君の人生はだれの物？

gonna take bug!john, put him in a terrarium and give him lots of enrichment

OMG THIS IS SO CUTE! I LOVE THIS BUG SO MUCH aljsdlfkjadjkfdsklf

ah shit I just got Infomercialed

I opened a kitchen cabinet and there was a big open bag of spaghetti inside, and a waterfall of spaghetti gushed out, continuing for a comedically long period of time while I, for some reason, desperately tried to catch individual noodles instead of blocking the bag so more didn't come out.

has this ever happened to you? there's gotta be a better way! [picture suddenly changes from black & white to full colour] introducing the spaghetti dam

In 2026, the chicest thing a gay actor can do is never explicitly come out as gay but also make it abundantly clear that he is. Coming out is too modern. Staying closeted is too old fashioned. But this method merges contemporary freedom with Old Hollywood glamour and allure, and it weeds out the dumbest people who truly don’t get it. I call it the Pascal Method.

Taylor Swift does this

no she doesn’t

You clearly don't go here or to queer history and signaling, or both, enough to have this conversation and I'm not going to explain it to you. You could have asked questions, you could have done even a modicum of research. You didn't and you made yourself look ignorant. Goodbye.

#I'm fucking crying#this is an instant classic#this is the next meme#i can't believe I'm here to see a baby copypasta nary two hours old#I can't#lol#i laughed way too hard#iconic

Behold! The printing titty!

I normally tag these posts “specific ass machines” after a minor meme that blew through Tumblr, but I was tempted to tag this one “specific boob machines”.

disappearing into the bathroom at the club only to reappear covered in decorative printing patterns followed by a 10ft lady wearing bowls as a bra