what more do i need than kindness and pizza

Your mamas so squeak shes either a leather shoe or the bad door or a mouse

*aims my rifle in the direction its pointing and fires into the tall grass*

moment of unspeakable beauty today when one of my coworkers called another coworker "judas" for not splitting a can of white monster with her, and i got to watch the guy who sits next to me open a new google tab, type in "jeudis," and say quietly to himself "french thursday...?"

goodbye $200 helloooo 3 groceries

big fan of the way moles sit in dirt with their arms out like they’re in a hot tub

johnny cash's little brother jimmy pennies is 3 inches tall and has a voice only dogs can hear

i think people are starting to forget what the LA in LARP means

*nodding sagely* Los Angeles Role Play

okay gang lets find that son of a bitch markiplier

my liege is that item on the shelf too high for you to reach? fear not, i shall grab it for you. HNNNNNGHHH MMMMMHHGGH HHHHHHHH (cant reach it either)well shit my liege

if i were in charge of star wars i would end the last movie witth yoda reading the story out of a big book and he gives a little chuckle and says "happened, none of that did." and then he gets out of his truck and waddles into walmart

star wars heritage post

Asunder is basically the most classic way to be torn, and if you're looking to be cleft, in twain is a vintage but stunning choice