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5. If it says my inbox is open, that means requests are open! (Be nice or I will revoke anon privileges so fast don't play with me)
6. All posts are tagged appropriately so use the search to navigate my blog. Some content is 18+ but there is a disclaimer and it is under a cut.
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Requesting:
Feel free to request whatever you want but just know I have a life outside of Tumblr and might not get to it in a timely manner. Even if I didn't reply to it, I definitely saw it.
(The sheer number of fandoms I am in is insane so it's under the cut LOL)
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So Lucifer and Lilith are a bonded omega/alpha pair. They have Charlie and when she is five years old, Lilith abandons her family and disappears with nothing but a note on her nightstand.
Not only is Lucifer emotionally devastated but physically too. Because him and Lilith were bonded, he gets incredibly sick being away from his mate. He's basically out of commission for a year, becoming bedridden.
Being as he's unable to take care of Charlie, she ends up living with Asmodeus and Fizzaroli for about a year until he recovers. She still visits him occasionally but he misses her. It's very traumatizing for everyone.
Once Lucifer gets better, Charlie returns to his custody and they move out of their big empty mansion. They get an apartment that's smaller but still very nice (because they're disgustingly rich) and Lucifer starts to run into some issues.
He's very happy to be back in Charlie's life but managing a high energy six year old while he's still dealing with chronic fatigue and scent sensitivity is very difficult, so he starts looking for a nanny.
Being who he is, he's very picky and every single nanny he interviews is rejected. He's about to give up when Rosie, his good friend, recommends Alastor for the job. At first, Lucifer is hesitant because Alastor is an alpha. He's worried this mystery man won't be very nurturing and will bathe the house in his pheromones because of his second gender, but Rosie typically has good judgement so he goes along with it.
On Alastor's end, he REALLY doesn't want to deal with any snot nosed brats but he owes Rosie and does it anyway.
After the interview process, Alastor is hired. Alastor is shocked that he's getting along so well with what he thought would be a stuck up rich guy and Lucifer is shocked that Alastor is so mild mannered and functionally scentless.
If you wanna throw some angst in the mix you can have Lilith come back and Lucifer feel a pull towards her physically despite no emotional love anymore.
Applemedia but it's the fact that Alastor only finds Lucifer and Vox attractive when they're not trying to be.
Suggestive
When Lucifer is in his skin tight pants and slutty heels, Alastor could not care less. Vox can't stop staring when the original temptation himself is in tiny shorts, prancing and teasing around the bedroom while Alastor won't look up from his book.
Vox too. He's in nothing but a speedo at the beach, showing off his hard earned abs and weird gill-vent things he knows Alastor likes. He opens his eyes to find the deer playing in the sand with Nifty.
But when the two are at their "ugliest", Alastor can't get enough.
Lucifer is half passed out on his bed. His makeup is gone, hair pushed back by the duck headband (that both of his boyfriends insist they hate), and tacky pink robe sliding off his shoulders. He sits up with a start as the normally touch averse Alastor is grabbing his thighs and pulling off the snake keeping the robe closed.
Vox is exhausted from handling Voxtek, it's very hard to run a business in somewhere as chaotic as hell. He's still in his sweatpants from two days ago as he flops screen first onto the couch, fast-food sauce staining his claws because he didn't have time to eat nutritious food.
The next thing he knows, Alastor is standing over him with a home cooked meal. Vox never was the type to mix food and sex before but with Alastor? He was open to almost everything.
And the only one Lucifer gives the time of day for flirting back is Alastor! Who is kind of shocked. Then Box has a conniption fit because he’s been heavy flirting with Alastor for over a year and never got a response, and of course you never reject a narcissist 😂 Lmao
In general, Vox losing his mind is a favorite trope of mine. I'm not sure why I love torturing my favorite characters but i'm not gonna stop.
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Random ass Hazbin fan theory with no evidence but...
What if part of the reason that Eve fell in love with Lucifer (aside from the fact that he's sexy) was because Adam was in love with him too and she was made from him?
I don't think this logic would apply to Lilith because she was made from the dust of the Earth just like Adam. His natural silly charm and respect for her was what drew her in.
Human AU Charlie who HATES whenever her dad comes to visit her at her college. Not because of anything he did, but because everybody keeps flirting with him.
She's just having the best time in the world getting ice cream with him when Cherri, who works behind the counter, is trying to slip her phone number in with the receipt.
The football coach Adam is shamelessly staring at her father's ass while Charlie tries to give him a tour of the campus.
Her friend Angel Dust is openly flirting with Lucifer outside her dorm. Luckily for everyone, he does not notice it. Not to mention, he'd never go for someone so young.
Even Husk of all people is checking him out as he orders a drink!
Her final straw is when Alastor and Vincent, the history and business professors respectively, pause their usual arguing to ogle Lucifer as he makes small talk with the dean. (Alastor is being subtle, Vincent is not)
I headcanon that Human AU Lucifer is a polyglot and it pisses off Alastor and Vincent so bad.
Alastor thinks he's cool with being trilingual and then Lucifer pulls up knowing nine or some shit.
It's even worse for Vincent because he only knows one and is a total idiot at learning other languages. He's been with Valentino for years and hasn't picked up anything besides 'hola'.
My favorite genre of radioapple is when Vox is pulling his antennas out, screaming, and kicking rocks in the background of Alastor and Lucifer making out.
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Sometimes in your m!preg fic, you gotta admit that the character would get a m!abortion. In Hazbin Hotel, who would those men be?
Discussion of pregnancy, abortion, (duh) and substances under the cut
Lucifer: No, he'd get too attached and he misses Charlie's baby phase.
Alastor: Absolutely, no hesitation. Completely obliterating the fetus out of existence with no remorse.
Vox: Unless it's Alastor's and he can use it as a tool to baby trap the radio demon, yes. Not only would that fuck with his alpha male image, but he's not giving birth to some square-headed baby.
Valentino: No, he's always secretly wanted a family. The baby comes out only slightly fucked up because he can't stay off drugs/alcohol for too long.
Angel Dust: Depends on if he's still under Valentino's contract because he knows the moth will use it against him. If he's escaped the contract? He's keeping it.
Husk: Yes, he hates himself too much and thinks he will be a bad father. He also doesn't want to bring a child into hell because it sucks there.
Pentious: No, he absolutely wants to be a father. He would raise it alongside the egg bois.
Baxter: Probably not, it's a free test subject that's completely defied the rules of hell, unless it starts making him dysphoric because I headcanon him as trans masc.
Adam: Absolutely, he's too filled with toxic masculinity to be carry a baby to term. At first, he would try to hide it by just pretending he was gaining weight.
Abel: No, he loves babies and is lowkey a little pro-life. He would love being a father but would be super anxious about fucking up the kid's life. Not anxious enough to get a m!abortion though.
Let me know if there's any characters I missed that we actually have enough information on them to make a headcanon.
What do we think about a Hazbin Hotel au where Adam is swapped with Lilith? Adam falls in love with Lucifer and those two get kicked out of heaven while Lilith and Eve get together?
Timeskip 10,000 years into the future, Adam is far less of an asshole thanks to Lucifer's influence and Lucifer actually rules over hell thanks to Adam's influence. Charlie is still their daughter and looks basically the same (Those Morningstar genes are STRONG) except she's a little more assertive and maybe has a brown streak in her hair or smthn.
The show goes basically the same except Adam doesn't leave and Lilith leads the exorcist army.
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As much as I love radiojoy/angelicsmile (Alastor x Emily), the thought of Sera finding out and subsequently holy-light blasting Alastor out of existence makes me laugh.
