so what the jesus does this thing even do

Need to move to L.A. so i can get vivisected by a bitch w a bookstore mullet for fun and profit

Moving to Philly to get a full soldering iron branding backpiece from a chris-fleming-built bitch running a kava bar

Need to move to Maine to get abducted by a pair of 30something dykes living in a converted schoolbus [ who serve as the Platonic form that the realtree-wearing graphic designer dirtbros are trying to emulate ] to get yoked to a plough sexualstyle

Moving to PDX so I can ask where the nice young lady with less-than-perfect posture sourced her ketamine autoinjector before it ends up in my neck

Moving to Brooklyn to get flogged by a dog

Gotta move to Denver so a GenX neopagan woman can split my tongue semiconsensually but with more-than-agreeable-results during an impromptu mescaline ritual

Need to move to Langley to tango with off-duty CIA interrogation specialists and put VivoKeys in eachothers' hands

Moving to Pittsburgh so a motordyke disrocker can give me a self-cauterizing nasallang with a propane-torched-red-hot safety pin

Moving to Chicago for good ol' leatherdyke sodomy. Maybe a tattoo with no gloves, malort for sterilization.

Moving to Toronto for vigorous and non-hetero but ultimately relatively vanilla sex with someone who still wears Chucks in 2k24, quote, "in the hipster way,"

Moving to Minneapolis in order to be goaded into engaging with a concept I don't fully grasp but which is referred to as "Fargoplay" ?

Moving to Atlanta to have a cunty english major with utilitarian tastes rest the muzzle of a CZ P10C on my lower incisors [again, sexualstyle,]

Moving to Connecticut to have something genuinely unethical and slightly traumatic but nevertheless incredibly arousing happen at the hands of a bisexual third-generation Yale grad student and end up walking away with a worrying amount of hushmoney. Also to give roadhead on the Merritt parkway.

Moving to Seattle to be bound by my wrists and watch a broad shouldered woman forge a brand before it’s planted solidly in my leg.

No, you move to Seattle to be disappointed.

boy howdy do you ever

why do you have hard-boiled eggs for eyes

reminder that this happened once

I have no idea who Scalia was. Isn’t that the thing that people call themselves when they are furries but with reptiles?

You’re thinking of scalies. Scalia is a quantity that has magnitude but not direction.

You’re thinking of scalars. Scalia is an opera house in Milan.

You’re thinking of La Scala. Scalia is is a form of thermal burn resulted from heated fluids such as boiling water or steam.

You’re thinking of scalding. Scalia are subjective internal experiences.

You’re thinking of qualia. Scalia is the region of Northern Europe consisting mainly of Norway, Sweden, and Finland.

You’re thinking of Scandinavia. Scalia is a company that makes trucks.

You’re thinking of Scania. Scalia is a a wizard and a Snatcher in the gang led by Fenrir Greyback in the Harry Potter universe.

You’re thinking of Scabior. Scalia was the guise assumed by Peter Pettigrew in his capacity as an Animagus,also in the Harry Potter universe.

You’re thinking of Scabbers. Scalia is a type of triangle where no two sides have the same length.

You’re thinking of Scalene. A Scalia is a method of stealing people’s valuables or money through elaborate falsehoods, deception and acting.

you’re thinking of scams. scalia is the bone that connects the humerus to the clavicle.

You’re thinking of scapula. Scalia is a small knife with a thin, sharp blade that is used in surgeries and dissections.

You’re thinking of a scalpel.Scalia is an abnormal lateral curvature of the spine.

You’re thinking of scoliosis. Scalia is the author of “Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.”

You’re thinking of a Scamander. Scalia is a flat tool used for flipping food.

You’re thinking of a spatula. Scalia is any one of numerous species of saltwater clams or marine bivalve mollusks in the taxonomic family Pectinidae.

You’re thinking of a scallop. Scalia is the eighth astrological sign in the tropic Zodiac, and one of the three water signs, along with Cancer and Pisces.

You’re thinking of Scorpio… Scalia is a vegetable in the onion family, with long green stalks, usually added to a dish for flavor.

You’re thinking of scallion. Scalia is the ship name for Scott McCall and Malia Tate from Teen Wolf.

You’re thinking of Scott/Malia. Scalia is the primary antagonist in the He-Man cartoons. He wants to seize control of Castle Grayskull, the cultural and political stronghold of Eternia, so that he can conquer the universe and shape it to accord with his own evil vision.

You’re thinking of Skeletor. Scalia is a method of using oars to propel watercraft. In modern crew competitions, it refers to two-oared rowing.

You’re thinking of sculling. Scalia are green-skinned, shape-shifting antagonists in the Marvel comic universe.

You’re thinking of Skrulls.  Scalia is the skeptic; Mulder is the believer.

You’re thinking of Scully. Scalia was a villain in the excellent and under-appreciated scifi original series Farscape. He perused John Crichton across the uncharted territories for his knowledge on wormhole technology.

You’re think of Scorpius. Scalia is the electronic music producer and DJ who just won a grammy.

You’re thinking of Skrillex. Scalia is the sportscaster for the LA Dodgers.

You’re thinking of Vin Scully. Scalia is a traditional mush of pork scraps, cornmeal, and spices popular with the Pennsylvania Dutch .

You’re thinking of Scrapple. Scalia is the big, shaggy monster from Monsters, Inc.

You’re thinking of Sully. Scalia is an itchy skin condition cause by mites burrowing under the skin.

You’re thinking of scabies. Scalia is that guy who landed a plane in the Hudson after some geese flew into the engine.

You’re thinking of Sullenberger. Scalia is that ancient Roman holiday where masters became servants.

You’re thinking of Saturnalia. Scalia is the African country where the pirates in that Tom Hanks movie came from.

You’re thinking of Somalia. Scalia is a designated Pennsylvania Scenic River that runs through Philadelphia.

You’re thinking of Schuylkill River. Scalia was the first American women’s rights convention in 1848. 

You’re thinking of the Seneca Falls Convention. Scalia is the portmanteau nickname of the lower half of the largest state on the US’s west coast. 

You’re thinking of SoCal. Scalia is the Sanskrit word for “wandering through” which describes the soul’s journey through multiple births, lives and deaths that can only be ended by achieving enlightenment.

You’re thinking of Saṃsāra. Scalia was a German philosopher who thought all human action was chalked up to the Will.

You’re thinking of Schopenhauer. Scalia was the side project of System of a Down guitarist Daron Malakian.

remember the great peestuck cosplayer gif drama of tumblr past

no

Ok Zootopia this is a little too far, don’t you think??

i am enchanted by this glowing woman and her drawers and her smile and her large fish and the fact that someone seems to be dousing her with frumenty.

i don’t know what’s going on here but she sure is having fun :3

upon reflection: she is probably a Goddess of Plenty. observe the ears of wheat woven into her hair, and she’s bringing a great big fish dinner, and then it’s raining oats and milk when she laughs. she is the goddess of never going hungry again.

she’s got my vote in November.

Not going to lie first thought I had was “bondage fish? I dont even know what to kinkshame anymore!” But harvest goddess makes more sense.

i got fired on friday!! it's great they also canned like 2 other queers at the same time