i n f r a n s

I’ve walked this earth a thousand times. I’ll walk it a thousand more.

“Yes, you’re right, I still don’t know how to be around you! But you won’t look me in the eye anymore, you won’t look any of us in the eye anymore, and whose fault do you think that is? You’re the one running off and taking stupid risks and yeah, maybe you are the one who took my arm off! Maybe it is your fault!” Jamie shouted. “But so what? You’re still my sister—”

the kids made in picrew, in order: jamie, flames, aden, ally, bill, janet, connor, and george <3

If you think I’m good at handling pressure, then all I really am is good at pretending. And if you think I didn’t feel pressure growing up, with you as the standard I was being held to deep down, at least by myself if by no one else, then you just weren’t paying attention. And you can’t sleep right now because you’re afraid of failure, even though you’re the most driven person I’ve ever met, so driven that I have never actually seen you fail. But take it from someone who has, over and over again: if you do, you’re gonna get right back fucking up, because that’s what we do, and that’s why we’re here. So you’re going to be fine. That’s an order from your commanding officer.

homeless ( j.p. )

in little ways, when everything stays

Wait! There’s no mountain too great Hear these words and have faith

It was seconds, but felt like centuries, before she saw his face shift, soften—until she looked at him and knew what it meant—and her chest loosened as they both simultaneously swung their swords away from the other and let their grips go slack. They both stepped forward, but Ally didn’t stop, half wanting to make sure he was as solid and alive and unharmed as he looked, and half wanting to hide her face as she wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tight. He was tall enough now she could rest her chin on his armoured, softly padded shoulder. He didn’t seem too thin as he wrapped his arms around her, his sword dropping to the floor, and she gripped the back of his head, burrowing her fingers in his dark hair. “You’re alive,” she choked out, only a little ashamed that it came out so shaky. 

Akali chuckled as he followed her out the door. “I’d prefer to not fight people, you know.” “That’s why you need saving.” His voice grew softer, as they embarked into the hallway, looking for an exit. “That’s why I need you.” Ally’s cheeks were flaming as she turned around, and shoved her dagger against his chest. “You,” she said, making sure he had a good hold on the hilt before she took out her sword, “are hopeless.”

― Rebecca Stead, Goodbye Stranger

—Gary Young

There were no words to describe how much he had done for her. Giving her hope in Myrvka, mercy and compassion, a chance to see her sister. He’d killed for her. He’d kept her safe, taken her secrets, carried her. He’d given himself up for her, and had come back for her. He’d saved her. He’d helped her save herself. What sort of debt could possibly encompass all that? Throat thick, Ally swallowed and shouldered on. “He said if he was worth saving, then so was I. And he is a good person, and more than worth saving, so… so am I. I believe him. I really do.” 

Whatever you think you are, he said fiercely, but not unkindly, whatever you think you deserve, you don’t, okay? You’re not a war to win or lose, or a god or a monster. You’re a girl. Just a girl. He held her gaze, and didn’t flinch even as she stared back at him blankly. And if… If I’m worth saving, then so are you. 

“But if she was going to go by herself, I’d go with her. I wouldn’t make her do that alone.” He smiled weakly. “Water follows the moon, right?”

I don’t want easy. I want you.

…My marriage is falling apart, and my daughters aren’t going to get to grow up together, and here you are, knowing my due date is your death date and I’m—I’m so sorry.

Slowly, Ally reached up and took his hand, its weight warm in hers.