Omoide wa OKKUSENMAN

I wish depression were an emergency. I wish someone could take one look at how sick I am and go “oh my god, we need to get you to a hospital!” and then when we get there I get rushed into surgery and the surgeons say “it’s a good thing you brought her here when you did, this is a seriously advanced case” and then they put me under and spend the next ten hours pulling metres of long, sticky black strands of gunk out of my body, throwing it immediately into an incinerator so that it can’t infect anyone else. And then they could stitch me back up and I could rest a few days, and when I leave the hospital everyone can see how much better I am and they congratulate me saying “well done, you’ve been so brave, I’m so glad you’re ok. I love you.”

It doesn't even need to be to the level of an emergency, just the little help here and there would make a world of difference. If you have a broken arm people will hold doors or carry things for you but if people hear that you're struggling emotionally they're more likely to just leave you alone.

i dislike the weird jump to blame suicide victims for their suicides and call them selfish. suicide is very frequently in some way a social murder. i think instead of blaming someone who was in such a dark place that they saw no other way out we should maybe be blaming the people who threw gas on the fire, such as those with a lot of power to make that person's life that bad or those who abused them into it. is that really that unreasonable

i knew i wasnt supposed to live past 18