Approaching one million deaths now.

so santa’s wife is home alone tomorrow?

i don’t believe in torture methods but i do believe jeff bezos should be forced to work in one of his amazon warehouses for the rest of his life and also in hell when he dies forever and ever and demons should poke and prod his shitty body if he stops for even one second

clap if you think he should suffer

the one experience that unites all 90s and early 2000s kids is experiencing at least one work of fiction with a deceptively adorable illustration of cute animals on the cover who live in societies with an established political system, hierarchy of leadership and culture and are driven from their homes by human activity and/or engage in violent conflicts with other animals in similar communities that lead to many of the characters’ brutal deaths, which are described in graphic detail and which left you briefly emotionally traumatized by being confronted with the concept of your own fragile mortality before you were 10

i think we need to abolish subscriptions. im tired of remembering passwords and giving out my email. check out as guest, no you may not know my name. die

staring at his tits while he mansplains

"what if he doesn't have tits" get out of there. save yourself.

“i’m in kind of a weird mental place right now” i say, as if there are times when i am not in a weird mental place

if you hate winter you havent found the right winter coat yet. a good winter coat will change everything

anyone who disagrees has the wrong coat, it’s very sad. but personally i have a nice coat and a little hat and nothing bothers me

me, with tears in my eyes: time to make a joke

the rush of validation i experience when the nurse looks at my arm and says “oh you have good veins” like yes my veins are so luscious and juicy stop or you’re gonna make my dick hard