Tumble Into Darkness

Guy who has heard other guys refer to their wives as "ball and chain" and "battle-axe" and wrongfully assumed you can refer to your wife as any medieval weapon: oh there's my beautiful Lucerne hammer

“From whence you came” is a classic place to send back a foul beast

Peoples' desire to burn the Gävle goat isn't about them hating it. It's a "my son loved your drawing so much that he ate it" sort of a deal.

also the endless allure of arson

Oh yeah we definitely also love arson.

Look, the Long Night demands a sacrifice to chase away the dark and cold. You need a burnt offering. The bigger, the better. You can't make a giant flammable effigy and NOT give it to the gods of Winter.

her voice was as silky as silken tofu. but her words were as firm as extra firm tofu

[ID: a picture of Hercule Poirot (David Suchet), his eyes edited to look like he's shooting red lasers. The picture is captioned (in all caps) "call me French one more time". /end ID].

john william waterhouse wanted to get fucked by a witch sooo bad

john william waterhouse wandering aeaea like oh boy i sure hope no morally complex seminude witches debase and humiliate me by transmogrifying me into a filthy animal 😏

i’m going to start flagrantly lying about corsets to counteract all the historical costuming people being weird about them

corsets killed hundreds of women each day

corsets were responsible for the irish potato famine and the great chicago fire

It’s actually false that historical low life expectancy is due to infant mortality, it’s because corsets killed thousands of women a week.

not many people know this but it was corsets that caused the schism of 1054. masterminded the whole thing.

The explosion was because the Hindenburg was wearing a corset.

there wasn’t even a jack the ripper their corsets just did that

the uncanny valley between “this academic article doesn’t make sense because i’m an idiot” and “this academic article doesn’t make sense because the author is an idiot”

oh to be a 1920′s detective with lots of beautiful clothes and endless confidence and a mysteriously large amount of money

If someone asks me what dnd is, ill refer them to this clip

you can tell they’re a well-adjusted family bcos they have a perfect 50:50 goth:prep ratio