dont be sugar gay dude

england have been stockpiling their excuses for days now hoping they can use them to bolster their little underdog story with how much they've overcome. me personally i hope their penises explode

Everyone say thank you sanitation workers we owe you our lives sanitation workers

''what if you regret it'' then you will expirience regret - a normal and unavoidable part of the human expirience.

The police pull my lifeless body from a lake but I’m wearing the funniest hat they’ve ever seen and they can’t stop laughing and keep dropping me back into the water

nice dick as always bro

it is so annoying being so self aware about all my issues like okay what now girl

the way i know theo raeken is gay gay homosexual Gay with a Capital G is cause he was hanging around with absolutely stunning gorgeous beautiful tracy for an entire season and did not try to pull any moves with her until he just. needed to kill her… okay gay boy. then jump to season six and he’s folding for liam like a damn lawn chair

(emerges 3 hours later covered in blood) i figured out what emotion i was feeling

wow,, you’re really messed up, huh? smash

hold on let me try to invent a version of myself who can get us out of this mess [holds really still for a minute and a half and then turns to you with a flat affect] we probably should have killed ourselves an hour ago

my teeth were perfectly designed to tear abd rend the soft white flesh of the gentle beast known as the mozzarella