I laughed so fucking hard at this

if i look back, i am lost

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@transitiveunacomplishedfool
I laughed so fucking hard at this

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when enkidu dies Gilgamesh covers his face, veiling it âlike a brideâ. Haha (sudden low voice through gritted teeth) the ancient Mesopotamians are running circles around us. I need you to get your ass on the field and give me your best yaoi or we can kiss these quarter finals goodbye
Artist: Â https://twitter.com/mt5_014
Ummm she's literally sensitive :/

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I don't give an amazing digital fuck
i will play a song on repeat until itâs sick of me
Catch me being a modern-day cyberpirate screaming up alongside you on the 405 in my mad max car with half a bitcoin farm's worth of RAM in the backseat as I hack your Bitchless Towyota⢠device and steal the boat you're towing right off the back bumper of the tesla your dad bought you
As i roar into the sunset you have to swerve* to avoid the small flotilla of hacked Towyota devices trailing behind me
(*in fact you do not swerve because you're on hands-free driving to go along with your hitch-free towing so you can only watch helplessly as your tesla mistakes your stolen booty for a small child and accelerates crashing into it and killing you instantly)
yoooo guys these wings my dad made look INSANE i canât wait to try them tomorrow
i donât think you understand i totally thought we were gonna die locked up in this castle but this fucking genius was like âim going to invent a way for humans to flyâ. shout out to my dad heâs a real one fr
LMAOOO this dude told me to be careful as he affixed the wings to my backâŚ..dad no offense but you just invented flying and we have to go high enough to avoid the kingâs archers. soo
HOOOOLY SHIT YOU GUYS I AM SO AFRAID. THE GROUND IS SO FAR. HOW DO BIRDS DO THIS. OH MY GODS OH MY GODS OH MY GODS
itâs so beautiful up here
i donât like seeing the ground. iâm going higher
itâs cold and i canât see anything. not sure if thatâs better or worse
by zeusâŚ.what is that thingâŚâŚ.itâs as bright as the sun and twice as warm
the gods look truly down on me this dayâŚapollo calls to me from his chariot of fire. a mere mortal. he must think my flight such a wondrous feat
i donât understand why but heâs coming closer. he is not supposed to stray from his path, lest the sun fall from the sky. why does he look so anguished to see me?
oh. i am in his path
itâs so hotâŚwas it this hard to fly before? maybe iâm tired
the wax
he really does look like the sunâŚthe light emanates from his fingers, his hair, his skin. he means to catch me. i reach for him
his skin burns. i cannot hold on
i slip through his fingers.
it takes a really long time to fall from the sky. longer than i thought
i wonder if he cried for me
i pray to him just in case. i am grateful he tried. my palms are red and cracked from where they touched divinity. the ground does not look any closer than it was
i have not seen my father since we took flightâŚi hope he escaped. i hope he will not witness this. i wish i could tell him how joyful these wings made me before the wax melted
i do not regret it. i have seen with my own eyes what others will only dream of
i am not afraid
i am not afraid i am not afraid i am not afraid i am not afraid i am afraid i am afraid i am afraid
please please please please please pleaseplease
the gods will not save me. i suppose this is a lesson in hubris. i am forever a flightless thing
please please please i have no coin for the ferryman if i am to die now i will never reach the realm of hades please turn me into a bird any bird or a bug or something anything please please pleasepleaseplease
I AM NOT AFRAID I AM NOT AFRAID I AM NOT AFRAID I AM NOT AFRAID I AM N
the sims will never not be one of the funniest games on the planet

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My signature is worth negative 2 dollars and 82 cents.
[the most low energy you have ever seen me] weâre about to go crazy mode
reblogging a post that says âdo it scaredâ vs actually doing it scared
cloth gown gridlock
From the Wikipedia page on loons
Now with free ready-to-print .png and .tif file
Been thinking about this image a lot today.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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fuck people who reblog posts which contradict each other. no! be explicitly clear
admire folks who reblog posts which contradict eachother. exactly! keep em guessing