Announcement? Update? Screaming at the void? I donβt know what to call this right now, so if anyone is curious about what the hell Iβve been doing all this time read on...
So, Iβve been getting a few asks about my ongoing fics and whether Iβm going to continue them because I havenβt posted a new chapter in 2+ years. Well, as everyone knows, Covid fucked everything up, and 2020 was just a horrendously shitty year on the whole to start with. I have been insanely lucky to avoid getting sick (helps I do not socialize outside of work whatsoever, but considering I work in dental and am literally in peopleβs mouths all day - yeah, really fucking lucky to have avoid illness). But, the external stress and anxiety the ongoing plague has caused in me has really messed with my ability to write or do anything.
But, as I announced at the end of last year, Iβm back in school. I took two classes in the spring and got Aβs in both, with such amazingly consistent feedback on my writing that it began to inspire me again.... Except right as I was regaining my confidence, more shit started happening in my personal life to blow a hole in my intentions.
Iβll put the details to that under a cut at the end so if people donβt want to read the shit thatβs led to endless existential dread and a burdensome mid-life crisis, you can ignore that part. Iβll just get to the point here.
Despite all the shit thatβs been weighing on me the last few months... years, really... I do know I absolutely cannot continue to work where Iβm at. I need to get out of the medical field for the sake of my mental health, as well as physical health. But, I canβt just quit because I have bills to pay and I donβt have anything lined up to move on to. I genuinely want to work from home, focusing on what I love and would like to do for a living - writing. My whole plan of getting a Masterβs in Library Science after completing my B.A. is still kind of there, but all the feedback I got and the excitement Iβm feeling for my writing courses has really told me that writing is something I need to be doing, but I canβt make money off fanfic (copyright lawβs a lot stricter with writing versus art).
Iβm almost afraid to announce this because itβs probably way too early, but I am working on an original high fantasy romance story that I intend to publish. Iβm only in the early planning/ outlining/ worldbuilding stage, but itβs something I really want to write. Itβs a smaller scale than a high fantasy saga Iβve had rattling around in my head for years, but it came to me and seems more manageable as a first foray into self-publishing that might give me a base to then spring into the larger saga thatβs gotten more solid in shape over the years.
My plan for this is to make a Patreon once I have a solid draft of the story written, then post two chapters a week as I go through my early editing process, and then publish it as an ebook once Iβm satisfied - likely using whatever funds I manage to get from Patreon to pay for an outside editor to finalize the book.
But, as I said, this is all in the early planning and hopeful yearning stage of my idea to make a career out of writing. I am absolutely terrified that even speaking about it may jinx me just because of how this year has gone, but I am excited to see if I can do it (all while also taking three classes this fall, ahahahaha).
As to what this means for my fanfic - I donβt know. I still really want to finish Amber Curse, but itβs become so difficult for me to concentrate on my fics that I might not be able to go back to it. Or, I might use it as a way to take a break from my own original work, especially since I can get away with sporadic posting and still get really great and inspiring feedback from people. Weβll see. I know I hate the idea of disappointing anyone with an incomplete story, especially one that is so BIG. So, while thatβs sort of in limbo right now, I havenβt forgotten about it.
Iβll try to be more active on here, too - give updates about my process when I can.
But, for those curious as to what Iβve been dealing with this year thatβs really fucked with my head, the details are under the cut. Fair warning for those who donβt want to be dragged down, there are mentions of illness and sudden death in the family.
Edit: Realized the post is on the long side, so the cut isnβt working on the mobile platform - so everything after this is just depressing shit you donβt have to read if you donβt want to.

















