Gentleman In The Streets; Will Iron Your Sheets

its terrible for any number of reasons, but i think if we invent immortality there should be an extreme sport called civilizational speedrunning where teams of 20 go into the wilderness somewhere and try and be the fastest build the first internal combustion engine. i bet you could get it down to like 3 years tops

The real trick is to eat seed heavy food before the speedrun starts so your first poops are halfway to agriculture already

i want you on my team holy shit

It's called a sneasuring tape, get it right.

fiction can be so beautiful when groundedness and lore aren’t even considerations

Please tell me this makes sense in context. I beg you.

why would you want it to

funniest moment in moby dick is when they meet another captain who lost a limb to the white whale and ahab goes like “and dost thy blood not boil, aye, and the very marrow of thy bones too, to know that the wretched creature and very devil of the sea that harmed us both still draws breath??” and the ship captain is like no i’m fine, it wasn’t the whale’s fault or anything. i mean imagine actually holding a grudge against a fish lmao that’s actually the funniest thing i’ve ever heard and ahab goes you don’t know what the FUCK you’re talking about. and stamps his foot so hard he breaks his ivory leg

my phone has been on vibrate since 2006

when will they establish that "james bond" is like an intergalactic slug that possesses random british men every 5 to 15 years and uses its collected life experiences to go on spy adventures

#this instantly makes the entire franchise so much more fun #james bond #an animorphs Yeerk gone rogue and living his best life apparently

close your eyes and imagine freshly roasted root vegetables perfectly seasoned and crispy as far as the eye can see

Sam trying to get Frodo to take one more step

Sam psychologically tormenting Gollum

I don't know this sport.