Tory

Uh Oh: The Third Person Omniscient Narrator Of Your Life Just Started Repeating The Opening Paragraphs Verbatim

Orgasm denial. Orgasm anger. Orgasm bargaining. Orgasm depression. Orgasm acceptance.

Put your harpy girl in a harness, then attach a big rope to the harness, then take her to the park and fly her like a kite

☝️Probrlem

Whats the problem

also shoutout to my really tired old white guy gynecologist who when i said "i want a hysterectomy" did not push back at all and instead sighed, and without looking up at me from his tablet went "We'll have to do a bunch of stuff for insurance because it's a scam and otherwise they won't approve it" and then after laying out the plan walked me out and i dont know if we made eye contact once after shaking hands, which is exactly the kind of medical care i want in this day and age.

So can non-disabled people stop doing that thing where they act like it’s morally righteous to force yourself to work while you’re sick and assume taking sick days automatically equates to laziness. Any time now. That’d be great

The leader of the scout group I help out at approached me out of hours while I was walking to work to tell me that people have been talking behind my back because I missed more sessions than I attended this term (on account of having Covid twice) and was like “We all show up when we’re sick because we take responsibility” and I felt really shitty and guilty and cried the whole workday then I got home and told my mum and she was like “So they want you to throw up on the kids? That’s dodgy. They don’t even pay you. Stop going” and a wave of serenity hit me like a bus

Mr. Beast is such a fascinating public figure cause he's the only one who's willing to outright say stuff like how his success came at the cost of his joy and human passions but when you look him in the eyes it's clear that he doesn't consider this a bad thing

Actually I'm not sure you can detect any core beliefs or emotions or even the will to live on Mr. Beast's face, but that's exactly the point. He appears completely content with being a brand instead of a human being

huge fan of the depth of a good purple but another area that draws me is definitely around aquamarine/turquoise/seafoam. you can not go wrong once the green starts getting just a tinge more blue. a gal could certainly do worse than to pull over there and stay a while

THERE IS A BOAT BY IVAN AIVAZOVSKY!!

I like when fic length/book length/movie length is its own punchline

Reblog to come play this stupid homemade board game we're all making.

being moderately proficient with computers in the early 2010s was casting a hex on your family to call you sheldon

i got a big bang theory box set and a bazinga t shirt for christmas when i was 16

my dad wanted to get me a psych eval so i could say "im not crazy. my father had me tested." like sheldon did and after the psych eval they diagnosed me with paranoid schizophrenia

this could be the funniest thing that has happened to anyone ever. my condolences king

feminism never taught me to hate men but it did help me realize that i shouldn’t prioritize them over women & it turns out that alot of men consider that to be hatred lmao.

So if you were in a room with two prisoners; a man and a woman, you’d never met, and the gender neutral soldier with the big gun told you to kill one of them, you’d automatically shoot the man?

tag yourselves I’m the gender neutral soldier with the big gun

im the completely off the wall reaction to a fairly mundane post

Your soldier with a big gun looks gnc af

another graveyard banger

genuinely one of the saddest parts of this new era of the internet is how hard it is to rick roll someone now. with people's attention spans shortening so much, they wouldn't even get through the first few bait seconds before clicking off the video. like i saw a comment that ended with "btw i made all of this up" and the replies kept treating it so seriously because none of them finished the entire 4 sentence comment. and We're no strangers to love You know the rules and so do I (do I) A full commitment's what I'm thinking of You wouldn't get this from any other guy I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you