oh, wellโฆ itโs an older post. I will preserve it. ^_^ )
Dracula's blog: Reasons My Solicitor Is Crying
29/6, 10:00 PM - He wants to go outside, where there are wolves.
29/6, 10:01 PM - I opened the door to demonstrate that there are wolves. Now he wants to stay inside.
It's my 11 year anniversary on Tumblr ๐ฅณ YIKES ๐
Howdy y'all, I'm Quincey Morris and this is my friend Jonathan Harker, welcome to our unboxing video,
The lesson I learned from Dracula:
As soon as shit starts happening, start keeping diaries. All of you.
And you MUST let all of your friends read them, and you theirs. This is critical.

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vote for me and ill make a five hour long book accurate dracula film. yes i will include jonathan hitting dracula in the face with a shovel
Running to the polls!
Doctor Abraham Van Helsing, freshly arrived through the door:
"My friend John, when the corn is grown, even before it has ripenedโwhile the milk of its mother-earth is in him, and the sunshine has not yet begun to paint him with his gold, the husbandman he pull the ear and rub him between his rough hands, and blow away the green chaff, and say to you: 'Look! he's good corn; he will make good crop when the time comes."
Jack Seward:
Totally forgot that today is the best day in Dracula Daily, the day where Van Helsing gaily plonks Seward down in front of the woman who rejected him and goes โSee this guy? No bitches. Absolutely none. Zero swag. Valuable work he does, sure, but what does he know about chicks? Fuck all, Lucy. Fuck all. I told my students the same thing. This dude is the antithesis of sexual intelligence.โ
Iconic!
Seward is dictating his diary into a phonograph, which means he is definitely doing a Van Helsing impression
Count Dracula:
Mina:

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CON: youโre also Dracula
@voivode-dracula last night