THESE ARE NOT IN ANY PARTICULAR ORDER! THEY ARE JUST IN THE ORDER THAT I HEAR THEM! ALSO, I DIDNâT FIND ANY OF THESE ON MY OWN, I JUST KINDA OF WATCHED COMPILATIONS AND SUCH
Feel free to add your own if you want
âHelp Dio Iâm being chased by a minority!â
âÂĄAY CARAMBA DĂNDE ESTĂ LA BIBLIOTECA!â
âI drop kicked that child in self defense. Youâve got to believe me.â
âWe got my boy Jacob here. He mines cobblestone for me all day. I donât pay him and he also has no rights. âBut Technoblade doesnât that kinda of sound likeâŚâ Shhhhhhhhhhh. I need cobblestone.â
âItâs alright, as someone who went to college, I know you canât lose what you never had. But you can go into debt.â
âYou want to be a hero Tommy? THEN DIE LIKE ONE! Ok, why isnât this spawning? Why is this not spawning? This is very awkward.â
âI play minecraft! *whispers* Donât tell my parents, they think I have a job.â
âWhen I first made this channel, I thought we would get here WAY faster! Hurry up losers, pick up the pace *claps* chop chop.â
âI mean everyone would hate me but hear me out here. It would be funny.â
âFREE DEATH FOR EVERYONE! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!â
âBe extremely subtle, even to the point of formlessness.â (technically itâs Sun Tzu but whatever)
âBruh.â
âOh god he's onto me. He knows!â
âWhatever you do, donât reveal all your techniques in a YouTube video, you fool, you moron.â
âI think the rats are trying to say that strange pigs sitting in mazes, disrupting swords is no basis for a system of government.â
âEveryone, letâs point our guns at him while weâre seated. Itâs like the U.S. school system.â
âIâve seen Irish famines with more potatoes than this farm.â
âIâm having fun. I dropped out of college for this.â
âLook Iâm an atheist but when God sends me to hell, I want him to hesitate ok? I want him to hesitate for a few seconds.â
âAbsolute power corrupts absolutely.â
âThis man made 8 potato eleven minions⌠AND THEN HE PAINTED THE MONA LISA!â
âWhen I was a child, boats killed my parents.â
âThis sounds like my parents!â
âI love hay.â
â...I studied THE CRAFT!â
âGod, that toddler is getting DESTROYED! They just curb-stomped that baby.â
âPHILZA, LOOK OUT! AAAHHHH!â
âThereâs two ways to get to the top: one, self-improvement, two, sabotaging literally the entire community.â
âMorale of the story here is that if you see a murder being committed, you should immediately call them a boomer.â
âRats are very susceptible to peer pressure.â
âIf Hypixel has taught me anything itâs if you have a problem, the answer is slavery.â
âShouldnât have given them freedom of speech.â
âHEAH!? (or however you spell that thing he does when heâs confused)
âThis is a bigger disappointment than my son.â
âBooks for the Book God.â
âBlood for the Blood God.â
âLike, I am so masculine and indifferent about this small animal and then it walks over and licks my foot and my brain just goes âOH MY GOD THIS IS THE GREATEST MOMENT OF MY LIFE!ââ
â(some random commenter asked) âIs your sister single?â Well, yes, but but sheâs in first grade, so⌠Donât mind me, just dialing 9-1-1.â
âDude, these orphans are getting destroyed.â
âThis is the second worst thing that has happened to these orphans in their lives.â
âTHAT BABY BETTER LEARN TODAY! THAT BABY BETTER LEARN! THEY BETTER LEARN RIGHT THIS INSTANT OR I DONâT KNOW WHAT IâM GOING TO DO TO THAT BABY! I DUNNO WHAT IâM GONNA DO TO THAT BABY HE DOESNâT SH- COMPREHEND THEORETICAL PHYSICS RIGHT THIS INSTANT! I SWEAR TO GOD! YOU BETTER LEARN THOSE EQUATIONS!  That is all.â
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Qualityâ Free Actions
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
as much as I love the posts about Grace being like âholy fuck is that markiplier????â Iâm also a big fan of the idea of Grace putting on like La La Land or something one night and being like âyeah thatâs Ryan Gosling he was one of my favourite actors back on earthâ and Simon just being like
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Qualityâ Free Actions
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
I watched Iron Lung again tonight in the comfort of my home and my dog must've been watching with me cause as soon as bad things started happening to Simon she started crying. In the scene where he ultimately dies she could not stop crying at me. I am now watching him play the Henry Stickman collection so she can see that A.) He's not dead and B.) He's not in distress. Occasionally he'll whine or hum in discontent about something and my dog will look at me and whine to try and get me to fix whatever is distressing Markiplier.
I imagine Grace hears the screaming and goes to check out what he hell is happing on Simon's stream
When he comes in, Simon turns to him and goes, "sunshine, chat's saying I've never had sex before. Tell them they're wrong, please?"
And Grace just goes, "wait, you've had sex before?"
Simon: "no, love, don't do this to me"
Grace: "I mean, I didn't know! You never told me that!"
Chat: "see, we knew you were lying"
Simon: "no, he's lying! he's messing with me"
Grace: "what? I'd never do that!"
Chat: "how dare you accuse PapaStar of doing such a thing! jail! Jail for Si for a hundred years!"
and this just continues. for half an hour, until Simon just gives up and is like "no, I'm not doing this anymore. I'm going back to my game" and judt refuses to engage with the discussion
eventually Grace breaks, starts laughing, hugs Simon from behind, and goes "nah, of course he's had sex before. And he's so good for me every time." then he kisses Simon's neck and walks away before Si can even get a word out
Lmfao yes! đ one thing grace loves to do is ragebait his husband.
After stream you KNOW Simon âgets revengeâ because the next time they do have sex, Simon jokes around that he doesnât know what heâs doing. đ
Which kind of back fires because that day, Simon finds out he has a kink for Grace not only talking him through it but teaching him. (Even if he knows what to do đ)
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Qualityâ Free Actions
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
a/n: please ignore how unrealistic the time frame is on all this, I donât fully understand relativity and Iâm electing to ignore all its rules so I can make these two sad men have a happy ending.Â
Itâs an AU of an AU my god. Blaming @idgabuck and their Streamer!Simon x Teacher Grace AUÂ
I love this AU so much, it jsut scratches an itch in my brain and I had to write something for it. I hope I did Simon and Grace justice.
Anyway shoutout to The Lunineers for getting me through this lolÂ
Warnings for scientific inaccuracies, medical inaccuracies and angst with a happy ending.Â
11 years after Grace is launched into space, Stratt shows up on Simonâs doorstep.Â
Heâs getting back from the grocery store when he finds her standing outside his apartment door, hair a little greyer but still looking exactly as Simon remembers. They donât say anything to each other for a long moment. Both just taking in the other's appearance - the last 10 years hasnât been kind to anybody and Simon knows for a fact Stratt has (supposedly) been in prison the whole time. Obviously thatâs changed (or she was never there, not that idea surprises him either).Â
Eventually Simon moves to place his groceries down at a respectable distance from both Stratt and his front door.Â
âMr. Grace.â She greets him with a slight nod.
âWhat do you want, Stratt?âÂ
If sheâs off put by his bluntness, she doesnât show it. Instead she bows her head slightly before meeting his gaze. âIâm here to kindly request your help with something.â
âMy help? What the hell could I possibly help you with?â
âI understand Iâm the last person you want to see - â
âThatâs putting it mildly.â
â - but I assure you itâs of the utmost importance. Not just for the world, but also for you.âÂ
âYouâre going to have to do better than that.â Simon finds himself saying. He has no desire to entertain her theatrics, nor does he have the energy anymore to hold onto the hate he once held for her. That feeling died out years ago.Â
âItâs about Grace.â
The silence returns. Heavier than before. It makes his throat close up with a grief that still lingers even now, years later.Â
âLet me feed my cats first.â Simon finally settles on.Â
The facility Simon is brought to is different from the last one he had gone to with Grace. This one is smaller for one thing. For another, it feels more like a hanger than any sort of government facility but he supposes thatâs sort of the point. Heâs led to a smaller room that has an observation window to the left and is only furnished with a single chair and a worn looking table displaying an old model laptop.Â
Stratt motions for Simon to sit as she begins explaining what exactly Simon is here for.Â
âA little over a year ago we received confirmation of two of the Hail Mary's Beatles on route to earth. We were able to intercept and retrieve it shortly after. Not only did it have the answer to the Astrophage problem, but it also contained data logs from the ship.âÂ
She clasps her hands in front of her, pausing to allow the reaction from Simon she knows is coming.Â
â...So youâve had information on my husband for the last year, and youâre just now telling me?âÂ
âOnce we start sharing the information on these logs, we would be having to share them with the world. Even if we tried to hide the information, it would get out one way or another. Iâve put it off for as long as I can, but I did want you to be the first outside of this taskforce to watch them.â
That makes him pause, the rising affront from her hiding this from him is gone almost as quickly as it rises. The first to watch them? What does that mean and exactly are on these logs? He settles back in the chair provided and nods for Stratt to continue, resolutely ignoring the anxiety rising in his chest.Â
âThese videosâŚâ Stratt paused to compose herself for a moment before continuing. â...These are Graceâs video logs. Watching them will be difficult, but I ask that you please watch them all before we continue.â
âContinue? You mean thereâs more than these logs?â
She nods, but doesnât elaborate. Only gesturing to the laptop and giving a soft âIâll leave you to itâ before she leaves him alone.Â
With seemingly nothing left to lose, Simon opens the laptop and presses play on the first file.Â
Grace had woken up alone and confused with only the corpses of his supposed crewmates.Â
Simon finds himself having to physically hold back his sobs as he watches Grace try and sort through memories he doesnât quite understand to make sense of his situation.Â
He has to watch Grace give Yao and Ilyukhina their respective funerals, not even bothering to stop the tears now.Â
After taking a small break to scream into his hands - an alien!? Really!? For fucks sake, Grace. Only you - Simon continues watching the video logs. He gets to see Grace slowly come back alive as he and Rocky - creative his husband is not - figure out how to communicate and solve the problem plaguing both their home worlds.Â
The first time he hears Grace laughing again though, Simon has to pause the video again to take a few deep breaths.Â
Simonsâ not even the one having to make the chain and heâs already sick of it too. There's hours of footage of them making that god-forsaken chain and just talking. Theyâre talking about their fishing plan, about the science and thought process behind it. And about really nothing at all. One video has Grace trying to describe colors to the Eridian. Simon watches every second of it all.Â
âGrace have mate? Question?â
âOhâŚuh. Iâm not sure! I donât - I mean you know my memory is all kinds of screwed up,â a self deprecating laugh here, â...but I think so? Saying that I do feels right.â
â...Rocky ask questions about mate? Maybe help memory? Question?â
(So does Rocky, but as attached as Simon is becoming to the weird little guy he is infinitely more attached to his husband.)
Itâs back to spliced together security footage of the Fishing Incident, and Simon nearly has a heart attack when he sees Grace go face first into the control panels.Â
This is it, he thinks. This is how he died, this is how I lost the love of my life.
Except Rocky apparently decides fuck that and breaks out of his containment in order to physically drag Grace to safety. Nevermind that Rocky is apparently on fire for the whole thing - Simon loves the little guy so much at that moment. He actually has to talk himself into relaxing each finger that's in a death-grip around the poor laptop after witnessing the whole ordeal.Â
Grace eventually wakes up, and Simonâs heart breaks right along with him as he sees Grace discover whatâs happened to Rocky.Â
â...Iâll watch you sleep, buddy. But you gotta wake up.â
Hearing Grace say his name has him snapping his eyes up to the screen from where theyâve wandered away slightly. Heâd zoned out a little while watching Grace perform his experiments on the astrophage predator.Â
The screen now shows Grace alone, sitting up at his work station with a haunted look in his eyes that Simon has never seen before. Rocky is nowhere in sight.Â
âSimon. Oh my godâŚhow could I haveâŚâ Here Grace lets his head fall into his hands as he shoulders begin to shake. Eventually he straightens back up with a deep inhale, blinking back tears as he gathers himself. âWhat happened? Why did IâŚ? Why did I go? Thereâs still so much I donât understandâŚThat I donât rememberâŚâ
Several long minutes of silence has Simon just watching and waiting on Grace. It feels almost like he can pretend that theyâre back home again, just the two of them sitting and enjoying the silence together while Grace grades his students papers and Simon reads through his latest library book. The faint crackle of the laptops speakers is the only thing breaking the illusion.Â
â...We met in college. And you joined me on a roadtrip back home to the west coast. I- I told you I loved you after you fought a crow in the Grand Canyon for my pack of Twizzlers. God it was so stupid and terrible but you just smiled at me like I meant everything to you -â
â- you did, Angel,â Simon canât help but cut in with a desperate gasp, clutching at the laptop hard enough to hear the plastic casing creak, âYou still do.âÂ
â - and you kissed me on the fucking forhead and told me to get back in the car before I got cold.â A deep breath here ââŚYou wouldnât stop holding my hand after that either. I loved that so much. Just always there, without question.â
A pained whimper cuts through the sudden silence, Simon not realizing at first where it was coming from until he has to gasp for air.Â
âBut what I canât figure out - is if we loved each other so much, why am I here? Why am I here and not with you? Why did I leave!?â
âNo no no. Angel, no. It wasnât you - it wasnât, please donât -â
The video ends before either of them get an answer.Â
The silence after is deafening. Itâs been hours since Simon was first shown into this little room, only really pausing when someone dropped off food and water at some point. He has no idea where he is or what time it is now. He feels adrift in a way that he hasnât felt like since Grace was first launched all those years ago.Â
There must be a camera or something in here alerting her that heâs done with the laptop, because Stratt comes back in after a few minutes. Sheâs brought her own chair and takes a seat across from him, neither of them speaking for a long while. Simon can see the faint streaks of a sunset from outside the observation window.Â
â...so aliens, huh?â he finally settles on. Heâs not trying to be funny, but Grace always did say he liked deflecting with jokes. It makes Stratt smile anyway.Â
âIâŚI donât know what to say. Thatâs it? JustâŚconfirmation he probably starved to death in space as expected? What do you want from me here, Stratt?â
â...I would like your help.â
âWith what? Iâm not a scientist like Grace was!â
âI know that. This is the part that comes after.â Simon straightens up at her words. Heâs not sure if itâs the tone or the way she avoids his eyes, but it gets his attention. âWhat I say does not leave this room. I know precisely who knows this information, so I will know who to look into should this information get out.â
â...okay?â
She meets his eyes now, staring him down with a familiar intensity. He realises he hasnât seen this look in her eyes since the day they launched the Hail Mary.Â
âSix months ago we got confirmation of the Hail Maryâs return trajectory towards earth.â
No.Â
âThe ship was successfully recovered and we have been preserving what we can but -â
Simon canât breathe.
âNo, no fuck you. Donât you dare - after all this I get - what, exactly? Now I have something to bury!? Is this supposed to be some sort of fucked up consolation prize!?âÂ
âNo Mr. Grace, you misunderstand. I am not saying his body was recovered, I am saying Ryland Grace was recovered alive.âÂ
Thereâs a helicopter ride to a tiny, private airfield, and then a plane ride to somewhere in Texas. At least he thinks itâs Texas, considering they passed what he was pretty sure was the remaining facilities of NASA.Â
Simonâs head isnât really able to focus on much of that right now.Â
(â...Iâm still not sure why you need my help exactly? I get heâs in medical care, but why am I helping?â
âBecause Dr. Grace wasnât recovered alone.â)
Since he has to, yâknow, try and get past the Eridian guard dog so the medics can better help his not-dead-husband recover from the malnutrition, slight radiation poisoning, and scurvy.Â
Heâs overwhelmed and lost and he canât tell if this is real or if that fever he had last week actually killed him and this all just some sort of strange afterlife - but right now it doesnât matter because either way Grace is here and heâs almost within his grasp.Â
Stratt leads him through several security checkpoints through what looks like a military hospital, until she finally stops him outside a pair of double doors lined with those plastic ribbons that always remind him of the freezer section at grocery stores. Or a butcher's shop.Â
âThere are cameras inside. If you need anything, just ask. Try not to break anything.â Simon feels like he should be offended by that last part. Instead he steps forward, only hesitating slightly before he pushes through the plastic and opens the metal door.Â
Itâs the sound that he registers first. Like a typical hospital room he can hear monitors beeping, a steady hum of the oxygen, with a slight hiss interspersed throughout.Â
The angry looking spider perched in an oversized hamsterball shouldnât be as much of a surprise as it is.Â
âWhat the - â
âWhy no knock!? Who is? Question? Human being rude! Statement!" Â
Seeing on a video screen is very different from seeing in person, Simon decides. He tries not to think too hard about how nervous he suddenly feels. âUmâŚhi? Rocky right?â
He doesnât know what to expect, but the immediate shift in personality is not it. Rocky goes from a hunched over defensive stance to perking upright like a dog hearing the word âwalkâ faster than he can blink. A series of excited squeals break out as Rock steps closer.Â
âYou are Grace Mate! Oh yes yes yes! Happy happy happy. Hello Friend Simon!â Rocky is now doing his little jazz hands as he happily rolls up to where Simon had frozen by the main doors. âRocky hears many story about Grace Mate Simon. Show Rocky many videos of Mate Simon! Good you are here, Grace miss Mate very much.â
âI âŚI missed him too.â Simonâs voice is nearly a whisper as he lets Rocky roll around him in spastic little circles. Rocky makes more pleased (they at least sound pleased?) chirps as he wobbles around the room. It gives Simon a chance to actually look around the room heâs in.Â
Itâs bigger than he thought. Thereâs still a decent amount of medical equipment taking up the edges of the room, but itâs obvious most of the floor space has been cleared for Rockyâs benefit.Â
And finally- front and center is Grace himself.Â
Heâs prone on the hospital bed, hooked up to what looks like every line and sensor known to mankind. Heâs asleep at least. Not able to feel what is undoubtedly an incredibly uncomfortable experience.Â
There's a chair next to the bed for Simon to sit in, that he gratefully takes. Heâs already threading his fingers into Graces as he slowly lets reality right itself. His hands are cold. But Grace is here. Heâs alive and heâs getting better according to what the doctors are saying, but itâs still going to be a long road to recovery.Â
âGrace Mate Simon leaking.âÂ
He canât help but laugh wetly at the sudden statement. Tears had unknowingly begun slipping down his face as he simply basked in his husband's presence for the first time in almost 12 years. âJust Simon is fine, Rocky. Although I do appreciate being recognised as his mate - husband.â
âSimon not normally recognised? Question?â Rockyâs little taps sound more offended on his behalf than he expects, and it makes him laugh again.Â
 âNot exactly. Itâs just been a long time since Iâve been recognised as his husband I guess.â
âHmm. Rocky understand. Rocky also miss being called Adrian Mate.âÂ
â...Iâm sorry. Iâm sorry you couldnât go home.â Rocky makes another few warbling notes as he comes around to Simonâs side of the bed until he can bump gently against his legs.Â
âRockyâŚmiss Adrian. But Eridians have long life! Will make it back to Erid eventually. Will see Adrian againâÂ
âStillâŚâ Simon finds himself reaching down to pat the hamsterball like heâs seen Grace do a million times. Rocky leans into the touch, his body arching up to meet where Simonâs hand is. âThank you. Grace is here because of you. Heâs alive and home and thatâs something I can never repay.âÂ
âNo need repay. Rocky love Grace! Want Grace happy.âÂ
Grace may be stable, but he isnât out of the woods yet. A lot of the current expected recovery time is just waiting to see how his body takes the treatments needed. So both Simon and Rocky are left with a lot of time on their hands while they watch and wait. Simonâs never been very good at keeping idle, so he gets to work.Â
Simon asks for the translator Grace created for Rocky and instead gets to work on improving the software. Simonâs always liked puzzles and software engineering had always been a fun passion of his. He starts by taking the original set up and figuring out what exactly Grace has Frankensteined together. The original laptop itself is in a terrible state, the screen broken and glitching occasionally. The copious amounts of duct tape have preserved the other two tablets attached to the side and back in nothing less of a miracle.Â
Itâs honestly impressive itâs survived this long, Simon thinks as he methodically takes the three machines apart and puts them back together.Â
Next he gets to work on his own laptop to make the translation program more streamlined. It takes a few days and several blocks of time where he and Rocky canât communicate too well because of the constant switching on and off of the system. But they get there! And now itâs all one program he has downloaded to its own dedicated tablet. All thatâs left is expanding its vocabulary for Rockyâs sake.Â
âNo understand word.â
âWhich word?â
âSecond word. Heard many times but no understand.â
â...Grace didnât explain any swears to you did he?â
â...â
â...â
â...Simon teach Rocky all the swears please.â
âYou know what? Yeah, fuck it. Letâs do that.â
âThe cats are fine! I asked Colt to watch them. And, well Stratt -â Rocky makes a sound that Simon can only describe as a displeased harmonica at the mention of Stratt. WhichâŚvalid. Simon sympathizes. âStratt knew there was going to be difficulty with translation and making sure you both were getting the care you needed. Also I think she knew I would genuinely kill her if I found out she was keeping Grace from me. Again.â
They live together in Graceâs hospital room for the next several months as Grace's condition slowly improves. Heâs still far too thin and discolored for Simon's liking, but the bruises are slowly disappearing and his skin is looking better everyday. The scarring on his left arm is improving too, but the nerves will probably never recover.Â
A spare bed is moved in for Simon, and Rockyâs enclosure is expanded into the room so he doesnât have to be confined to the hamsterball as much. Doctors come and go with Simon's blessing, Rocky only making the occasional displeased noise when one seems to be lingering longer than necessary. Stratt only visits occasionally, and she never steps fully into the room, which he thinks he and Rocky both appreciate more than theyâd like to admit.Â
Grace stays sedated through the majority of it, which is a small comfort to Simon. He never liked seeing Grace in pain or discomfort. As much as he wants to have Grace awake and here with him, heâs willing to set that desire aside for granting him some much needed comfort.Â
He also learns a lot more about Eridians than he ever expected. Or really wanted to.Â
(âRocky needs to go eat now.â
âPlease do it in the other room - Iâm begging you to not do that in front of me ever again.â)
And then the day finally comes when Graceâs doctor begins talking about plans to wake him up. Itâs been nearly 6 months since Simon moved in, and a lot of the monitors he had been hooked up to when Simon first arrived have all slowly gone away one by one. Bandages around his left arm were removed, and most bruises are nearly gone. And now they are getting to the point where Grace is no longer in the danger he once was, making his induced coma unnecessary.Â
Simon of course readily agrees to waking him up - but he, Rocky and even Stratt all insist on doing it as gently as possible.Â
Itâs not like the movies where itâs all quick and dramatic with Grace gasping awake - the medical staff simply move efficiently to remove the last of the tubes and slowly bring Grace back to the land of the living. Rocky and Simon are standing out of the way as they watch all this happen, Rocky is shifting back and forth making little clicks to hear better while Simon never looks away from Graceâs face. He sees Grace open his eyes for a few blinks, make eye contact with the nurse talking to him, nod a few times and then heâs out again.Â
And just like that, Simon feels like he can breathe a little easier.Â
Theyâre mostly left alone after that. A nurse still comes by every hour to do a quick check, but she never lingers and she always brings a new cup of water for Simon without asking. Simon and Rocky both park themselves on either side of his bed. Rocky is in one of his tunnels, working on something that Simon canât decipher. Occasionally he pauses and taps along the xenonite closest to Grace, to do a little check on him.Â
Simon is able to sit closer and keep a hand on Grace at all times while he works on video editing or reading through a book that someone left behind one day. He never lets go of his hands unless absolutely necessary. Iâm never letting you go again.Â
This continues for about a day before Rocky suddenly perks up and turns his full body around to face where Grace is laying.Â
âGrace heart rate changing.â
It takes a second for the meaning to register in Simonâs sleep deprived brain, only catching up when he notices the slight movement from the bed. Grace looks awake, blinking slowly at the light above him as his brain reboots and tries to make sense of what heâs seeing.Â
âGraceâŚ?â Simon asks softly when Grace doesnât immediately fall back asleep. There had been a few false starts, so to speak. Just brief moments of Grace waking up for only seconds at a time, but not really long enough to get much out of him. This time seems different though.Â
Slowly Grace's gaze slides over to where Simon is, his brow creasing in confusion.Â
âHey,â Simon keeps his voice low as he scoots closer, a smile already spreading across his face. âYou with me, Angel?â
â...Sâmon?â his throat sticks and catches on the attempt at his name, but Simon just nods encouragingly while reaching over to stroke along the sharp plane of his husband's face.Â
âYeah. Yeah, Angel itâs me. Itâs alright, just relax okay? Iâll get you some water.â Grace hums appreciatively and lets Simon do all the work, seemingly content to not worry about moving just yet.Â
âWhat happând?â he still sounds tired and out of it, but the water has helped his voice some. Grace is looking over at Simon like heâs not completely sure heâs real yet. â...wait.â
âWhatâs the last thing you remember, hon?â Simon cuts in before Grace can spiral too much.Â
âI wasâŚwait I was on Mary. Whereâs -â here he tries to sit up slightly, but Simon is quick to put a stop to that with soft shushing.Â
âEverythingâs okay, I promise. Taumeba is good and everything. And look! Rockyâs been here with me keeping watch too.â
Graceâs head snaps to the side now, eyes wide as he finally registers Rocky in his little tunnel. Rocky is predictably overjoyed at hearing his friend's voice again.Â
âFriend Grace is awake! Is all good! Happy happy happy happy!â
All Grace can seem to do is blink rapidly at the sight of Rocky dancing around excitedly. Simon only becomes worried when he notices tears starting to well up in his eyes.Â
â...Angel? Whatâs wrong?â
Grace looks over at Simon now, tears falling now as he reaches for Simon with a shaking hand. âRyland, please whatâs wrong?â
âYouâre real?â comes the quiet confession that shatters Simonâs heart. âThis isâŚreal? Iâm not - this isnât a dream?â
âYeah sweetheart, Iâm here. You made it back to earth. With Rocky and the Taumeba. You did it. You made it back - !â Simon finds himself cut off by the unexpected yank that has him tumbling face first into Grace.Â
Both are wrapping the other up in their arms as tightly as they can, while Grace openly sobs into Simon's shoulder. Heâs doing his best to curl up into Simon, arms and legs tucking in as close to him as Grace can get. Simon is reciprocating immediately, tucking his own arms around Grace and pulling him as gently as he can without pulling on any remaining wires attached to Grace. Heâs so relieved to have Grace in his arms, it takes a moment to register the words being sobbed into his shoulder.Â
âIâm so sorry. I never - never wanted to leave you. I wanted to stay so badly Simon -!â
All Simon can do is hold him tighter and press kisses to every part of him he can reach while assuaging his frantic ramblings with his own.Â
âI know you did, Angel. I know it wasnât your fault, itâs ok. Youâre here now and thatâs all that matters.â
Grace still sleeps too much and has too many nightmares for Simonâs liking. He also still doesnât remember everything from before the mission and there's a strong possibility he never will.Â
Rocky refuses to leave the room unless heâs eating, almost attacking Stratt when she asks to speak with Grace alone.Â
Simon isnât sleeping nearly enough, his own nightmares coming out to play on occasion.Â
Not to mention the whole ordeal that comes with alerting the rest of Graceâs family of his miraculate survival.Â
âGrace has more family, question!?
âWait, I do?â
âRocky thought Grace was only family besides Mate Simon!â
âOh fuck.â Simon has his head in his hands now. How the fuck is he supposed to not only tell his amnesiac husband he has not only a brother - but actually two brothers, a sister-in-law, and three nieces?Â
How he now also has to get in contact with all of them and tell them that Grace was alive? Yeah if Colt didnât kill him, Claire certainly would. Maybe the idea of meeting Rocky would distract them all long enough for Simon to run for safety.Â
(âWhat the fuck do you mean heâs alive!?âÂ
âColt, stop yelling.â
âNo!â)
It thankfully doesnât take much to get Colt on board for setting up a new house for him and Grace thatâs closer to them. The property next to them is for sale and theyâd been contemplating buying it anyway to expand their acreage for the few horses theyâve adopted, so changing that plan into making it a home for Simon and Grace? Done. It takes a lot more convincing from Simon and Jody to keep Colt from driving his stupid ass down to Texas and kidnapping Grace from the medical center. Then it takes some convincing of Simon and Grace for Jody to not drive herself down to Texas when itâs finally mentioned that Rocky was here too.Â
And so begins their unofficial lessons on family members. It's for Rocky as much as it is for Grace considering all the bullshit the Grace-Severs family has gone through over the last ten years.Â
âYou paying attention there, Rocky? Because this is your family now too.â
â...Rocky now Grace?â Simon is pretty sure he isnât imagining the emotional warbling to the soft notes that come out. Grace is smiling and tapping at the xenonite before Simon can reply.Â
âYeah of course you are, buddy! I donât know about you, but Rocky Grace-Severs sounds pretty cool.â
âWait - nieces? I didnâtâŚWe didnât have nieces before did we?â
âNo, they came after. Sort of. Colt and Jody had twin girls - yes the irony isnât lost on him. Maya and Lucy, they just turned eight. And then Courtland adopted Claire at some point. Still not actually sure if thatâs legal or not actually.âÂ
Grace is silent for a long time, hands clenching and un-clenching at one the blankets Simon had requested from their apartment.Â
It takes another week for Grace to be in any condition to get out of bed. And then almost another two for anyone to begin entertaining the idea of Grace leaving the medical bay.Â
No matter how much they all want to leave, no one is taking any risks with Grace's health right now. By some weird twist of fate it's Stratt who convinces Grace to stay put.Â
âAt the very least let us finish preparations for a more secure enclosure for Rocky.â
âWait, whatâs that supposed to mean?â
âIt means that with the help of your brother and husband, we have secured a home for you and are modifying it to also safely house Rocky.â
â...â
âDid you think we would try and keep him here?â
âI meanâŚa little?â
âI am many things Dr. Grace. But Iâd like to think Iâm not stupid enough to start earthâs first intergalactic war.âÂ
Moving from Texas to Northern California isnât an easy task even when one of the people isnât still recovering from several severe medical complications, and another is an alien rock spider who canât touch oxygen without catching on fire. Simon is lucky Stratt is willing to provide everything they need to do this move. As much as he hates having to rely on her for this, he is grateful. Grace says itâs the least she could do considering.Â
Itâs a long and drawn-out process that leaves everyone stressed out and overstimulated for nearly a month after they finally reach their destination. Simon misses the apartment, but the house is so much better (and safer) for Grace and Rocky that he canât really complain too much. Simon and Colt go back to the apartment one weekend with a moving company to pack everything up and for Simon to say goodbye to his neighbors. Grace is able to come up for a day to also see the apartment one last time.Â
âI remember some of itâŚItâs mostly the feelings though. Things I felt with you.â
But the house is done and updated to their preferences. Grace loves it. Heâs still mostly in a wheelchair these days and the bigger layout helps immensely with his mobility. Itâs now also interspersed with tubes for Rocky to move around freely, including a whole other dome thatâs just for him to inhabit outside the house. Simon is begrudgingly impressed.Â
Rocky loves the new tunnels. The moment heâs released into the new enclosure heâs sprinting and knocking into every corner in his excitement to explore. Whatever heâs said is screamed at a pitch the translator canât quite keep up with, so Simon and Grace get to lounge in their new living room and bear witness to this 300lbs alien getting the zoomies for the first time in almost 50 years.Â
â...should we stop him?â
âNah let him have his fun.â
Colt and Jody at least manage to keep away for about a week before they canât keep their daughters away any longer. Grace is already parked on the couch with whatâs probably far too many pillows but is too comfortable to really complain about it when the front door slams open and Colt comes stumbling in after two energetic eight-year olds. Some things never change, Grace thinks as he watches his brother try and fail to wrangle the girls who are gone as soon as they hear Simon in the kitchen. Jody follows at a far more normal pace, closing the door behind her with a grin.Â
âRyland!â She makes her way over to him, stepping over her fallen husband, to pull him into a hug. âOh Iâm so happy to see you! Sorry about the noise.â
âHi Jody.â He's hugging her back as tightly as he can manage from this angle. âThe noise is nice, I donât mind it.â
âYouâll regret that.â Colt's voice from the floor. Heâs managed to pick himself up with a grimace as he plops down next to Grace.They can hear excited chatter in the kitchen, followed by Simon's lower voice as he answers all the questions thrown at him. Grace is more than a little in love with the whole scene.Â
The questions are cut off by excited squeals when the familiar modulated voice of Rockyâs translator suddenly appears from the back of the house.
âOoo! Seaver Children are identical! Just like Grace and Colt! Amaze amaze amaze!âÂ
âI think thatâs the sound of Simon losing his title of favorite uncle.âÂ
8 Years after Ryland Grace and Rocky return to earth, Eva Stratt shows up on their doorstep once again. Her hair is almost entirely white now, but there are soft lines to her face Grace hasnât seen before.Â
âArenât you retired?â he asks her, leaning against the doorframe.Â
âOf course. But I wanted to tell you about this myself.âÂ
Grace nods and lets her in, as much as he knows Simon wonât like it. Heâs got his cane today, joints protesting with the cold weather as he slowly leads her to the kitchen. âTea? Coffee?â
âTea please, if itâs not too much trouble.â He shakes his head and waves her off, geting to work on setting up the kettle. Simon is off with Maya and Lucy doing some sort of school shopping before the winter break ends, and Rocky isâŚelsewhere in the house. Heâll make an appearance soon, Grace is sure.Â
Once tea is made and theyâre both sitting at the little breakfast nook, Grace finally looks over at Stratt. âAlright then, letâs hear it. What happened this time?âÂ
A blip has been detected on the edge of their solar system and itâs come from the direction of 40 Eridani. Projected arrival to earth is approximately 3 months.Â
When they make the decision to come back to earth, Rocky fills the two remaining Beatles with information logs that he knows Erids scientists will be able to understand. He tells them everything - what happened to the crew of Blip A and why, relativity, fishing for the Taumeba, a private message for Adrian and most importantly the weird leaky space blob named after mercy from another solar system who saved his life more than once.Â
He also inscribes the airlock of the Blip A with a memorial plaque for the remaining 22 Eridians who started this journey with him.Â
Rocky does not expect to see Erid for many decades. He only plans to consider leaving after Grace dies (not that he likes that idea at all). None of them ever expect Erid to come to him.Â
The entire Grace-Severs family make the journey to Pasadena in order to act as translators and ambassadors for earth. Itâs not the first time Grace and Rocky have left the Bay Area, but itâs the first time itâs going to be for longer than a week so the entire damn-family decided to tag along too. Even Court and Claire meet them at the assigned warehouse that is acting as a meeting room for humans and eridians.Â
Rocky is already in the larger enclosure, anxiously moving about. He occasionally moved items around as if checking to ensure they were up to standard. Grace would be doing the same if he weren't on the other side of the xenonite.Â
The Eridian delegation had touched down last night and were now expected to arrive through the other airlock in about 10 minutes.Â
This is fine, everything is fine, Rocky can do this -Â
The airlock opens.Â
- Rocky cannot do this.Â
The eridian stepping through is not only early, but alone. They are also massive compared to Rocky. It makes Grace and Simon share a look, before they turn their attention back to the as of yet unnamed eridian. They are also a very familiar shade of blue-green that has Grace narrowing his eyes in suspicion.Â
The translator Simon completed years ago is mostly tuned to Rocky and his specific pitch, so it takes a second for it to begin translating this new voice in complete sentences.Â
â- my harmony, you are -?â
Rocky is making sounds Grace has never heard before as he seemingly collapses to the floor. It has Grace standing up in alarm, worried his friend has fallen asleep suddenly or worse -
But this blue eridian only scuttles closer and easily scoops Rocky up with soft coos, their carapaces bumping against each other hard enough to make the humans watching wince.Â
And, yup. Grace grins at the sight as his suspicions are confirmed. Two matching wedding bands are finally slotted back together again after nearly a century of waiting.Â
âI donât get it?â comes Simonâs hushed whisper from next to Grace. Grace can only lean against his husband, letting the tears in his eyes fall at sight before him.Â
âLook closer - â Grace points to where the eridianâs arms are interlocked â - this is Adrian.â
i did it, I'm done with this thing that's been plaguing my brain for like a week.
Easily the longest one-shot I've ever written.
But I hope you all enjoyed reading! Thank you again idgabuck for creating all these wonderful AUs, seriously go check them out if you haven't already đ
It your bday so I was wondering what SimonSays birthday would look like too!
ââââââââââââââââ-
Also what Grace was talking about because Iâm also a huge nerd!
A year is one rotation around the sun but the planets vary in how long is one rotation. It takes Mars almost double (1.88x) the amount of time than earth to go around the sun.
So if your 10 in earth years you will be ~5yrs old on Mars!
This phenomenon is due to Keplerâs 3 laws (which were used to discovery gravity!!)
Hereâs a very basic explanation of each law
Law 1: planets orbit in an ellipse (oval shape) not a circle, with the sun at one of two the foci (not the center, more like center of a half of ellipse).
Law 2: the speed at which they orbit isnât constant! Closer to the sun (perihelion) the faster and farthest from the sun (aphelion) the slower.
Law 3: P^2=A^3
P= planets orbital period (time it takes to orbit the sun aka a year)
A= semi-major axis (avg distance from the sun)
This boils down to the further from the sun the longer it takes to orbit it! Yay math!
Source!
Kepler realized that the orbits of the planets are not perfect circles. His brilliant insight was that planets move in ellipses.
And a fun website to see your age on any planet in our solar system (and Pluto!!)
Search up :Your Age on Other Worlds
Or use link: https://www.exploratorium.edu/explore/solar-system/age
Streamer Simon headcanons because I know you all love it (I do too)
- Simon 100% loves all the fanart of him and he will make streams where he reacts to it.
- before Grace shows his face on camera for the first time, people make fanart of what they think he looks like and him and Simon scroll looking through them all in bed and they panic at one fanart because holy shit thatâs actually so close to what Grace looks like itâs a little scary. Grace assumes that itâs one of his students who created it (it wasnât.)
- The day Grace finally reveals his face in camera in a video he does with Simon, that artist freaks the fuck out and goes viral because âWHAT DO YOU MEAN I WAS CLOSE?!â
- Simon 1000% reads fanfiction about himself because in chat one day, someone asks him if heâs seen the fanfiction people have written about him and his husband. It started off as a joke to see if they got Grace accurate but some of the stuff he reads actually has him sobbing because itâs so sweet but also âyes that is 100% something you do, Star! Donât deny it!â
- Simon jokes that his husband is taller than him one stream and his chat 100% types âisnât everybody though?â Simon swears he can hear Grace laugh from the other room.
- Grace in this AU does have an account he uses to watch Simon stream on and when he comments in the chat (his username is The_Papa_Star_27) everyone goes crazy. Especially when Simon reads the flirty chats Grace sends his way and Simon goes absolutely feral.
- sometimes grace mods his streams for Simon when heâs not busy doing paperwork, if not, someone else does it.
- Simon one day whilst streaming, hears Grace coming into the house and says âchat hang on a second.â And he rushes to go see Grace whoâs holding a makeup bag and Grace tells him shyly and a little nervously that he wanted to try some lipstick. He puts it on and Simon volunteers happily for him to test it out on him. Needless to say, Simon strolls back into his streaming room with lipstick marks all over his face with a dazed look and saying âmy husband brought this lipstick. It works.â
- speaking of, in my mind Grace AND Simon test out makeup for fun because fuck gender ok?!
- Simon has been banned from rage games. Donât ask.
Ignoring all the dark angsty tags because I already saw the âhappy endingâ tag and I donât care how bad the situations theyâre put in are as long as they get their happy ending
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Qualityâ Free Actions
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming