the thing is like men and men really cant be friends because the sex part does always get in the way like thats true. and i mean that like im actually dead serious about that
like have you ever seen two straight men attempt to be friends with each other but the gay sex they arent having is literally preventing them from the transformative healing power of friendship. this is real
i dont even mean this in a "they want to fuck each other" way (although many of them do and will never know it) i mean that like the fact that gay sex is even hypothetically possible between them makes it loom over their friendship like it genuinely haunts them that they could be having it. gay sex is the elephant in the room every time they attempt to be emotionally vulnerable with one another, every time they let a hug linger too long. they cannot address its existence and so there is always something in their way, preventing true connection. and that something is the gay sex. that they are not having. the elephant of gay sex
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after extensive trial-and-error testing, I'm beginning to suspect that there may be some material correlation between staying up super late at night and how I feel when my alarm goes off the next morning
My fiance and I are having multiple surgeries soon. We dont have dates yet, but we are told to expect consults within the next month or so, and to expect things to move quick after. These surgeries are gender affirming, but they're being pushed through so quickly because they're also going to treat severe, life affecting medical conditions we both have. This is amazing, especially because insurance will cover most of the medical costs.
But there's one massive issue. Hospitals generally cannot feed us. So we need to bring our own food which is going to be incredibly expensive (breakdown below the cut) and on top of that, weve been prescribed medication that insurance wont cover, so we need $85 for that.
I do art as seen below, I have a patreon and kofi for those. I have a GFM up to help with this and that explains a lot more too. If you'd like to help outright, here are some links.
PP V $C
Not being able to eat in hospitals is due to severe allergies, we've dealt with it before. We are allergic to several major allergens. The post i linked above has a lot of more specific info. The best thing we can do to assure we are able to eat during our hospital stays is to buy and bring pre-packaged/microwavable food. Doing this for a week has cost up to $300 before. We are currently looking at needing at least 4 weeks in the hospital.
We start a new gig soon which should help to cover household expenses but the medical stuff is still very urgent.
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listen to me, this is so so important: you've gotta get used to really giving it your 60% as a default. like don't half-ass it necessarily but try not to go over 70% or so of an ass. you'll feel better and live a happier more fulfilled life, and on the rare occasions where you do need to lock the fuck in you'll be able to pull off bullshit that the sad miserable wretches giving it their 100% can never dream of, because they're busy draining themselves dry and you have energy reserves to spare.
"I confess that I disappeared from speaking about my campaign for a while, not because I no longer needed help, but because despair had taken hold. I felt like I was knocking on the same doors repeatedly without success, and I felt the dream of years of study, hard work, and toil crumbling before my eyes, powerless to save it. During this time, I looked at my wife and children and felt the weight of responsibility on my chest every day. Nothing is harder than seeing your family in need when you don't have enough to provide them with the security they deserve. But despite everything, today I decided not to give up. I decided to come back and ask for help again because I still believe that there are kind-hearted people in this world, and that goodness still exists. I'm not raising money for luxury, travel, or extravagance; I'm trying to get back on my feet and rebuild my pharmacy, which was my livelihood and that of my family. I'm trying to reclaim my life, my dignity, and my ability to support my wife and children through my own hard work, instead of remaining helpless in the face of their needs. If you hear my story, please don't just ignore it." Dear friends, a small donation from you might not seem like much, but it could be a real step towards saving the future of an entire family. And if you can't donate, sharing this post might reach someone who can help.
Today I return carrying what little hope remains, and I pray that this hope will not be lost. I ask God to bless every hand extended in kindness, and to reward all those who stand with us with the best of rewards ... 💔💔💔
My name is Ahmed, and I am writing these words from Gaza after the war changed everything in my life. I lost my leg and now live with a permanent disability, but that is not the hardest thing I have lost. The hardest part is watching my child grow up surrounded by fear and deprivation, and sometimes being unable to provide even the most basic necessities for him.
Every morning, I wake up to a reality I never chose. I live among destruction, displacement, and physical pain, yet I keep fighting to hold on to hope for my son's future. While others celebrate holidays and special occasions, we spend our days wondering how we will find food, medicine, and safety for another day.
I am not asking for pity. I am asking for a chance to live. I am asking you to hear my voice and help my story reach as many people as possible. A single share could make a difference in our lives and help us receive the support we desperately need.
Please do not scroll past my story in silence. Share it, spread it, and be a voice for a family struggling to survive under circumstances that words can barely describe.
Thank you for taking the time to read my story. ❤️
My campaign has been verified and approved under verification number #23 Any support, donation, or share can make a real difference for me and my family. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. 🙏
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Look, I get what you're saying, but sometimes you've gotta reach for the low-hanging fruit. Let's get you a proper meal, refill your meds, and unfuck your living space as best we're able; if after that you still want cute girls to kill you with axes, you'll be in a much better physical and mental place to pursue that goal.
So can non-disabled people stop doing that thing where they act like it’s morally righteous to force yourself to work while you’re sick and assume taking sick days automatically equates to laziness. Any time now. That’d be great
The leader of the scout group I help out at approached me out of hours while I was walking to work to tell me that people have been talking behind my back because I missed more sessions than I attended this term (on account of having Covid twice) and was like “We all show up when we’re sick because we take responsibility” and I felt really shitty and guilty and cried the whole workday then I got home and told my mum and she was like “So they want you to throw up on the kids? That’s dodgy. They don’t even pay you. Stop going” and a wave of serenity hit me like a bus
[Image ID: Series of Bluesky posts from verified user Kat Tenbarge (@/ katTenbarge.bsky.social) on Apr 19, 2026 reading: At a time when mass surveillance and autonomous weapons companies like Palantir are openly announcing their plans for violent world domination, it is crucial that our attempts at "big tech reform" don't actually give them more power—ie via government mandated age verification/identity software
A lot of our big "we're gonna hold big tech accountable" bills actually hand them + the government unprecedented power to track, censor, and deplatform internet users—and would require us to link our identities to everything we do online, meaning no more privacy. Greatly reducing opposition to them
And the big cultural push around "big tech reform" is the idea that we're protecting children from the harms of big tech, when we're actually giving big tech the very power they seek to destroy the world for all children. And that is no longer hyperbolic when Palantir is announcing it via manifesto /End ID]
A lifesaving injection given at birth to prevent severe bleeding has become collateral damage of the anti-vaccine movement.
talk to your coworkers about this. remember that the "taking advice from everyone except the experts" thing cuts both ways. you can be the non-expert guy at work who isnt an expert and gives someone advice they decide to follow based on vibes, but your advice can be the right advice instead. this is something we can all do.
the vitamin k shot has zero side effects, it is literally just a vitamin that does nothing except prevent babies from bleeding to death internally. its one of those things that does absolutely nothing except what it's supposed to do, is cheap, and has drastically reduced infant mortality this century and the last
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Transphobia is about to be signed into law in the UK. We can fight this.
I am begging the UK trans community and its allies to attend the Mass Lobby at Parliament on June 25th, 11am-4pm, organised by Trans Solidarity Alliance.
Last year we broke the record for an LGBT+ mass lobby of Parliament. Will you help us break it again? Join us on 25th June 2026 to demand be
The new EHRC Code of Practice pushes trans people out of toilets, hospital wards, and community spaces. It normalises gender policing based on appearance and stereotypes. It becomes statutory guidance in the UK by the end of June.
Trans people are now legally their assigned gender at birth and must join gendered spaces accordingly, but if they are perceived as their lived gender, they can also be ejected from those spaces. The guidance says: either break the law, or don’t pass too well.
A mass lobby is where you invite your MP to discuss your concerns with you in-person. Ask your MP to:
Demand full parliamentary scrutiny, debate, and use their free vote on the EHRC Code of Practice.
Support any motions rejecting the EHRC guidance. As of June 4th, Labour MP Nadia Whittome has submitted a prayer motion - Early Day Motion 240, please ask your MP to sign this.
Write to Bridget Phillipson, the Minister for Women and Equalities about our concerns
Your MP does not have to be an ally, they do not have to respond to your email for you to show up and greencard them (details below the cut.) What matters is that as many people as possible show up.
I cannot stress this enough: Showing up in person matters. It is much more effective than petitions, emails, and letters.
It is a horrible, stressful time, and I am so sorry if you're trans and live in the UK. But I was at last year's mass lobby and the line for greencarding alone stretched around the back gates. It was a record breaking mass lobby and made us impossible to ignore. Let's do even better this time. Details under the cut:
Worried about what to say?
Bring your personal worries about transphobia being signed into law, and trans friends being excluded from public spaces. You are a living person who deserves dignity. Remind your MP of that. You will also get guidance and brochures from Trans Solidarity Alliance that outlines our demands. This is mine from last year.
Money issues?
Trans Solidarity Alliance provides a travel bursary that you can sign up for via the link.
Got a refusal or no response from your MP?
Come anyway! You can request a same-day appointment with your MP through a process called greencarding. They will come and see you if they’re already in Parliament. Even if they don’t, they’re made acutely aware of your cause because you showed up in person. This is my greencard from last year.
Here is the EHRC Code of Practice in full. It's a tough read, but some highlights are:
Organisations can’t provide trans-inclusive, single-sex services, or they risk being sued for discrimination.
e.g. domestic violence support for women including trans women, men’s rugby group including trans men (12.68).
Trans people will have nowhere safe to pee.
If you’re a trans man, businesses can't allow you to pee in the men's, and you can also be ejected from women’s bathrooms if you’re perceived as a man. Vice versa for trans women. EHRC suggests a ‘third space’ bathroom, which is discriminatory and unworkable for most businesses. (13.130-133)
Sports organisations must exclude trans people from single-sex competitions (13.73).
A women’s only sports competition must exclude trans women because of their biological advantage or face potential lawsuits (13.74), but a trans man who has undergone testosterone treatment can also be excluded based on fairness rules (13.81).
Trans women are stripped of the legal definition of ‘lesbian’, and therefore no longer have legal protections if they’re discriminated against on the basis of sexual orientation. (2.50, 2.92).
Here is the Good Law Project's better explanation of the EHRC Code.
I have also made a PDF printout of QR codes for the government petition, email your MP tool, and mass lobby link to pass around your communities. DM me and I'll send it to you.
Do yourselves a massive favor: practice asking for help BEFORE it's an emergency.
I am a social worker. I have worked in community mental health and in home-based healthcare. And it is much, much easier for me to help you when the situation you're in is not yet a full-blown crisis.
"I'm out of money and have been for a while and now I haven't eaten for three days." This is a crisis. A crisis where I'm likely going to have to put you in the car and take you to the nearest food bank--except food banks require appointments now, and the next opening is in four days, so you're staring down the barrel of a week with no food. That's obviously not going to work, so, let's call eight different food banks until we've found one that has an appointment the next day...except it's in the neighboring county and you can't drive. So now I'm calling your doctor to try and brow beat an emergency plan of care update out of him so I can come back the next day and drive you to the food bank. And we haven't even started on the "constantly broke" part of the problem.
"I don't think I have enough food to make it to my next paycheck. I have (xyz) in my house and that will only last until (date)." This is bad, but not a crisis. We have a few days. We make you an appointment at the food bank and contact your brother to make sure you have a ride there. Now we can spend our visit talking about what bills are causing you the most problems and make a jump on a long-term solution, like looping in a community action agency to cover your utilities and getting you an OTC card from Medicaid to cover some of your groceries every month.
"I'm ten months behind on rent, and my landlord said I have a week to get out, or the cops will throw me out. I don't have the money, and if I get evicted, I have nowhere to go." This is a crisis. Every single thing we do here is going to be some version of a Hail Mary. In Michigan, we have the state emergency relief fund for rent issues, but process time is well over one week. There are community action agencies that we can call to assist you with payment, but they are unlikely to have sufficient funds to cover nearly a year of back rent. We can contact legal aid clinics to try and prevent your landlord from evicting you, but they may look at your case and determine that too much "fault" lies with you. Most likely, I'm going to have to put you in touch with homeless shelters and the public housing office.
"I'm two months behind on rent and I don't think I'll be able to pay next month either." This is bad, but not a crisis. This is solvable. We have time to apply for SER, or put you in contact with community action agencies. We have time to review your finances and see if you qualify for a public housing wait list or other forms of ongoing rental assistance. We have time to talk about a million possible adjustments to try and ease the burden of your rent.
"I am the sole caregiver for my elderly parent who has dementia and is emotionally volatile and fully dependent on me. I have not slept through the night in weeks and I have not had an actual break for over a year. I am having screaming meltdowns multiple times a week and I am threatening self-harm unless someone comes to collect my parent and take over all caregiver duties." This is a crisis. This is a crisis where the ethical code of my profession demands that I call 911 and report the conversation to them. They will likely come to the house and interview you. If they determine your threats were serious, they will have you forcibly committed to a psych ward. Your parent will either be dumped into a random hospital or rehab center, or left in the house on their own. Upon release from your psych hold, you will be expected to resume caregiving duties as though nothing happened. Except, now, adult protective services is actively investigating you, because it was determined you may be an ongoing danger to your parent.
"I am the sole caregiver for my demented parent, and I have not had a break in a couple of weeks, and I feel angry and weepy most of the time." This is bad, but not a crisis. We can get you in touch with volunteer groups for respite, and apply for state funded programs to get more day-to-day help, and talk about long-term planning for when the dementia symptoms get worse. We can get you the phone numbers for crisis lines and enroll you in a support group.
Obviously, you can ask for help at any point. Don't use this an excuse to never ask for help. If you always wait until it's a crisis, fine, you have free will. But you are ALLOWED to ask for help BEFORE you're in a blind panic, and it is always easier to get help when you aren't screaming and sobbing because you think your life is over.
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