I want to start a fire in your heart tonight.

Your phone magically opens to a random fic on ao3!

oh, shane, you are dating someone!! this is great!! can we meet him? (no) can you tell us his name or what he does for a living? (no) can you tell us what city or even country he lives in? (no) can we see a picture? (no) does he have social media? (no) so.... shane, honey, it kind of sounds like you don't have a boyfriend (yes I do, he lives in… some other part of canada, you don't know him) and maybe you're just saying that because you're not ready to date, but honey, you should date! I have a list of men here, I have a plan to get you a boyfriend, I have the NDA forms right here, we'll get you a raya account… (no!!! mom, I do have someone already, I just can't tell you anything about him, ever)

Folks, for those of you who use Tumblr primarily from phones, stop everything you are doing right now and figure out how to turn off auto updates in the Tumblr app as soon as possible.

here's a photo of the daguerreotype in the shipwreck remains themselves, which I think is wonderful to see

after the latest Chalamet discourse, I'm curious:

something i haven’t seen anyone mention yet is shane ‘autism’ hollander keeps hiring people to help him be normal