We Are All Weird Deer

functionally suicidal character saying “I would die for you” to their significant other and its like. I get the sentiment, honey, but if a hot dog vendor told me he’d sell hot dogs for me, I wouldn’t feel very moved now would I

Now a functionally suicidal character saying “I will live for you”. Now that’s a dynamic I can sink my teeth into.

now how about a functionally suicidal character saying "I will sell hot dogs for you"

Hotdog vender lays down their life to protect their suicidal partner, who then takes over the hotdog stand to carry on their memory...

It's like talking to a 2010 Old Spice commercial with you people

There's always a moment of intense cultural whiplash whenever I realize I'm talking to someone who thinks "legal" and "illegal" are meaningful categories and ascribes innate goodness to following the law. It's like meeting a space alien.

Like ppl will say things to me like "But that's Against The Law 😱" or "but they Broke The Law 😱" like sinners in the hands of an angry God and idk what to do w/ that

Remember that xkcd about how Google searches are shit now? What if we made them even worse for no reason?

I will vote for any candidate who promises to go scorched fucking earth on every tech company. Break every single one of them up into companies based around a single product and then split those in thirds. Weaponize existing antitrust laws to the hilt and pass the most draconian versions of them ever seen on this planet. Nationalize google search specifically. Pass consumer privacy protections strict enough to kill the data harvesting industry for good. Make all of these fuckers go bankrupt for this rent-seeking shit

maintaining relationships with people is so difficult for no good reason. what are you supposed to do when you miss someone and want to talk to them more? Say you miss them and that you want to talk to them more? That's all bullshit

I'm perfectly fine with people criticizing my favorite stories and frequently do it myself but can you stop being so boring about it

"This scene made me so uncomfortable" given the subject matter, it would be really, really badly written if it wasn't.

ive decided to become a liberal

i think all past wars are bad, but any current ones are an unfortunate necessity

the status quo is whats REALLY punk

we've got to cater to the right, its our only option

if you don't treat the democratic party as an entity of pure good, you might as well throw away the election

i don't believe that any political position to the left of me exists, so you must be a russian bot

oh and don't get me started on china unless you want to see some really disturbing racism.

I absolutely fucking hate this. Gold star, no notes.

Heartwarming story: Little girl doesn’t have to do anything to fund her dad’s surgery because his expenses are covered by his country’s universal healthcare.

Human determination: Man bikes 18 miles to work every morning because he wants to and not because he can’t afford a car and would be fired if he’s late.

Spirit of Brotherhood: Neighbors host housewarming party for elderly resident who doesn’t need help in paying rent because his pension is more than enough.

SO INSPIRING: Local middle school students bake dozens of cupcakes because their home economics class is doing a baking unit. Their school is fully funded with everything they need.

This feels like calibrating my normal detector

I do fucking love Ranni so much, hilarious character. Steals death to kill her half brother. Discards her original body to look like a cute little blue doll instead. Lies to the Tarnished, who presumably just arrived in the country and who none of this means anything to, about her name for some reason. When confronted later, immediately brazenly admits she lied to you, and also that she's the one who had Godwyn assassinated, which somehow no one had figured out before. Sees through the Tarnished and Rogier's plan immediately, but still lets them work for her (because "there's nothing wrong with a well-laid scheme", but is it really that well-laid if you already know what our goal is?). Says shit like "I shall soon enter my slumber". Literally turns into a pocket-sized version of herself and gets so fucking pissed off when you see through that "disguise". You can marry her in game, and she'll give you a sword for it. Did I forget anything

She’s even funnier in Elden Ring’s cinematic trailer where she’s all like “Oh golly, I sure do wonder who orchestrated Godwyn’s assassination” like it wasn’t her who orchestrated said assassination.

I want you guys to all start making a bigger stink about Tumblr's Age Verification Horseshit.