The biggest of yikes

these teenagers and their dog are trying ruin our money laundering business. no tony put the gun down were doing this the old fashioned way. were gonna dress up as monsters and scare them

pussy understander so they call me cliterate

People will literally see a sage green building and be like "what if it was white" 🙄

People will literally see a unique little house and be like "what if it had beige vinyl siding" 🤢

People will literally see a gorgeous Victorian painted lady house and be like "what if we knock it down and make it a carwash" 🤮

People will literally decide to build a community center for their town and then be like "what if it looked like a prison" 👹

People will literally see a mom and pop store going out of business and be like "what if we had a 3rd Dunkin Donuts there" 💀

People will literally see a vacant lot and be like "what if we had 6th dollar store there" 🤑

People will literally see a 40 year old bowling alley and be like "what if it was storage units" 😵‍💫

the thing is that why would you even ask chatgbt things you can google??? 'hey chat whats the tallest animal' not to blow your mind or anything but google has known about giraffes for forever. they even sometimes have articles for you to read its awesome. you dont have to ask your imaginary friend

I genuinely like salad I am just also fully convinced that the vast majority of people and restaurants are doing salad wrong. Listen to me. Hold my hand. You have been taken in by Big Lettuce. A salad can be primarily other things. Crunchy leaves are the foundation of the salad but you cannot build a whole building out of them. The other stuff in the salad is not just "toppings" it is the rest of the salad.

the cambrian period was like 10 years ago

the cambrarin period was like 3 years ago

yo bro lets just dillydally later when ur free

*packing my suitcase for a 3 day trip* hm, but what if I need my terracotta warriors..

girl it’s just a 3 day trip, you do not need to bring your terracotta warriors 🙄

When I was in the hospital, they gave me a big bracelet that said ALLERGY, but like. I'm allergic to bees. Were they going to prescribe me bees in there.

The world is full of such beauty and wonder. Thank you for that sentence.

[image reads: “geology rocks, but geography is where it’s at”]

let's all have fun because it's better than not having fun

we hate you john green

My name is not important. What is important is what I’m going to do… I just fuckin’ hate this world. And the human worms feasting on its carcass. My whole life is just cold, bitter hatred. And I always wanted to die violently. This is the time of vengeance and no life is worth saving. And I will put in the grave as many as I can. It’s time for me to kill. And it’s time for me to die. My genocide crusade begins here.

hey johny my bro relax

knowing that the past tense of "hang" is "hanged" when it's a method of execution can be very entertaining because you'll be watching a horror movie and someone goes "local legend says a woman was hung in these woods" and you're like "👀 good for her I guess"