Sustained by: vibeogames, blood & girls kissing

at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you

at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.

at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly

at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.

at some point in your life you will be adding a small pasta to a soup and you will think "that is not enough small pasta." this is the devil talking. the pasta will absorb the stock and expand. this is how you end up with a soup that is a solid mass of soggy ditalini.

At some point in your life you will be adding garlic to a dish and you will think "that is not enough garlic." These are angels speaking. They are correct. Add more garlic.

please god let nigel farage lose his seat in parliament to a man in a bin costume please god it would ruin his career

[girl in a low cut top voice] i just dont know what it is but everyone is being sooo nice to me today….[grows grave and guarded] they’re conspiring against my reign and they think me a fool

There are four categories of people you will meet: Underlings, superiors, rivals, and love interests. One of my underlings has been attempting to convince me of the existence of a fifth category, "friend", which appears to have no purpose. I suspect it is a ploy to get out of performing her duties.

If you have enough passion in your heart, superiors, rivals, and even some underlings can also be love interests.

an underling love interest isn't a person they are a Toy

so many people post like they are from the dimension of No Misogyny because the misogyny all around them just registers to them as fine and normal

capitalist polycule

this is what people mean when they talk about unethical polyamory

i know i make it look effortless but being the most beautiful princess in charge of the whole world is actually rly tough so you have to be nicies to me

aborted abortion doctor: yea thats what i woulda did

baseball fights are better than hockey fights because everyone expects a fight in hockey. baseball fights are some real hater shit