🦇

Like two years ago I ran into a salamander biologist in the woods who complimented my ability to 'walk quietly in the forest while causing minimal disturbance to the leaf litter.' Still goes to my head.

I had to get my kidneys imaged a few years ago and the urologist somewhat breathlessly told me "you have absolutely beautiful kidneys." and tbh I've never felt hotter.

I would like to avoid being homeless when I get out of here please

starting to feel high key desperate. this is due in 4 days

girl who's 2 drinks in: i love you i love you and i love youuu

there’s a post on tumblr about like. if you could do something to bring people a little relief, why wouldn’t you do it? which has unironically informed my practice as a nursing student and patient care tech

realistic coworker conversation

You Have To Kiss Evil Woman. She Can't Spell Mwahahahaha Without Mwah. Do Your Part And Kiss Evil Woman Today.

i wish you could laugh react eBay listings. that's not worth $250. you fucking asshole. lmao

you should also be able to do this to job listings

don't go into the humanities because they're unprofitable and don't go into stem cuz its getting torn apart right now and don't go into buisness because it's competetive and speculative and don't go into education because it pays like shit. Just lay on thr ground. Just lay on the ground.

The eye doctor is the most fun doctor you can go to. They never steal your blood. They never make you get naked and put on a paper dress. They're just like, "Can you see these letters? It's fine if you can't, we can fix that." And they don't even spell anything.