†

blood spray is just another kind of cumshot

does anybody know how to get out of bed. or be a better person

*scrolling tumblr* hmmm. i agree with the sentiment of this post, but the phrasing feels off to me. it doesn’t really have that Reblog factor, you know? *scrolls* oh good, a post that just says “i jerk off till my penis scrweam” . i better reblog this

They don’t teach you this in school but in the seventies the storks that deliver babies started to talk about unionizing but luckily Bruce Springsteen invented sex just in time so we didn’t have to deal with all that let’s all say thank you Bruce

everybody forgive themselves right now

in the vein of "he would not fucking say that": they would not be that well-hung

like, you expect me to believe they're packing a footlong schlong? they would be four and a half inches on a good day. deeply immersion-breaking

and WHAT about albert rosenfield

I explained the concept of "blorbo from my shows" to my 71 year old immigrant grandfather because I referenced it in passing and I thought nothing of it, until today when he said "I think I'll watch peaky blinders tonight and see my blorbo from my shows" referring, of course, to Cillian Murphy playing Tommy Shelby

English isn't his first language so he's not super in touch with modern slang, so I've been accidentally teaching him to talk like a tumblr user. His favorite thing to say lately is "me when I'm a little hater" when he's like talking shit about the neighbor's son

OP are you telling me we got the death of Gică Petrescu before we got gta6

Reblog and put in the tags what you think of as “your” emoji(s)

i dont think people can just enjoy things anymore. and i dont mean this in a "just let people enjoy things" way i mean people REFUSE to engage with and enjoy something for what it is. the way headcanons and quirky fanart and edits and aus comes before even Knowing The Basic Fucking Themes isnt enjoying something. i refuse to acknowledge it as enjoying any piece of art. it's commodification and i miss seeing blog posts that were essays abt the themes of something instead of people trying to make kwerky hcs abt how two guys can kiss. i get not everything is meant to be high art but id rather over-read something than live in the vapid hellscape of whatever people are doing in fandom these days