exactly, bing-bong.

the best fic you have ever read in your entire fucking stupid life: written by anonymous

i'm like a fujoshi but for dead people

there's like 10,0000,0 accounts with names like "Best Heritage Posts" and "Tumblr Hall Of Fame Posts" and "So Funny Hellsite Posts" but where's the shitty posts accounts. where's the hall of fail accounts. i want to see the worst of the worst

heritage post

come on man

i love writing out numbers and then putting them in parentheses like "one (1)" even when i dont need to i think its funny

you learn something new everyday. unless you're a historian. then you learn something old

I am making everyone remember normal goose

i am a biological machine that turns cold cans of Campbell’s soup into shareholder value and nude selfies

fellatio sounds like a supporting shakespeare character rather than oral sex on a penis to be honest

Imagine washing up on Dinotopia and getting a talk saying "unfortunately, you can't escape this island! You'll never go home or see your loved ones ever again" & then while you're crying they say "I'm sorry, you'll just have to live on the island of dinosaur communism for the rest of your life" and you look up through your bleary eyes and go. Wait what

i got bit by a snake! quick!! you have to jerk me off to get the poison out! and pinch my nipples a little, too. and call me good boy! yeah that’s the only antidote I looked it up on Internet Explorerrrrrrr

i didn’t post this. i was hacked and this is all they posted #promise

can you tell the hacker to come back