#crack post

She isn’t mad, just disappointed that her son is buying into Bruce’s dramatics. She respects that he can’t kill criminals, but he completely loses his mind because her family does. She should have known he was like all Americans... preaching respect until it doesn’t fit his standards.

She’s about to leave when she sees Bruce’s daughter—the civilian one, the one her beloved left outside his inner circle.

Her reserve is for two people, and two people will go.

"Child, come. We are going to have dinner."

"What?"

"And then we are going to the opera to see Madame Butterfly."

"I’m sold."

Reader had asked for tickets, but Bruce forgot.

Talia was ready to be tolerant, but she ends up setting another date and calling her beloved’s daughter almost every week.

She loves Damian, but she finds herself enjoying being a mom’s girl very much. Damian’s sister has a sensitivity her son lacks.

Some of Talia’s old clothes end up in her dresser. When summer comes, Talia invites her to Nepal; her beloved thinks she’s going to a summer camp, but Talia starts training their daughter. She can bear that she’s a civilian, but not that she’s defenseless.

Still, they take time to do a mini tour all around Asia, tasting local cuisine and shopping for clothes that actually fit her daughter.

Ra’s is curious but not really interested at first.

"So you are the detective’s runt."

"Unwanted, you mean."

"And that doesn’t bother you?" he asks, intrigued.

"I’ve decided my best vengeance is being unbothered by it."

He smiles briefly.

"What would the detective say if he knew you lingered with my daughter?"

"Sir, if you want a video reaction when he finds out, just pay me."

He sends her $10,000 when she ends up sending him high-resolution footage.

To everyone’s confusion—except Talia—Ra’s al Ghul acts like a normal grandpa when he’s around reader.

When Damian finds out, he accuses her of trying to steal his position as heir (he knows he’s already lost it, but he’s jealous). She looks at him like he’s dumb.

"Why would I be the heir when I’m the favorite grandchild?" she asks. "The heir thing is just some game gramps plays for fun. Why would he need one when he’s basically immortal with no plans of dying?"

That pretty much silences Damian for a long time.

No one understands their relationship. She’s welcome to join the League of Assassins, but it’s okay if she doesn’t, they still want her around.

Bruce: *sitting at Batcomputer minding his own business*

Jason: *getting ready for patrol*

Dick: *asks nicely*

Dick: Jay, could you hand me my escrimas?

Jason: *deadpans*

Jason: Go get them yourself, Dickface.

Tim: *walks in*

Tim: Jason, could you toss me my bo staff, please?

Jason: *no hesitation, tosses Tim his bo staff*

Dick: *shooketh*

Dick: Why do you help him and not me??? I'm your big bro, Little Wing!

Jason: Middle children have to stay together.

Dick: *confused af because Jay and Tim are his only brothers*

Tim: *curious*

Bruce: *frozen before turning around slowly*

Dick: Jason, you're the only middle child... right?

Jason: *laughs nervously*

Jason: Oh, would you look at that! Crime Alley is calling my name!

Jason: *runs*

---

SOMEWHERE IN NANDA PARBAT

Damian: *sneezes*

Damian: Somebody mentioned me.

---

LATER THAT EVENING

Talia: *on the phone with Bruce*

Talia: What! Me?! Hide a child of yours?!

Talia: *looks at Damian and a picture of Jason*

Zanka: "Be honest with me."

You: "Mm?"

Zanka: "Would you still kiss me with shit on my face?"

You: "Zanka, what the fuck are you talking about—"

Zanka: "ANSWER THE QUESTION."

You: "Why would you have shit on your face??"

Zanka: "Some newbie slung shit on me…"

You: "Ah."

Zanka: "…"

You: "…"

Zanka: "That's not a yes, and you're not answering the question."

You: "I love you, sweetheart. Stay safe on your way back."

Zanka: "ANSWER THE QUESTION—"

˚ ˖ ❀ * — what do mha boys prefer, ass or tits?

starring: Izuku Midoriya, Katsuki Bakugo, Shoto Todoroki, Eijiro Kirishima, Denki Kaminari, Hitoshi Shinso, Tamaki Amajiki, Keigo Takami, Toya Todoroki, Tomura Shigaraki,

content warning: timeskip!au, suggestive 18+, fem!reader, kinda explicit oopsies, + their fav position, crack-ish lmao I was just having fun

wc: 1.9k

a/n: muahahaha lowkey got a little unhinged the more I wrote but yolo we ball

IZUKU MIDORIYA

If you were to ask him on the spot, he wouldn’t be able to come up with an answer. Truly, he loves every part of your body. It’s practically his drug. Every curve, every mark, every inch is his favorite.

But— after thinking long and hard. He would say your tits. Cliché or not, half the time he can’t keep his focus off those pretty mounds. He tries his best to keep eye contact, maybe it’s the inner virgin in him. But with the way they spill over your cute tops, he can’t control it.

One of his favorite things to do is lay on your chest, not even sexually. He just likes to listen to your heartbeat and each breath you take. It oddly comforts him.

Especially after a long day, he comes home beat and exhausted. Desperate for a sense of peace, and if it’s what helps the man sleep at night, who are you to deny him?

He might have a few dirty fantasies about your breasts, yes. But he’s just not that type of guy.

Though, if he ever built the courage to ask. He would most definitely want to suck on them as if he were dying tomorrow!!

KATSUKI BAKUGO

He’s an ass man no doubt. He absolutely loves groping you randomly just to get on your nerves. If you’re in public, he almost always has a hand wrapped tightly around your waist, kneeling the muscle underneath his calloused palms.

And god forbid you wear a dress or skirt. That man will be clawing at you all night long, desperately unable to keep his hands to himself. His hands would’ve all over you nonstop. By your hips, on your ass, genuinely anywhere he can get them.

He loves a mean doggy though, the slapping of your skin to skin contact feeds him for days. He loves leaving red hand print marks on your plush skin. The stinging sensation lingering on your skin for the next few hours. He’s mean with it too, but you’re right where you wanna be.

One of his favorite things to do is just have his hands rest on the curve of your ass. Sometimes tracing shapes mindlessly, a little squeeze here and there.

This man is beefy so I know a nice slap would sting like a bitch. He literally works with hands of course he has skill.

He would also be a mean ass muncher, but what do I know!

SHOTO TODOROKI

Honestly, he’s a mix of both. He kinda just loves anything to do with you, or your body. He feels guilty if he stares at either of your assets for too long. But can you blame him? You’re quite literally shoving the prize in his face!

He tries to be polite with it, he’ll drop cute compliments about how good you look and leave small kisses on your skin. But nothing gets this man more worked up than your thighs.

They are literally the grounds between heaven and paradise. He loves burying his face between them, leaving kisses among the inside of your thighs and leading up to your core. He could honestly eat you out all day and have no complaints, he’s right where he wants to be.

His hands always find their way to your thighs, just to caress them. Especially when he’s driving it’s just second nature, It’s the little signs of affection that matter.

He would want to die between those goddess legs of yours. The only right way to go.

To be honest, he realllyyyy wants to slide his length in between your plush thighs and just hump your legs. But that’s a thought for another day.

EIJIRO KIRISHIM

ASS ASS ASS ASSSS, AND DID I SAY ASS. He loves squishing your robust, plush muscle. If he finds you lying on your stomach, best believe he is using that ass as his own personal pillow.

A weird thing he likes doing is using hardening to just punch you in the ass, not hard enough that it hurts, but it’ll definitely leave a mark and bruise. You always scold him afterwards but the jiggle that comes from it is always worth the lecture!

He LOVES PRONE BONE. Something about how he can just slide between your thighs and watch those cheeks clap back onto him alters his brain chemistry. It’s also a great workout if you ask him, his favorite form of cardio.

If he comes home after long and manly day of working out, he just wants his favorite stressballs to relive all his problems. Will you ever deny him, nope. Will you always bicker at him, yes.

He loves slapping your ass too whenever he passes by. A simple “damn girl, when did you get all this ass?” Leaving a red mark and most definitely a bruise the next day.

That jiggle and recoil keeps him going during hard days, and definitely keeps everything else hard too.

DENKI KAMINARI

Ladies feel free to throw your bras and show your TITTTIESSSS.

Self explanatory, he likes tits. What man doesn’t? He can’t control the urge to stare at those pretty, soft pillows. And stare he does. He can’t help it when you’re practically wavering them in his face.

He loves motorboating you to the point where he is on the verge of suffocation. Don’t be fooled, he is most definitely content with his placement.

This man is a reformed pervert, he will absolutely have no shame in staring at your godly sculpted chest. He will so casually ask if he can jerk it on your tits and then be shocked when you get mad at him (you do later but that’s besides the point).

He will so purposely do anything to watch them jiggle in his face. He’s so childish about it too like he’s never seen a woman’s body before. Like he will purposely flick at your nipples just to get a reaction out of you.

And god forbid you wear shirt with no bra. There will be no eye contact for the next 48 hours. Just him and those bitties against the world.

He SWEARS BY letting you ride him. To be honest he might just enjoy it so much just because they’re bouncing in his face. A. You’re bouncing on his dick and B. He has front row seats to those ladies bouncing everywhere.

HITOSHI SHINSO

He would never admit it but he definitely catches himself eyeing them titties resting in your top. Drool pooling in the corners of his lips.

He still shows affection to every single other part of your body. Practically worshipping you. He’s not very open with pda but he likes holding your hands close to him. Just a small gesture that leaves him aware of your presence.

He likes biting on them for some reason— walk with me. He doesn’t do it hard or painfully, but enough to get a reaction of you. He also likes that they keep his hands warm, he always just cups his abnormally cold hands underneath your breasts like his personal handwarmers.

You don’t complain of course, but the cold sensation definitely makes your nipples perk up.

He enjoys missionary than most positions, he likes the closeness between you two and it feels more intimate. The lewd expressions on your face as he does loonnnggg and slowww drags. Making sure you feel every vein.

It makes his brain go fuzzy and he doesnt know exactly why. It also gives him a great view of the ladies bouncing.

He likes cumming on them too, but I digress.

TAMAKI AMAJIKI

Thighs. Next question.

He’s so shy with touching your body, he feels so perverted for doing so even though you literally explained that you enjoyed it when he did. He was very hesitant at first to display and signs of pda.

Now, he’s definitely warmed up to it. His hands find their way to your hips or your thighs. Mindlessly drawing small shapes on your skin softly.

He honestly just likes showing small signs of affection. He seriously has an addiction with kissing your body everywhere and anywhere.

He’s a lil freak in the sheets tho and I KNOW it, he’ll act all cute and shy in public but the moment you have him all to yourself he’ll be a whining, needy mess. HE LOVES WHEN YOU RIDE HIM, it literally lets his brain reset while you make a sticky mess on his thighs. His hands roaming shamelessly all over your body, trying to find a piece of reality to keep him from blacking out.

Poor boy seriously doesn’t know what to do with his hands when it comes to intercourse. It just feels too good :,( and he’s just a whiny, mess desperate for your touch.

also ik he puts them tentacles to WORKKK.

KEIGO “HAWKS” TAKAMI

I see him enjoying ass tbh. Like idk he just seems the type to eye those pillowy mounds and genuinely need his hands ALL over them. He’s like so unserious with it tho, like he’ll genuinely whistle at you if you pass by him wearing anything SLIGHTLY revealing.

He likes having a hand rest in the back pocket of your pants— email me. Like it’s just a habit he has and like he doesn’t even realize it. He’ll like also pull you by your belt hoops if you’re too far out of reach for his liking.

Honestly he’s down for any position tbh. As long as he’s inside of you he’s happy lmao. THOUUUGHH I know he would be very sensual with it and likes to take his time and not rush things. If he has a bad day though, he’ll take out his pent up stress on your body :,( but you fucking love it when he gets a little rough every once in a while!!

He wants the cheek clapping in his face, it’s his final request if he were to die tomorrow.

He’s just such a tease tho like he purposely just pisses you off. And he KNOWS it makes you mad but that’s exactly why he does it.

He gives you a good laugh tho, like sometimes he’ll say something SOO out of pocket you can’t help but laugh.

If you can make em laugh and giggle, you can make those cheeks clap and giggle!

TOUYA “DABI” TODOROKI

Ass. I will not go further into depth okay.

He’s a freak like have you seen this man. Like he WILL slap dat ass no hesitation. And then will just look around like nothing ever happened. He’s not a fan of pda, he didn’t get much loving as a kid so he doesn’t know how to reciprocate his feelings very well :(

Okay hear me out but like I feel like he might be into SOME temperature play. He’ll purposely heat up his palm and then place it onto your bare ass, the sudden change in temperature genuinely has you dripping though.

And I KNOOWWWW it’s pierced. Have you not SEEN all that metal already on his body? Also I think he has his nipples pierced idk he’s a freak.

He likes doggy, his stamina IS unmatched though. Honestly he’s down to fuck anywhere he doesn’t give a shit. If he needs that he needs that NOW. He WILL pull your panties to the side, rearrange your guts, then walk off like nothing even happened.

He likes cumming on your ass, literally right next to all the marks and bruises he left.

He’s literally the toxic ex you keep going back to, but you can’t help it! He just fills you up every way you need him to!

a/n: first tumblr post! what do we think?? posting my series soon lolol sorry I got side tracked