lookit me

has anyone seen my pet bacteriophage its name is styrofoam and its about [hand touching the floor] this tall

i can understand the trials but were the tribulations really necessary

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

#tapping the reblog button with utmost care because i’m handling a historical artifact (via @malarkiness)

its kind of fun to uninstall programs you arent using to free up space and see them all beg for their lives

I love to eat warm peaches bent over the sink like a werewolf. Summertime activity of all time.

i love the phrase "cruel and unusual." not only is what you're doing mean but it's also quite frankly fucking bizarre

the water in hotel showers will do things to the texture of your hair you didn’t even know were possible

daughter (non-practicing)

sister (deadbeat)

a cat is a sort of machine that dispenses hair all over you and everything else in the room