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[ID: Two tweets from blue @/bluewmist. First tweet reads, "the fastest way to kill motivation is to make your identity depend on the outcome. it's called ego involvement. when failing becomes failing as a person, your brain starts avoiding the whole thing. not because you don't care, but because you care too much." Second tweet reads, "you don't need lower standards. you need less self-worth tangled up in your goals. the work gets easier when it's not about proving who you are." End ID]
You actually just have to accept that it is possible for people in your social group to be abusers even if you are not literally Jeffrey Epstein and in fact even if you have no money and all of the odds stacked against you.
It is true that money and power enables abuse on a grand scale, but the converse is not true— having no money and no power does not make abuse less likely. I think many of us know this from experience. There is no special moral quality to being poor or being oppressed. Oppressed people abuse each other all the fucking time, in families and relationships and friendships. People of color abuse each other. Women abuse each other. Gay people and trans people abuse each other.
Cesar Chavez raped the women and girls of the labor rights movement throughout his career, using worker solidarity as a bludgeoning tool to ensure their silence.
If you say “people in my group don’t do this, it’s the powerful men that do it” then you harm yourself in several ways.
1. You signal to your social circle that you do not hold them to any standard of behavior. You have preemptively pledged loyalty, which means that if they behave objectionably, any objection on your part will mean a betrayal of your community.
2. You mark yourself as socially permissive. People in your social group know that you are, at baseline, unwilling to accept or act on allegations against them. To be frank, this makes you very easy to take advantage of, whether in service of abusing someone else or abusing you directly.
And you harm other people by telling a lie. What about all of the people who have been abused by a person within this oppressed group? They have it reiterated that their abuse cannot be spoken about, for the sake of solidarity.
Everybody on this earth has the potential to do immeasurable harm to another person just as they have the potential to do good. You can— and in fact I would say you must— advocate and fight for the rights of your people without making yourself into a useful tool for bad actors within your community.
Hi there again. I'm Casi. I'm a disabled Enby who is the only caregiver for my elderly disabled mother, and we're Homeless.
Mom is 70yrs old and has chronic bronchitis and arthritis and Mobility issues, and I'm chronically ill and multiply disabled myself. Where we live has already had multiple days of 105°F (40°C) temperatures throughout the Spring, its gonna be a hot summer. We cannot be on the Streets.
I have us in a Hotel because its the safest option for us. We have no family that can put us up for even a night and while I'm always on the lookout for outreach groups and programs we might qualify for, at this point we're on our own.[ and incredibly grateful for all the kind and generous support to help us through]
But the rates have gone up to Summer Prices which will make things a little more difficult than they already are. The Current rate is $98.30 a day / $688.03 a Week.
Moms Social Security is our only stable income apart from donations and my Redbubble and Ko-Fi shops where I sell my art. I've been looking for stable work but its always been a joke that there "more people than jobs" in this town and that's even truer now than ever, and without any transportation I can't even do Odd Jobs or Gigwork.[cant doordash on foot, can't to yardwork on the other side of town if I cant get myself there and back safely etc...]
Moms income will only cover 12 days of the month, and that's without putting any of that towards Meds or Groceries. We do get $290 SNAP/Food Stamps, on the 9th, but with the prices of everything between absofuckinglutly ridiculous, that too, only goes so far.
Literally Any Amount of Help would be incredibly appreciated. Really and Truly.
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My fiance and I are having multiple surgeries soon. We dont have dates yet, but we are told to expect consults within the next month or so, and to expect things to move quick after. These surgeries are gender affirming, but they're being pushed through so quickly because they're also going to treat severe, life affecting medical conditions we both have. This is amazing, especially because insurance will cover most of the medical costs.
But there's one massive issue. Hospitals generally cannot feed us. So we need to bring our own food which is going to be incredibly expensive (breakdown below the cut) and on top of that, weve been prescribed medication that insurance wont cover, so we need $85 for that.
I do art as seen below, I have a patreon and kofi for those. I have a GFM up to help with this and that explains a lot more too. If you'd like to help outright, here are some links.
PP V $C
Not being able to eat in hospitals is due to severe allergies, we've dealt with it before. We are allergic to several major allergens. The post i linked above has a lot of more specific info. The best thing we can do to assure we are able to eat during our hospital stays is to buy and bring pre-packaged/microwavable food. Doing this for a week has cost up to $300 before. We are currently looking at needing at least 4 weeks in the hospital.
We start a new gig soon which should help to cover household expenses but the medical stuff is still very urgent.
$5 has been recieved since this was posted. I had posted previously about needing medications for both myself and my fiance that insurance wouldn't cover, we got mind, and we arent far from gettinf his. We are currently estimating between the med for him that insurance won't cover and the food for the weeks in the hospital after surgeries, we will need $1,245. Obviously insurance hasn't yet processed everything, but insurance is expected to cover everything else. All things considered, this is extremely cheap for a handful of gender affirming surgeries + surgeries that will treat long term organ damaging health issues. It is also not something we can achieve by ourselves.
Huge thank you to anyone who shares or helps. It feels really surreal to be getting all this scheduled during pride month in an increasingly fascist country.
We are going into town today for appointments. If we get $45 while we are there, we could pick up my fiances meds that insurance won't cover. Generally, my entire week is back-to-back medical appointments.
Yesterday we got $115 to the GFM! It hasn't hit my acct yet, so it doesn't help us get his meds today, but it is amazing progress to us being able to eat after surgery!!! Again, massive thanks again to those sharing and helping with this.
A quick guide for trans people who are using/ forced to use the disabled toilet due to transphobic bullshit in the UK when you wouldn’t otherwise need to do so. From a transgender wheelchair user who has given this topic a lot of thought.
Remember you are a guest in this space. I don’t know a single person who would rather you shit yourself or get assaulted than use the disabled toilet, but please remember that these toilets are built and designed for disabled people after a huge amount of campaigning and activism.
Don’t touch or move things you don’t need to. If you’re not familiar with how things work or why they are where they are just leave it be. The position of a bin might not mean anything to you but it could be really important to a wheelchair user who needs to change their tampon. Don’t touch things like grab rails either – while they’re fairly tough and you’re unlikely to cause any damage it’s not impossible and if you don’t touch it, you can’t break it.
Related, but important enough to have its own point: please don’t touch the red cord. Do not tie it up, do not wrap it around anything, don’t tuck it behind a bin. Don’t touch it (The only exception to this is to untie a cord that’s been tied up) If the cord doesn’t fall freely to the floor it could prevent a disabled person calling for help in an emergency. If you’re worried about accidentally pulling it there’s almost always at least one reset button in there with you. Press that and it cancels the alarm.
If possible allow other people waiting to go first. A lot of disabilities, both visible and less apparent, can cause problems with incontinence, urgency or pain that make it difficult for someone to wait to use the toilet. If there’s someone else in the queue and you are able to do so, offering to let them go first might really help them out.
If you want to get a radar key, get it from disability rights UK or give a small donation to a disability charity (again only if you’re able to). I’ve seen a couple of trans orgs giving away free radar keys and it’s unclear how they are being sourced. Knockoffs are common but only “real” RADAR keys are from Disability Rights UK and any profits help fund their charity work. Bear in mind that most disabled people also have to pay for these keys which are about £5. (Disability Rights UK say their keys are to be sold to disabled people or organisations only, this is a legal thing they have to say about VAT relief. There is no real way of following up how disabled someone who buys a radar key is because you don’t need to claim any benefits to be eligible for VAT relief and keys are a low value item that isn’t worth anyone looking into when things like adapted cars exist. Be gay, do crime, support disabled people having rights.)
Know the difference between a standard accessible toilet and a changing places toilet. Don’t use a changing places toilet if there is any other safe option. These have a different symbol and are bigger and fitted with extra equipment for severely disabled people and our carers. That equipment is more sensitive than anything you’ll find in a standard accessible toilet so if you do find yourself in one touch nothing. Especially don’t move the hoist (lifting equipment) as it can cause it to run out of power and make the whole space functionally useless if it’s not in the right space on the track. (To be fair this is an unlikely scenario as there aren’t that many of these toilets, but just in case)
Don’t suggest renaming accessible toilets. They’re primarily there for disabled people who can’t use an alternative, and disabled people will be looking for an accessible toilet. For most spaces you can look for an accessible toilet and have a good chance of finding a gender neutral space, but that doesn’t work the other way around. Calling it an “inclusive toilet” or “gender neutral toilet” tells me absolutely nothing about whether my wheelchair will fit.
A quick guide for trans people who are using/ forced to use the disabled toilet due to transphobic bullshit in the UK when you wouldn’t otherwise need to do so. From a transgender wheelchair user who has given this topic a lot of thought.
Remember you are a guest in this space. I don’t know a single person who would rather you shit yourself or get assaulted than use the disabled toilet, but please remember that these toilets are built and designed for disabled people after a huge amount of campaigning and activism.
Don’t touch or move things you don’t need to. If you’re not familiar with how things work or why they are where they are just leave it be. The position of a bin might not mean anything to you but it could be really important to a wheelchair user who needs to change their tampon. Don’t touch things like grab rails either – while they’re fairly tough and you’re unlikely to cause any damage it’s not impossible and if you don’t touch it, you can’t break it.
Related, but important enough to have its own point: please don’t touch the red cord. Do not tie it up, do not wrap it around anything, don’t tuck it behind a bin. Don’t touch it (The only exception to this is to untie a cord that’s been tied up) If the cord doesn’t fall freely to the floor it could prevent a disabled person calling for help in an emergency. If you’re worried about accidentally pulling it there’s almost always at least one reset button in there with you. Press that and it cancels the alarm.
If possible allow other people waiting to go first. A lot of disabilities, both visible and less apparent, can cause problems with incontinence, urgency or pain that make it difficult for someone to wait to use the toilet. If there’s someone else in the queue and you are able to do so, offering to let them go first might really help them out.
If you want to get a radar key, get it from disability rights UK or give a small donation to a disability charity (again only if you’re able to). I’ve seen a couple of trans orgs giving away free radar keys and it’s unclear how they are being sourced. Knockoffs are common but only “real” RADAR keys are from Disability Rights UK and any profits help fund their charity work. Bear in mind that most disabled people also have to pay for these keys which are about £5. (Disability Rights UK say their keys are to be sold to disabled people or organisations only, this is a legal thing they have to say about VAT relief. There is no real way of following up how disabled someone who buys a radar key is because you don’t need to claim any benefits to be eligible for VAT relief and keys are a low value item that isn’t worth anyone looking into when things like adapted cars exist. Be gay, do crime, support disabled people having rights.)
Know the difference between a standard accessible toilet and a changing places toilet. Don’t use a changing places toilet if there is any other safe option. These have a different symbol and are bigger and fitted with extra equipment for severely disabled people and our carers. That equipment is more sensitive than anything you’ll find in a standard accessible toilet so if you do find yourself in one touch nothing. Especially don’t move the hoist (lifting equipment) as it can cause it to run out of power and make the whole space functionally useless if it’s not in the right space on the track. (To be fair this is an unlikely scenario as there aren’t that many of these toilets, but just in case)
Don’t suggest renaming accessible toilets. They’re primarily there for disabled people who can’t use an alternative, and disabled people will be looking for an accessible toilet. For most spaces you can look for an accessible toilet and have a good chance of finding a gender neutral space, but that doesn’t work the other way around. Calling it an “inclusive toilet” or “gender neutral toilet” tells me absolutely nothing about whether my wheelchair will fit.
P1: someone bleeding, trapped under a large boulder and crying. they're talking to someone with a shirt labelled "rock rescue." the text reads:
person under boulder: Can you please help me? I'm trapped under this boulder and it REALLY hurts!
rock rescue: You should try cognitive behavioral therapy! Anxiety can make the pain worse which causes a feedback loop.
person under boulder: can we please get the boulder off first
rock rescue: no
P2: the injured person, no longer trapped. they're bandaged and using crutches, talking to someone with a clipboard who's standing next to another boulder. the text reads:
clipboard person: I'm going to need you to get under this boulder!
injured person: why would I do that
clipboard person: It's the only way to get better! you need to build up your tolerance to being under boulders! how can you live a happy life if you can't endure being under a boulder?
injured person: you don't have a boulder
clipboard person: you don't want to get better. you won't get better if you don't cooperate.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
My fiance and I are having multiple surgeries soon. We dont have dates yet, but we are told to expect consults within the next month or so, and to expect things to move quick after. These surgeries are gender affirming, but they're being pushed through so quickly because they're also going to treat severe, life affecting medical conditions we both have. This is amazing, especially because insurance will cover most of the medical costs.
But there's one massive issue. Hospitals generally cannot feed us. So we need to bring our own food which is going to be incredibly expensive (breakdown below the cut) and on top of that, weve been prescribed medication that insurance wont cover, so we need $85 for that.
I do art as seen below, I have a patreon and kofi for those. I have a GFM up to help with this and that explains a lot more too. If you'd like to help outright, here are some links.
PP V $C
Not being able to eat in hospitals is due to severe allergies, we've dealt with it before. We are allergic to several major allergens. The post i linked above has a lot of more specific info. The best thing we can do to assure we are able to eat during our hospital stays is to buy and bring pre-packaged/microwavable food. Doing this for a week has cost up to $300 before. We are currently looking at needing at least 4 weeks in the hospital.
We start a new gig soon which should help to cover household expenses but the medical stuff is still very urgent.
$5 has been recieved since this was posted. I had posted previously about needing medications for both myself and my fiance that insurance wouldn't cover, we got mind, and we arent far from gettinf his. We are currently estimating between the med for him that insurance won't cover and the food for the weeks in the hospital after surgeries, we will need $1,245. Obviously insurance hasn't yet processed everything, but insurance is expected to cover everything else. All things considered, this is extremely cheap for a handful of gender affirming surgeries + surgeries that will treat long term organ damaging health issues. It is also not something we can achieve by ourselves.
Huge thank you to anyone who shares or helps. It feels really surreal to be getting all this scheduled during pride month in an increasingly fascist country.
i do find the rules around clothes fascinating because of how made up it all is. we invented the idea of covering our bodies from the elements because we lack fur like other mammals and then made up all these rules around it and now people will unironically tell you "men cant wear skirts its unnatural" girl none of this is natural. we are born naked and made up the rest as we went along. hope this helps.
Transphobia is about to be signed into law in the UK. We can fight this.
I am begging the UK trans community and its allies to attend the Mass Lobby at Parliament on June 25th, 11am-4pm, organised by Trans Solidarity Alliance.
Last year we broke the record for an LGBT+ mass lobby of Parliament. Will you help us break it again? Join us on 25th June 2026 to demand be
The new EHRC Code of Practice pushes trans people out of toilets, hospital wards, and community spaces. It normalises gender policing based on appearance and stereotypes. It becomes statutory guidance in the UK by the end of June.
Trans people are now legally their assigned gender at birth and must join gendered spaces accordingly, but if they are perceived as their lived gender, they can also be ejected from those spaces. The guidance says: either break the law, or don’t pass too well.
A mass lobby is where you invite your MP to discuss your concerns with you in-person. Ask your MP to:
Demand full parliamentary scrutiny, debate, and use their free vote on the EHRC Code of Practice.
Support any motions rejecting the EHRC guidance. As of June 4th, Labour MP Nadia Whittome has submitted a prayer motion - Early Day Motion 240.
Write to Bridget Phillipson, the Minister for Women and Equalities about our concerns
Your MP does not have to be an ally, they do not have to respond to your email for you to show up and greencard them (details below the cut.) What matters is that as many people as possible show up.
I cannot stress this enough: Showing up in person matters. It is much more effective than petitions, emails, and letters.
It is a horrible, stressful time, and I am so sorry if you're trans and live in the UK. But I was at last year's mass lobby and the line for greencarding alone stretched around the back gates. It was a record breaking mass lobby and made us impossible to ignore. Let's do even better this time. Details under the cut:
Worried about what to say?
Bring your personal worries about transphobia being signed into law, and trans friends being excluded from public spaces. You are a living person who deserves dignity. Remind your MP of that. You will also get guidance and brochures from Trans Solidarity Alliance that outlines our demands. This is mine from last year.
Money issues?
Trans Solidarity Alliance provides a travel bursary that you can sign up for via the link.
Got a refusal or no response from your MP?
Come anyway! You can request a same-day appointment with your MP through a process called greencarding. They will come and see you if they’re already in Parliament. Even if they don’t, they’re made acutely aware of your cause because you showed up in person. This is my greencard from last year.
Here is the EHRC Code of Practice in full. It's a tough read, but some highlights are:
Organisations can’t provide trans-inclusive, single-sex services, or they risk being sued for discrimination.
e.g. domestic violence support for women including trans women, men’s rugby group including trans men (12.68).
Trans people will have nowhere safe to pee.
If you’re a trans man, businesses can't allow you to pee in the men's, and you can also be ejected from women’s bathrooms if you’re perceived as a man. Vice versa for trans women. EHRC suggests a ‘third space’ bathroom, which is discriminatory and unworkable for most businesses. (13.130-133)
Sports organisations must exclude trans people from single-sex competitions (13.73).
A women’s only sports competition must exclude trans women because of their biological advantage or face potential lawsuits (13.74), but a trans man who has undergone testosterone treatment can also be excluded based on fairness rules (13.81).
Trans women are stripped of the legal definition of ‘lesbian’, and therefore no longer have legal protections if they’re discriminated against on the basis of sexual orientation. (2.50, 2.92).
Here is the Good Law Project's better explanation of the EHRC Code.
I have also made a PDF printout of QR codes for the government petition, email your MP tool, and mass lobby link to pass around your communities. DM me and I'll send it to you.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Anya is LIVE right now
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A mother’s worst nightmare is watching her children wither away from severe malnutrition and extreme hunger. Inside our fragile tent, my children, Qamar and Omar—including my 3-month-old baby—struggle with agonizing skin rashes and harsh hunger every single day. Since my husband suffered a head injury, I have become the sole provider, but my hands are completely tied. We have no backup plan and no other escape; this campaign is our last hope for survival. Any dollar can secure milk, bread, vegetables, and the vital medical treatment for my little ones' skin.
My name is Samar. I write from a fragile tent in Gaza, a mother who loves her two little children with all her heart. My husband is severely
the thing is like men and men really cant be friends because the sex part does always get in the way like thats true. and i mean that like im actually dead serious about that
like have you ever seen two straight men attempt to be friends with each other but the gay sex they arent having is literally preventing them from the transformative healing power of friendship. this is real
i dont even mean this in a "they want to fuck each other" way (although many of them do and will never know it) i mean that like the fact that gay sex is even hypothetically possible between them makes it loom over their friendship like it genuinely haunts them that they could be having it. gay sex is the elephant in the room every time they attempt to be emotionally vulnerable with one another, every time they let a hug linger too long. they cannot address its existence and so there is always something in their way, preventing true connection. and that something is the gay sex. that they are not having. the elephant of gay sex
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