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@vaezthewanderer
Meanwhile, in Switzerland.
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Cyborg: I can interface with satellites that allow me to perceive and measure countless electric signals and waves flying through space and the atmosphere. I can listen to the sun, live. But sure, letâs all freak out because Beast Boy just figured out he can see shrimp colors.
Beast Boy: Cranky âcuz you canât see shrimp colors, arenât ya?
Raven, not even looking up from her book: Tch. I can see shrimp colors too, itâs just thereâs no way for me to see them without also perceiving 13 overlapping hell dimensions at the same time.
Beast Boy: Wh⌠what?
Cyborg: Seconded. What?
Raven: Oh itâs all âRaven why donât you talk about yourself moreâ until I mention the âEveryoneâs face is peeled offâ dimension.
@stammed-cleams You. You get it.
Robin, who canât see shit through his white mesh mask:Â
Iâm watching Pingu right now and wow how did I forget that Pingu once tried to recreate the Tower of Babel.
Would love to hear the Vaticanâs opinions on this.
they are animals, and thus free of sin. In fact, doctrinally, animals give glory to God merely by existing so. Pinguâs fine
But by creating a tower tall enough to reach Godâs kingdom, would they achieve sin?
âAt one famous trial in Autun, France, in 1522, some rats were charged with feloniously eating and wantonly destroying the provinceâs barley crop and so were ordered to appear in court. â if rats can commit crimes, penguins can sin
Thatâs French courts though. France is a perversion of every law, moral, or truth known to man or heaven.
Iâll never understand why anthropomorphic animal cartoons like Robin Hood and Zootopia will go to the trouble of creating character designs that are meant to be understood as âattractiveâ or even âsexyâ to the human audience but explicitly avoid showing interspecies romances between anthropomorphic animals. Why is THAT weird but, like, trying to make rabbits recognizably sexy-coded to humans isnât?
Sometimes, sure, but why was Maid Marian a fox in Robin Hood? There wasnât anything particularly âfoxlikeâ about her personality, and it would make more sense for her to be a lion. They made her a fox only because Robin was a fox and making her something else would be âweirdâ, but I donât think the wolf cop or the chicken maid or the lion prince were actually meant to represent race.
The best inter species couple is Kermit and Miss Piggy as the Cratchits in A Muppet Christmas Carol, because all their sons are frogs and all their daughters are pigs, as God clearly intended.
there are only two genders: frog and pig
Iâve pointed out to my friends that the fact that Kermit and Miss Piggyâs kids are like that means either
1) they reproduce asexually and the children are clones of each parent OR
2) Kermit and Miss Piggy are members of the same sexually dimorphic species, hence the split between their male and female children
yes I have spent too long running about potential muppet biology
oh god
Third option, when they want kids they get some fabric and make one, and hope a Hand inhabits it
Do you think thereâs a ritual for inviting An Inhabiting Hand to possess the empty husk of your muppet baby?
Just wanted to show u guys that in Muppets Most Wanted, Piggy fantasizes about her and Kermit having babies and this is what they look like
So do with that what you will
Recall that in The Great Muppet Caper, Kermit and Fozzie are brothers. And this was their dad (right):
Thank you for specifying, which one of the two individuals in the picture was the dad haha
I, for one, think Shrek handled interspecies coupling the best. By this I am of course talking about the Dronkeys.
In season 3 of BoJack Horseman, we learn Diane (middle) has been impregnated by Mr. Peanutbutter (left). The fetuses are confirmed to be puppies.
This is the worst addition to this post
I am reminded of Treasure Planet.
In which Captain Amelia (left), an extra terrestrial anthropomorphic cat, had hybrid babies with Doctor Doppler (middle), an extra terrestrial anthropomorphic dog, whom also gave birth to the babies
I always thought that in muppet movies like muppet Christmas Carol the characters are played by the muppets (so kermit is acting and playing the role of Bob rather than being him) so the kids in that film would just be other acting muppets right?
Or is that just something my brain made up?
Last time I saw this post (YESTERDAY) it stopped at the second Eggman
Last time I saw this
post (YESTERDAY) it stopped at
the second Eggman
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
anyone in this thread smoke weed
In Leo the Lion (2005) a lion and elephant have the most cursed hybrid children and I think yall should see them
(also Matt Mercer voices the villain, Maximus Elefante and I think thatâs very important)
trans bears are literally stronger than any US marine
How on earth would they be able to tell that a bear is trans. Iâm not saying they canât be but how would they communicate that.
:/
this is so fucking funny
update:
we the jury find the defendant not guilty your honor

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Canât risk it
The duck of creativity. I waited so long for it.
My tombstone is gonna read âMehâŚIâve had worse.â
Source More Facts
Yes this could have to do with the fact that Freya the Norse Goddess of love, beauty and fertility drove a chariot pulled by cats.
So, if I ever get married, I fully expect a catmobile.Â
One of the other reasons why they gave cats to each other was for their valuable skills as mousers. Cats were able to control rodent populations around their properties.
Also, Norse myths are thought to have the earliest literary descriptions of the Norwegian Forest Cat. They were described as large, strong cats that drew Freyaâs chariot and were so heavy that not even Thor, God of Thunder, could lift them from the floor. (Source)
They kinda live up to the legend, too. Your average Norwegian Forest Cat is twenty pounds of solid muscle, with claws large and strong enough to climb solid rock. Theyâve been known to attack bears when defending their territory. And yet theyâre one of the cuddliest breeds out there, particularly noted for being patient with small children.
I have a Norwegian mix, and can attest that she is the cuddliest cat but also insane enough to try and fight a bear.
Viking cats âFIGHT MEâ
10/10 can confirm. I had one, and he was the sweetest lap cat - but he also tore into a German Shepherd and a Great Dane, and won.
Is Russia even real
I think it is necessary for me to transcribe what sheâs saying because it is EXACTLY how I babytalk to my cat:
âOh Stepa! So little â little Stepa! My little kiss, whereâs my little kiss?? Where are my little fingers? Where are my little legs? Where are my little paws? Stepa!â *shakes his paw* âSay hello! Hello my little one! Hello!â *lies down on him* âOh how nice, how warm. Good boyâŚâ
to be clear, this bear is named the russian equivalent of âsteveâ
so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god
okay so i just got my dream job??? a week after applying to it?? and now iâm thinkingâŚ.maybe this is the good luck post
âŚ..not even six hours later i got an offer of a well paying full time long-term job with free room and board in queens in nyc, allowing me independence and a way to escape an abusive situation and an unhealthy environment
likes charge reblogs cast, folks, this is the good luck post

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Iâll cop to being, at best, a casual anime fan and an incidental nintendo fan like some sort of goose that got lost on migration and decided to stay for the catchy musical score but Iâve had a thought thatâs been making me laugh for like 20 min now:
Replacing any Shonen Protagonist with Legend of Zeldaâs Protagonist Horrible Klepto Gremlin and Professional Fightboy, Link.
Doesnât matter which link beyond âwhatâs funniest in this particular scenarioâ. Maybe a specific Link, maybe an amalgamation of all Links into a superpowered multidimensional agent of Chaos. A HyperLink, if you will.
Then plop that bad boy down into the start of any Shonen anime and watch it go completely off the rails.
Juevenile Delinquent With A Heart Of Gold Link (really, could you imagine Link in a middle school setting? not for more than five minutes before he jumps out of the Designated Protagonist Window at the back of the classroom) dives in front of a car to save a small childâs life. Botan, the grim reaper in the form of a blue-haired anime hot chick, comes to explain his peculiar situation, only for him to get up halfway through the speech about Karma becuase he still, somehow, has half a heart left, baffling everyone.
Local Weirdo Link hangs out in a graveyard every night graverobbing Communing With The Spirits, until Some Nerd keeps getting him into weird situations and eventually he ends up on a plane to America to participate in some kind of tournament for godhood. They get all the way to the third round before anyone realized Link doesnât have a spirit companion, heâs his own Kickass Sword Dude.
Famously Young Orphan Link attempts an arcane ritual to bring his mother back, only to be confronted with a Manifestation of all Knowledge In The Universe, who then attempts to take his limbs and a sibling. Link, who has kicked several gods and the actual spacetime continum in the dick before, does not stand for this Malarkey
Chronically Ill superhero Toshionori Yagi is looking for someone to take up the quirk One For All and is impressed by the courage of a young maniac attempting to protect the people of the town from a monstrous villain whilst armed with a pointed stick, and takes him on as his apprentice. Link, surprised to be starting with the Triforce of Power this time, is agreeable to this, and attends superhero high school in hopes of locating the triforces of Courage and Wisdom.
Related question: Is Link Literate? I know him through fragmentary playthroughs of Breath of The Wild, the one with the bird, and the one with the boat and I honestly donât know if he can read.
Professional Monster Ass-Kicker and Sword Collector Link arrives in The Seritei and promptly goes after the Tall Dude With The Elaborate Hair That Monolouges About Power on the assumption heâs found Ganondorf again, and gives Zaraki Kenpachi the fight of his life.
The residents of the Village hidden in the lead poisoning Leaves avoid the blond boy with the rap sheet of misdemeanors a mile long and constant nonsensical yelling, assuming his strange ways are due to the fox spirit the previous Mayor of Murdertown stuffed into his intestines as a baby. Several Hundred Episodes, a completely destroyed chunin exam and a lot of screaming later, Kyubei comments âNo, heâs Just Like That.â
Seto Kaiba, Professional Rich Bitch: âITâS TIME TO DUEL!!â Seto Kaiba, about to learn what Consquences are ââŚWhat are you doing with that sword?â
The only Shonen Anime Link doesnât completely send off the rails one way or another is the orginal Dragonball, becuase accepting an extensive and bizzare fetchquest from a random blue-haired chick is 100% in-character for any and all Links.
shounen anime is all well and good, but have you considered the following?
chronic vase-breaker link breaks a vase, and is subsequently hounded by six attractive people who need him to flirt with women in order to pay back his debt
1. Link is, apparently, Literate. This is a tremendous surprise to me.
2. You, my good personage, are a GENIUS, becuase somehow Link âAdeventure Is My Middle Nameâ McStabbington somehow screw up every shonen anime but stays weirdly on-track for shoujo. For instance:
A Cat hands some Magical Bling that gives the wearer a kickass outfit to Link in exchange for him dealing with some monsters and making some similarly exctingly dressed friends. Link canât actually pronounce âMoon Prism Power Make Up!â but âHYAAAHGH!!â seems to get the Job done. This is honestly a pretty typical Teusday for Link.
Local Homeless Weirdo Link is chilling out in the woods when a mudslide happens to his stuff, and local highschoolers take pity on him and invite him into thier mansion, only for him to discover thier terrible curse- if theyâre hugged by someone of the âoppositeâ gender, theyâre transfomed into an animal from the chinese Zodiac. Shenanigans Ensue when Link, the universeâs Most Androgynous Twink Who Only Knows Gender By Reputation, completely screws up that Dynamic as whether or not the individual changes comes down to what Gender they percive Link as. Fortunately for them Link is like. So Good at breaking Curses.
Chronic Ancient Library Looter Link opens up a cool-looking book becuase apparently he can read, and like, a zillion cards and a very irritable stuffed animal fly out of it. The Loud Toy demands he find all the cards again, and fortunately for Keroberos, Link is The Best as insane Fetch Quests.
Someone sends Horrible Goblin Child Link off to a prestigious Boarding School in an attempt to domesticate him, but True Cross Academy has a secret: The Night Class is Vampires that are attending school for some godforsaken reason! Masochism, probably. Can The Human and Vampire Classes ever really live together? The answer is a resounding YES after both band together in terror against the explosives-happy, sword-carrying, urn-smashing, shrieking weirdo that just enrolled.Â
The only Shoujo that Link immediately Derails is the one where a weird critter with a cute sing-song voice attempts to get him to maka contract. Link, no stranger to dulicitous creepy little things, immediately shanks Kyubey for the XP.
End of an era
F
F
Thank you, Prima Games, for the Pokemon Ruby/Sapphire guide.
Thank you.
f
the internet killed you years ago but you struggled on admirably
*one minor inconvenience happens*Â
I am so ready for the first of Halloween.
Give a ghost the right pair of shoes and theyâll conquer the world.
Super hot where I am today, so have a summer spook.
Send me pics of your ghost costumes :>Â
Why is everyone into dom ghosts�
Theyâre single and ready to mingle~
if I ever reblog a long as shit post, itâs this
sorry
notreally
Itâs ONLY October 1st and already yâall are reblogging the weird shit!!???
Stop it right now
Okay, so hereâs the story about the pumpkins:
My friend got married yesterday and we missed the wedding because of work but we made it to the reception. Because its mid-September and the reception was in a nature center (awesome!) there was a little bit of a fall theme. Not overbearingly, but the tables all had these tiny pumpkins.Â
So theyâre cleaning up at the end of it and weâre still hanging out because we havenât seen these people in forever and we can talk until three in the morning when we get together. All of a sudden, the Maid of Honor hands us a tiny pumpkin.Â
âTake one.â
âUm⌠okay?â
âTake another.â
ââŚ.?â
âIt is my duty as Maid of Honor to make sure that the guests leave with an uncomfortable number of tiny pumpkins.â
So it turns out that sheâd gotten a bunch of them for a Halloween party last year and after the party was over her mom threw them into the compost heap thinking that would be the end of it. But what she didnât seem to realize was that if you put pumpkins in a compost heap- it grows more pumpkins. It grows pumpkins exponentially. Serious mathematical anomaly pumpkins.Â
So this year she has even more tiny pumpkins and she figured it would be a good idea to have them as decor for the reception. BUT- she would still have to throw them out at the end of the day and no matter where you throw them you are doomed to have a ridiculous amount of tiny pumpkins growing SOMEWHERE at your fault.Â
So everyone left with at least two tiny pumpkins and thatâs how we made friends with the Maid of Honor.Â
So I forgot about it and then the next morning I woke up and found these two tiny pumpkins in my purse and had a puzzling moment of âwhat?â
We were invited to the Maid of Honorâs house the other day so we could:
take some of the flowers off her hands
help with some post-wedding stuff
watch the presidential debate
play Clue for like three hours
drink a lot of booze.Â
And there are just⌠tiny pumpkins EVERYWHERE.
They were in the bathroom.
At the end of the night, I counted 26 tiny pumpkins, and that was just what I could see.Â
It happened again.
Three pumpkins ended up in my purse this time.Â
One of them has a face.Â
I need to stop drinking with this woman.Â
this is getting out of hand.
Okay so I finally had a day off and decided that the best way to handle the pumpkin situation was to eat them and muffins sounded fucking fantastic. But I found out really fast that most recipes call for a âcanâ of pureed pumpkin and I donât have a scale to go by. So I figured that I had six pumpkins, it would probably amount to something like one can, right?
Well⌠no.Â
It ended up being something like two and a half cans-ish. And thatâs a really rough estimate. Turns out thereâs a lot more meat on those things than you think thereâd be. So I figured I could do something like double it and then make a half batch.Â
But then I ran out of sugar. I mis-measured the baking soda. I only had whole cloves, so I had to grind them down and had to estimate how much I needed. I couldnât find the liquid measure.
Iâm mixing up this giant bowl of pumpkin batter goo thinking shit shit shit this is going to be a mess. Thereâs no way anyone is going to be able to eat these things. And thereâs no muffin cups. But I already made it this far and Iâm stubborn as hell so in the oven they go.Â
I⌠kind of⌠forgot about them? Woops!
Place starts smelling like Yankee Candle and Iâm like SHIT. Get over to the oven andâŚÂ
theyâreâŚÂ
âŚ.somehow perfect?
Maybe a little dry, but theyâre fucking delicious. Fucking magic pumpkins. Truly I am a witch.Â
So the moral of the story is that if life gives you tiny pumpkins, make them into muffins and give them right back.Â
Also roast the seeds because hell yeah.Â
Happy Halloween, everyone!
Weâve found her in real life guys
An actul fictional character in real life
she even baked with them
This is not the only evidence posed to me that I might, in fact, be a fictional character.Â
It got better

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sorry if iâm being a party pooper but because rabies is apparently the new joke on here ??? please remember that rabies has an almost 100% fatality rate after symptoms develop so if youâre bitten or scratched by an animal that you arenât 100% sure is vaccinated then GO TO A DOCTOR. itâs not a joke. really.Â
Youâre being kind when you say âalmost 100% fatalityâ. What people need to hear is: if you get to develop rabies symptoms, youâre dead. If you get heavy treatment after developping symptoms, you still need a miracle. Like, a real miracle, you should enter some religion if you escape that.
ALSO, I donât want people feeling confident about petting stray/wild animals because thereâs a vaccine available, either. Iâll explain why from my own experience (Iâm not a doctor).
I got bitten by a wild tamarin once, on the pulp of my index finger. It drew blood, there are many wild animals in the area (tamarins, possums, bats, foxes) and it isnât that uncommon to hear about 1 or 2 rabies cases every now and again (a puppy we gave to a friend got it, for instance), so I went to an ambulatory immediately.
Because I was bitten in an ultrasensitive area, I needed fast treatment. But it was also a small area, so the usual thing they do - inject the vaccine in the place - wasnât a choice. They told me theyâd divide the shot in 5 small ones, and inject me all over my body, so the antidote would get to my entire system fast.
Please stop for a moment and think that the disease is so worrysome that theyâd rather needle me all over than to give me one shot and wait until it spread through my system.
Then they said that, okay, but there was a catch first. I needed to take an antiallergic shot. âWhy?â âBecause the virus is devastating, and as the vaccine is made from it, but weakened (like almost every vaccine) it will still create a reaction, and itâs a strong one, and itâs veru common for people to have strong allergic reactions to it.â YOU HAVE TO TAKE AN ANTIALLERGIC SHOT IN ORDER TO TAKE THE VACCINE COZ THE VACCINE COULD POTENTIALLY MAKE YOU REALLY SICK
ALSO IT WASNâT JUST âA LITTLE ANTIALLERGIC SHOTâ
IT WAS ONE OF THESE FUCKERS HERE.
It was OBVIOUSLY dripped in my body and not injected because HAHAHAHA. Truth be told I was an adult already and Iâm tall so I have a lot of mass but STILL.
So after I had taken the antiallegic and was starting to feel drowsy (as a side effect of it) the doctor came with the 5 shots.
- One in each buttock
- One in each thigh
- One in my left arm
They all stung like a bitch and I usually donât care about shots.
âOkay so can I go home now?â
âNo, we have to keep you under observation for 2h so weâre SURE the vaccine wonât give you any reaction.â
BINCH I WAS GIVEN A BUTTLOAD OF MEDICINE BUT THERE WAS STILL A RISK.
I slept through the two hours and then was liberated to go home. My legs, butt, and left arm hurt all over, like I had been punched there, for a few days. I also had a fever (not feverish, a fever)
BUT DID YOU THINK IT WAS OVER?
WRONG!!!
I had to take four reinforcement shots in the next month, one a week, so I could be positively be considered immunized. Every time I took a shot, my arm would swell and hurt like itâd been hit, and when night came Iâd have a fever. Because thatâs how fucking strong the vaccine is, BECAUSE THATâS HOW VICIOUS THE VIRUS IS.
So yeah. DO NOT PUT YOURSELF IN RISK, GODDAMNIT. Rabies is a rare condition all over, THANK GOD, and 1 confirmed case can be already considered a surge and a reason for mass campaigning, AND FOR A REASON.
If you like messing with stray/wild animals, donât go picking them up and be extra careful. Or just, like, DONâT - call a vet or an authority that can handle them safely.
I must add that I live in a country with universal healthcare, so I didnât pay a single penny for my treatment. Is this your reality? If not, ONE MORE REASON TO NOT FUCKING PLAY WITH THIS SHIT.
Rabies is 100% lethal. Period. If you are scratched or bitten by an animal youâre not positive is vaccinated, you need to find treatment NOW. And probably go through all that shit Iâve been through (also if you are immunosupressed? I DONâT KNOW WHATâD HAPPEN)
Stay safe and donât be stupid ffs
Guys, I know this isnât art nor anything like that, but Iâve been hearing about this rabies thing and ???? Look I trust none of you would risk yourselves like this, but maybe you can educate someone through my experience and stuff.
Also rabies does not necessarily cause frothing-at-the-mouth aggression in animals. Docility is also a very common symptom so any wild animal that is âfriendlyâ or âlikes to be petâ is suspect. Literally any wild animal is a vector.
Finally, you donât need to be bitten. All you need is to come into contact with an infected animalâs bodily fluids through a cut that maybe you didnât notice when you were handling it when it drooled on you.
Never touch a wild animal.
Infection with the rabies virus progresses through three distinct stages.
Prodromal: Stage One. Marked by altered behavioral patterns. âDocilityâ and âlikes to be petâ are very common in the prodromal stage. Usually lasts 1-3 days. An animal in this stage carries virus bodies in its saliva and is infectious.
Excitative: Stage Two. Also called âfuriousâ rabies. This is what everyone thinks rabies isâhyperreacting to stimuli and biting everything. Excessive salivation occurs. Animals in this stage also exhibit hydrophobia or the fear of water; they cannot drink (swallowing causes painful spasms of the throat muscles), and will panic if shown water. Usually lasts 3-4 days before rapidly progressing into the next stage.
Paralytic: Stage Three. Also called âdumbâ rabies. As the infection runs its course, the virus starts degrading the nervous system. Limbs begin to fail; animals in this stage will often limp or drag their haunches behind them. If the animal has survived all this way, death will usually come through respiratory arrest: Their diaphragm becomes paralyzed and they stop breathing.
And to add onto the above, saliva isnât the only infectious fluid. Brain matter is, too. If, somehow, you find yourself in possession of a firearm and faced with a rabid animal, do not go for a head shot. If you do, you will aerosolize the brain matter and effectively create a cloud of infectious material. Breathe it in, and youâll give yourself an infection.
When I worked in wildlife rehabilitation, I actually did see a rabid animal in person, and it remains one of the most terrifying experiences of my life, because I was literally looking death in the eyes.
A pair of well-intentioned women brought us a raccoon that they thought had been hit by a car. They had found it on the side of the road, dragging its hind legs. They managedâsomehowâto get it into a cat carrier and brought it to us.Â
As they brought it in, I remember how eerily silent it was. Normal raccoons chatter almost constantly. They fidget. They bump around. They purr and mumble and make little grabby-hands at everything. Even when theyâre in pain, and especially when theyâre stressed. But this one wasnât moving around inside the carrier, and it wasnât making a sound.
The clinic director also noticed this, and he asked in a calm but urgent voice for the women to hand the carrier to him. He took it to the exam room and set it on the table while they filled out some forms in the next room. I took a step towards the carrier, to look at our new patient, and without turning around, he told me, âGo to the other side of the room, and stay there.â
He took a small penlight out of the drawer and shone it briefly into the carrier, then sighed. âBear, if you want to come look at this, you can put on a mask,â he said. âItâs really pretty neat, but I know youâre not vaccinated and I donât want to take any chances.âÂ
And at that point, I knew exactly what we were dealing with, and I knew that this would be the closest I had ever been to certain death. So I grabbed a respirator from the table and put it on, and held my breath for good measure as I approached the table. The clinic director pointed where I should stand, well back from the carrier door. He shone the light inside again, and I saw two brilliant flashes of emerald greenâthe most vivid, unnatural eyeshine I had ever seen.Â
âI donât know why it does it,â the director murmured, âbut it turns their eyes green.â
âWhat does?â one of the women asked, with uncanny, unintentionally dramatic timing, as she poked her head around the corner.
âRabies,â the director said. âThe raccoon is rabid. Did it bite either of you, or even lick you?â They told us no, said they had even used leather garden gloves when they herded it into the carrier. He told them to throw away the gloves as soon as possible, and steam-clean the upholstery in their car. They asked how they should clean the cat carrier; they wanted it back and couldnât be convinced otherwise, so he told them to soak it in just barely diluted bleach.
But before we could give them the carrier back, we had to remove the raccoon. The rabid raccoon.
The clinic director readied a syringe with tranquilizers and attached it to the end of a short pole. I donât remember how it was rigged exactlyâwhether he had a way to push down the plunger or if the needle would inject with pressureâbut all he would have to do was stick the animal to inject it. And so, after sending me and the women back to the other side of the room, he made his fist jab.
He missed the raccoon.
The sound that that animal made on being brushed by the pole can only be described as a roar. It was throaty and ragged and ungodly loud. It was not a sound that a raccoon should ever make. Iâm convinced it was a sound that a raccoon physically could not make.Â
It thrashed inside the carrier, sending it tipping from side to side. Its claws clattered against the walls. It bellowed that throaty, rasping sound again. It was absolutely frenzied, and I was genuinely scared that it would break loose from inside those plastic walls.Â
Somehow, the clinic director kept his calm, and as the raccoon jolted around inside the cat carrier, he moved in with the syringe again, and this time, he hit it. He emptied the syringe into its body and withdrew the pole.
And then we waited.
We waited for those awful screams, that horrible thrashing, to die down. As we did, the director loaded up another syringe with even more tranquilizer, and as the raccoon dropped off into unconsciousness, he stuck it a second time with the heavier dose. Even then, it growled at him and flailed a paw against the wall.
More waiting, this time to make sure the animal was truly down for the count.
Then, while wearing welderâs gloves, the director opened the door of the carrier and removed the raccoon. She was limp, bedraggled, and utterly emaciated, but she was still alive. We bagged up the cat carrier and gave it to the women again, advising them that now was a good time to leave. They heeded our warning.
I asked if I could come closer to see, and the clinic director pointed where I could stand. I pushed the mask up against my face and tried to breathe as little as possible.
He and his co-directorâwho I think he was grooming to be his successor, but the clinic actually went under later that yearâexamined the raccoon together. Donning a pair of nitrile gloves, he reached down and pulled up a handful, a literal fistful, of the raccoonâs skin and released it. It stayed pulled up.
Severe dehydration causes a phenomenon called âskin tentingâ. The skin loses its elasticity somewhat, and will be slow to return to its ânormalâ shape when manipulated. The clinic director estimated that it had been at least four or five days since the raccoon had had anything to eat or drink.Â
She was already on deathâs doorstep, but her rabies infection had driven her exhausted body to scream and lunge and bite.Â
Because, the scariest thing about rabies (if you ask me) is the way that it alters the behavior of those it infects to increase chances of spreading.Â
The prodromal stage? Nocturnal animals become diurnalâallowing them to potentially infect most hosts than if they remained nocturnal.Â
The excitative stage? The infected animal bites at the slightest provocation. Swallowing causes painful spasms, so they drool, coating their bodies in infectious matter. A drink could wash away the virus-charged saliva from their mouth and bodies, so the virus drives them to panic at the sight of water.
(The paralytic stage? By that point, the animal has probably spread its infection to new hosts, so the virus has no need for it any longer.)
Rabies is deadly. Rabies is dangerous. In all of recorded history, one person survived an infection after she became symptomatic, and so far we havenât been able to replicate that success. The Milwaukee Protocol hasnât saved anyone else. Just one person. And even then, she still had to struggle to gain back control of her body after all that nerve damage.
Please, please, take rabies seriously.
This has been a warning from your old pal Bear.
I knew how bad it was, but I had never read anything like the raccoon story.
I am not exaggerating when I say that is literally terrifying.
Y'all please read this. That is absolutely hideous. Thatâs literally like something from a horror movie.
Do not fuck around with wildlife. Or weird strays.
TFW Rabies education comes across your dash because some fuck up calls themselves Rabiosexual.
Incase you didnt know