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@junk-disorderly

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One million pounds to the writer of this caption in the Guardian please
nigel farage resigning to try and delay the investigation into him and immediately restanding for election in the same constituency, only for every single major party to say 'yeah nah have fun pal, see you back at work for the investigation' and refusing to entertain him is hilarious enough on its own.
the fact that the only person running against him is fucking count binface, who is promising to build one (1) affordable house, is hysterical. and he has a not zero chance of winning.
what the hell is going on
i believe in you Binface. you can do it. this could be your moment.
Please god it would be so funny
there is no downside to voting for Count Binface. its not taking away from other candidates bcos they aren't any and the more votes he gets the stupider Farage looks.
for people out of the loop:
Nigel Farage is the leader of Reform UK, a far right party who are currently in the process of a serious bid to become the UK government. they are just straight up evil.
Count Binface is an intergalactic space warrior with a bin on his head. he likes to run as a novelty candidate in general and mayoral elections. a big thing he likes to do is run as a candidate against the incumbent prime minister:
(Also pictured: Boris Johnson, Elmo)
Anyway, in brief:
Nigel Farage is currently in the midst of a big scandal about his finances
He has decided to deal with this by 1) making a show of nobly resigning from parliament and then 2) immediately running in the resulting by-election
He has stated that he is letting 'the people' judge his actions and implied that if he wins that will prove that he has been exonerated in the court of public opinion
His goal was presumably to get a big resounding win over the other parties, proving that The People still love him.
the other parties have thus far decided that this is a 'vanity election' and, well, there is one very easy way to ensure that he will not beat any of them, and that is simply not to play.
and as a result the only person who has so far confirmed they are running against him is Count Binface. no matter the outcome this makes Nigel Farage look like, u know, a fucking clown.
So what happens if Count Binface actually wins? Does he join Parliament? Does he have to take the bin off his face?
I've seen some people saying he would have to give up his title but it would seem that is no longer the case as of 1999; so, no, he can keep his ceremonial bin if he wishes.
Important to note also that Count Binface is the alter ego of comedian & political satirist Jon Harvey who seems to be an intelligent individual with reasonable politics. As I said no real downside.
The no hats rule clearly does not apply to him. He is not wearing a hat. It's a bin.
Experts* have determined that if elected, in theory he would have to remove the bin in order to participate in parliamentary votes.
*a bunch of randos on discord
Fwiw this is reportedly the precedent set in the 80s:

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a very very funny picture to not load
Strawberry Full Moon over Ely Cathedral l VeronicaJoPo
I miss when ads were a single click and then they’re gone. Now every ad has a minimum of three phases where you watch a video, exit the still frame of fake gameplay, and then exit the app download. That doesn’t even touch on the ones that forcibly take you to another app after opening a tab in safari without you ever touching the screen.
I hate advertising. I hate that you can’t do anything without companies jumping down your throat with mostly bullshit ads. I hate that billboards exist. I hate that every company unanimously decided to make their ads longer and longer. I hate that ad blockers try to charge you money and there are in app purchases to remove ads. I hate that my attention has become commodified. I hate that there’s nothing I can do about it.
is anyone else annoyed that "ai" encompasses both chatgpt and tools we train to do repetitive tedious work for us. and by the ripple effect of articles like "scientists develop ai to detect cancer early" that make people argue for the merit of chatgpt or become anti-medicine. and by the general state of the world and society
so much is going on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it’s too much!!!!!!!!!!!!! i just want to sleep in the forest for 190 years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i’m tired leave me alone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Y'all for real please do these. Even if you're certain your posture doesn't suck. One day you will wake up with impinged shoulder pain like I did and let me tell you it fucking HURTS. Do these exercises even just once a week and it will make such a difference. Especially my fellow creatives out there, stop shrimping over your work and go do these right now. RIGHT NOW.
Also, if you’re even a little concerned about getting a hump or having trouble standing fully upright in your old age, this is how you prevent that. If you want to be up and about when you’re old you have to start when you’re younger. And keep in mind there is no bad time to start and it’s never too late. Starting today is way better than never starting at all.
good lord this thing is useless
idk what yall are mad about the new Lies Your Older Cousin Tells You machine is working great
Happy horse on mars day
🫣 i feel like we all should buy a 1990s set of encyclopedias NOW
No AI can be trusted.
His strength is that he is biscuits
"Break Free," created by artist Disha Dua.
Polly Pocket but surprise it’s Lucy Westenra’s garden from Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992) 🦇 Really experimented with this one! Used a vintage wooden box, diorama greenery, bits of wood & air dry clay, and movable figures out of polymer clay.

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*smirking* you couldn't waterboard that out of me, but even if torture was an effective method of information extraction and not a futile display of state-sanctioned sadism, the high percentage of false confessions it produces would mean that even if you could waterboard it out of me, could you even trust the veracity of my statement?
gerard way listen to me its going to be 30+ degrees celsius next week you cant be wearing all that black on stage. you gotta- yeah the cheerleader dress. yeah you gotta its for your safety. trust me