ⓣ𝓊𝔪𝕓𝑙𝚛 ℋ𝜊𝔰𝓉𝕒𝒈E

eighteen inch nails: i want to fuck you like two animals

i can tell when the edible starts to work when i start z-targeting shit irl

I know that “fwiw” means “for what it’s worth.” I know that. But every time I read it, my brain translates it to “fwom what I wemembew”

“Do dishes” and “take out trash” both require the use of a spell slot, vs “use phone” is a cantrip, and brother, I am a level one wizard

official dnd post

do people just not find those AI pop-ups everywhere not incredibly patronizing: "help me write" "help me visualize" help me put my balls in your mouth

This is how I found out that Ada Lovelace was Lord Byrons daughter

one time i was making potato soup and i needed broth for it but i was out of broth. but in my dog food cabinet there was a carton of chicken broth that i had bought for my dog. now the box did say HUMAN GRADE and the ingredients were just bog standard chicken broth. it did say something about joint health for dogs on there. but the ingredients were normal. i even compared the ingredients list to some normal person broth and they were the same. so i did put dog broth in that soup and it did taste completely normal. but i did use the dog broth.

My dark confession is that i want to put moisturizer on a vulture's head