They say I'll fail, but I disagree.

Ok, so in the original Bram Stoker novel, sunlight is not lethal to Dracula. He just loses most of his powers. I'm bringing this up cuz I want a horror comedy where the hero, sensing dawn, tears off the curtains as a last-ditch effort only to have the vampire go "Aw shit, there goes most of my fancy powers. Guess I'll have to beat your ass the old-fashioned way" then proceeds to just deck the hero cuz a vampire at half-strength is still a fucking vampire.

Last ten minutes of the movie is the vampire just beating the shit out of everyone to I'm Walkin On Sunshine. I would watch this.

This is my new favorite thing, ngl. 🍑✨🍑

“Generically medieval”, by which we mean our peerage is French, our castles are German, our weapons are Italian, and everybody speaks English.

you can have religion in one of 2 flavors: “woo hoo aesthetic garnish” and “Sinister State Control in Bad Allegory for Problems in Modern Christianity”

Also, the latter is aesthetically French Catholic, theologically German Protestant, and has the institutional structure of the Church of Scientology.

not to mention that this land is simultaneously inhabited by thinly modified northern vikings (Nordic pre-medieval/9th century), travelling mongols (European medieval/13th century) and a wealthy italian merchant family with a house full of oil paintings (Southern European renaissance/15th century). the dance of the day is waltz (refined German 18th century country dance).

But it will only actually be called inaccurate if an adaptation chooses to add a Black person.

I love this post so much I have done everything in my power to make sure I will never forget it via reblogging it every October 5th, in memory of discovering it for the first time

Nothing slapped my shit back into place like someone pointing out that the "genius gifted child with so much potential who got burnout and mental illness" is just the nerd equivalent to the jock "could have been a pro at sportsball if it wasn't for the injury".

stell dir vor du bist 44 aber dein Papa will dir das Kiffen verbieten

I think it's a shame that "Oedipus complex" refers to fucking your mom instead of the actual point of his story, fulfilling your destiny through your attempts to avoid it. It just so happens his destiny was to fuck his mom