noctilucent clouds and neutron stars ♫

your only job on this earth is to be so intrinsically yourself that the right people gravitate toward you and the wrong people move out of your way

mim. *hearty laugh* sos. kay, now let me-HOW AM I GONNA GET MIM WHEN I ONLY HAVE A BUCKAYEYUP? well you gotta SUCC and you gotta SUCC ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ɢᴏᴛᴛᴀ SUCC  ᵃⁿᵈ ʸᵒᵘ ᵍᵒᵗᵗᵃ seis. I CAN’T SEIS, I’M DWITCH. not with that attitude you 𝖇𝖎𝖌𝖊𝖚𝖗 𝖋𝖗𝖊𝖊𝖗𝖋. [break for chuckling]       DON’T YOU CALL ME A FRrᵣ rᵣʳᵣᵣ ₐᵃₐᵃₐᵃₐᵃᵃₐ ᵃₐᵃₐᵃₐᵧʸᵧʸᵧ ᵧʸᵧ ᵧ ᵧʸᵧ ᵧʸ I’M SWIS. you better. FUF. and then, you better BRRROOB, cause if you don’t BROOB, you’re NOTHING but a NOTHING and then the NOTHING becomes a NOTHING and then you’re NOTHING as a 𝓙𝓞𝓙 and then you’re NOTHING 𝓢𝓞𝓢 and then you think you’re thatthe top and you’re the Bottom and you’re a 𝚝𝚘𝚙 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚋𝚘𝚝𝚝𝚘𝚖 and youRearAvoovavoovavsusadSON. shis. I’ve been epIC, pa-

I… I legitimately can’t tell, did someone do sentence mixing on this clip or are they just somehow doing the most dead-on impression of sentence-mixing shitposting to ever be captured on audio?

they are actually doing dead on impressions of YTP mixing and they did this for like a solid hour

basketball dracula isn't real dude he can't-- *sudden squeaking noises from the shadows*

*two pool toys having sex tumble by in the wind* oh thank god

*thunderous slam dunk noise*

It's funny when Tumblr screenshots circulate other websites or you show one to someone who's not super online and they think they're supposed to pay attention to the usernames as a part of it so they get really hung up on the fact that a comment comes from a handle like "SloppyMuppetBalls" or "werewolf-smegma-collector." No not that part. That's the normal part. Don't laugh at our dear friend ClownHoleSlurper I'm trying to show you their insightful takes on economics

why is this post completely broken in every way imaginable

It’ll be almost impossible to find this post unless it wanders across your dash.

It wandered across mine. I shall help it travel forward.

this is not a place of honor

Oh hey post of Ozymandius, good to see you again standing on your feet in a desert where no one remembers you

Let the path of this post continue.

this post was written by Microsoft Excel

So while doing some pirate research for the play I’m writing I stumbled upon one of the most amazing things I’ve ever read. In the 5th century A.D. there was a Scandinavian princess called Alwilda who’s father tried to set her up to marry Alf, the Prince of Denmark. Alwilda wasn’t cool with this so she and some female companions dressed as men, stole a ship, and sailed away. Eventually they met a company of pirates who were in need of a new captain and they were so captivated by her that they elected her as their new leader. Her crew became so infamous that Prince Alf was sent out to stop them. When their ships met he took Alwilda prisoner and she was so impressed by Alf’s skill that she agreed to marry him after all and eventually became the Queen of Denmark.

I stopped caring whether this was factually accurate about halfway through because it’s completely AWESOME.

Reblogging my old post for this A+ addition to it

There was a massive shift in how our culture understood morality when, after World War II, the general public realized “just following orders” was not an excuse for crimes against humanity. Now we need another moral shift in which we decide, as a culture, that “for the benefit of the stockholders” is not an excuse for anything.

We kind of need to relearn the “just following orders” part again

quirky fourth wall breaking character but theyre just fucking. wrong about the medium theyre in. they keep making references to cinematic techniques and directorial styles and the other fourth wall breaking character is like "dumbass we're in a fucking comic book" and they are in a video game.

Well currently they’re in a tumblr post but I see your point

we're actually in a youtube video if this turns out to be funny enough

Another reason why trains would be good is that most people are not good at driving