Cat Lord

You guys do know you're supposed to reblog things, right

"well i like this post but i'm worried my followers might not" fuck your followers. The entire point of tumblr is to cause irreparable psychic damage to your followers. We are locked in mortal combat on the astral plane. You must win. You Must Win. You Must Destroy Them.

this website’s easy watch. *dangles a bunch of greek gods like keys*

Keep in mind I only know like. Two Greek gods by name. Homer is one of them, and he was good friends with Odysseus I think?

Wait fuck Homer isn’t a god he wrote the fucking thing. Fuck

POST CANCELLED NO ONE LOOK

You're failing.

You don’t think I know that, God of Death? Can I pray to you so I can DIE ALREADY

Short version is that Pluto is a later name for the god of death, which is often associated with the Roman era/Roman mythology. Hades is the earlier name.

I set up my own house made of sticks and it has promptly fallen on me

I made this post thinking I knew what kind of fire I was playing with. Hephaestus, God of Fire, looking upon me from his fuck off tower or whatever said “Oh you think you know? Check this shit” and promptly set my post ablaze for everyone to observe

Hephaestus doesn't have a tower, he lived in a volcano

FINE THEN. BIG FUCK OFF VOLCANO. WHATEVER

FUCK'S SAKE NOT AGAIN

ares is the god of war, not kratos

WHY THE FUCK DOES THE GAME CALL HIM GOD OF WAR THEN

I can't believe this post is less than 24 hours old, it feels like something out of classic tumblr lore

It just keeps going. Hey op, would like a shovel to dig that grave a little bit faster?

*yelling out from 12 foot hole* NO THANK YOU

I'm personally offended that you didn't mention Hestia, given how many times I've mentioned her on this post alone, as well as the obvious fact that Hestia is Bestia™

I’m absolutely DYING at the mix up between Zeus and Odin. Can you imagine those two switching places?

MAN FUCJING WHATEVER. LIGHTNING BOYS

afaik odin doesn't have lightning powers and the kratos you're thinking of is a video game character who has close to no actual basis in mythology

Also did OP play God of War? Bc you have to kill Ares in the first game. That's how Kratos becomes the God of War. The game was originally named for the revenge quest you have against the antagonist, Ares, the God of War. So. Familiarity with the God of War videogame franchise should inform a person that Kratos is not, in fact, the God of War in the Greek mythological canon.

….i have not played god of war

You have to watch the dosage.

You have to watch the dosage.

scurvy has got to have one of the biggest disease/treatment coolness gaps of all time. like yeah too much time at sea will afflict you with a curse where your body starts unraveling and old wounds come back to haunt you like vengeful ghosts. unless☝️you eat a lemon

I'm having a good time :)

i am not, sadly. my tummy hurts :(

I'm going to absolve you of this pain. I will transfer the pain onto myself.

ouuuuuuuughghhggggggggggggg,,,,,,,,,,,,, guuhhhggggh ooouughhhffgg :( oooouuumnhhhhhhhhh......

jussts. senfdb it. send it to me ,,,,., . I can Take it

as a completely cis dude, I would press this button immediately, without question. There are a lot of things I would do for money, but shit I'd do this for like 20 bucks... maybe less?

She said with all too much confidence

A DAY!?!?!?

all hail the 1% (for once)

i need a capri sun and then i need to be shot

"I feel so normal about him" well I dont. move