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my three girlfriends; past, present and future

But do they smoke weed

age regressing to 2 years old but i was an especially erudite and articulate baby so you don't even notice

‘capitalism works’ factoid actually untrue. the 62 people who own half the world’s wealth are outliers and should be eaten.

62 8

Absolutely nuts how they made up a number for this satire post and the correction is that reality is *more absurd* than the number they chose

no i’m afraid it’s even worse than that. 62 was correct in 2016 when the original post was made.

NOTHING will prepare u for how tiny this guy is

Leopard Seals are what happens when god needs a lizard and all he has is a mammal

I'd recommend turning the sound on. The seal is not screaming. It's not very loud at all, actually, but the noise it's making is Much Worse.

Is there anything he haven't wear yet

a condom

close your eyes and imagine freshly roasted root vegetables perfectly seasoned and crispy as far as the eye can see

Sam trying to get Frodo to take one more step

Sam psychologically tormenting Gollum

youre going to play wow classic? you know fable 2 exists right?

youre playing fable 2? you do realize mount and blade exists right

you’re going to plY mount and blade? why not come join me in my viva piñata heaven

you’re going to Vica piaa h? Why not come do rocks with me

all boys do is listen to acid rock and stare directly into a flashlight 

its working

i can feel it working

Gay kink stores are like here’s the fuck master 5000 gnome king pig blaster it goes in your ass obviously pigfag and pansexual kink stores are like here’s like gender sensory backdoor pridefun exploration pleasure rod and it’s the same toy

Show daddy that nice picture again

if you set off a rube goldberg type death trap to kill someone, if it's a long enough machine, it ceases to become your fault if somebody dies at the end. that's how I've gotten away with it all these years, and why I'm still going to heaven.