A Mess™️

rip to taylor york but i simply wouldnt fumble the woman i’ve been in love with since 2005

like if i pulled hayley williams and then fumbled???? i’d eat rat poison

i like working at plant store. sometimes you ring up someone and there's a slug on their plant and so you're like "Oh haha you've got a friend there let me get that for you" and you put the slug on your hand for safekeeping but then its really busy and you dont have time to take the slug outside before the next customer in line so you just have a slug chilling on your hand for 15 minutes. really makes you feel at peace with nature. also it means sometimes i get to say my favorite line which is "would you like this free slug with your purchase"

should i eat first or shower first *has phone in couch time for another 3 hours due to choice procrastination, a behavioral phenomenon observed in pigeons and rats as well*

i' m something of a pigeons and rats myself

Oh these are the electric sheep the androids dream about

ohhh “cable knit” i get it now

I approve of powerscaling discourse only in utterly senseless contexts. I don't give a shit about which shōnen protagonists could beat up which other shōnen protagonists, but I will 100% read your five thousand word essay exploring the subtle nuances of establishing a tiered ranking of the Smurfs.

"Could Batman beat Captain America" trite, tedious, bullshit. "Could Deadpool beat Roger Rabbit" now you have my attention.

TELEVISION. Show me BEAUTIFUL WOMEN being VIOLENT

my top hobbies are shame and embarrassment but i also occasionally dabble in envy

been getting into regret recently i think i've got a knack for it