too much amazing stuff.

imagine getting fucked sooo good by a hot ass man after he begged for hole for two fucking years just to immediatly get ghosted for 6 months i would go nuclear i fear.

i can't stop thinking about ilya rozanov's niece. we see ilya is very good with kids - where else would he have learned that? in 2010 his niece looks about a year, maybe a year and a half old. she spends her childhood having fun uncle ilya play with her all summer, and then her grandfather dies and uncle ilya doesn't come home anymore and she's stuck with her shitty cop dad and his anger in uncle ilya's old apartment. but then when she's what 13? 14? uncle ilya gets outed as gay and marries his long time partner and maybe it starts to make sense to her - uncle ilya didn't leave, he got out. maybe she realizes that if he could do it, she can too. cut to 33 year old happily married shane hollander, who's thought about having kids but not seriously, hearing a knock on the door and opening it to see a 15 year old girl with ilya's dirty blonde curls standing on their stoop. later, watching her and ilya have an argument in russian he doesn't quite understand (he's learning, but they're talking too quickly for him to keep up - he can only really catch "alexei" and "not going back" and "asshole") shane sees her making familiar dramatic gestures and wild grins, sees tension leave ilya's shoulders that had been there since that final trip to moscow. and shane starts mentally remodelling their third bedroom they've never known what to do with, because clearly this girl isn't going to be leaving any time soon. not when she acts so much like ilya, and looks so much like the photos shane has seen of irina rozanova.

Shane after playing Never Have I Ever with the Centaurs, absolutely wasted (truly never been as drunk), "Ilya... am I... kinky?"

sexually inexperienced shane assuming he & ilya's incredibly romantic sex is probably totally normal and he's just particularly bad at handling hookups while an extremely sexually fluent ilya privately and repeatedly spirals over how Not Casual their sex is and how little control he has over it. poetry

And YES I know what I've said about Hollonov missionary but I stand by it. Crucially, missionary is Ilya's favorite position because he has a domesticity kink and he likes to stare into Shane's big wet eyes, it really does it for him. Shane's favorite position is elbows and knees edge of the bed because he likes to get FUCKED. They can gaze at each other afterwards my boy wants to get it IN.

how do you watch heated rivalry and have it not completely infect your brain your body your heart your soul your literally every waking thought

the people who blogged about it for 2 weeks then went back to normal i'm in awe of you. could genuinely never be me