ur mom

that one friend that got trapped in the time loop and is soooooooooo annoying about it. you tell them a childhood fact and theyre like "you already told me that in the time loop" 🙄 okay sorry i dont remember that? stop flexing your knoweldge of reset timelines dude, its unfair. my mom doesnt even know your name and you're mournfully talking about how the taste of her home cooking reminds you of the time you watched us all die at the dinner table. its fucking weird. nobody wants to hear that while they're eating macaroni dude. cmon. you spent like 10 years in that timeloop arent you like mentally 40 now. 😑😑😑 grow up.

incredibly powerful anti-fish forcefield on this one

@ireallyamabear

men b like wow I’ve never met a girl who liked music before..

You obviously know nothing about men if this is what you think they say

Men will see a mouse and eat it

No they won’t because why would anyone eat a mouse that’s stupid not all men are bad and not all men are stupid you may have had a bad experience with a man but not all men are bad granted there bad men but instantly accusing all men as bad is immature I’m dating a man and he is nowhere near stupid and I know for a fact that he won’t eat a mouse and in pretty sure I could name at least five other men that won’t do something as immature as that and saying that a man will see a mouse and eat it won’t get you a anywhere with a man if anything it will drive them away.

A man will see a mouse and be like is anyone else gonna eat this and not wait for an answer

santa put me on the Nuanced list this year

[guy who doesnt do literally anything voice] there just aint enough hours in the day to get everything done that needs to be done am i right

victor frankenstein is like “i’ve been hunted by the vilest of creatures” and the vilest of creatures is crying alone in the woods

rat

rat

@rat-detector

forgetfulness is wild because sometimes its "oops silly me i left the house without my wallet again" and sometimes its "my friend is trying to reminisce on a thing we did together and the fact its jogging nothing in my brain is genuinely kind of distressing"

the only way out is through but fuuuuuuuuuck fuuuuucckkkk cant i like scooch past or something

Sure, boss, I’d still be ya henchman if you was a woim

i would love to carpe diem but i also have anxiety