This is my main blog, so I like and follow from here.
Rarely updated fandom side blogs:
training-with-drent, a sideblog for the Green Rider book series
derangedpracticality, a sideblog for the Lady Trent book series
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🇺🇦 Слава Україні 🇺🇦
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Conversely my brain is currently stuck on Heated Rivalry and I post about it here (always tagged).
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For your consideration: Former Montreal Captain Shane Hollander, now playing for Ottawa, who knows every one of his former teammates weaknesses. It was his job to know.
You know Shane's chirps of the Metros are SURGICAL. Especially because he says EXACTLY the same things he used to tell them in training / behind the scenes - even in the same encouraging tone, only now he looks st them like he used to look at their kids at BBQs when they'd show him their little crayon scribbles and he tacks on stuff like 'won't make a difference if you DO fix it, now that I'm gonna beat your ass either way, but it would be fun to have to try'.
Yes! You fucking get it. I like to think he doesn't get super personal, only technical. He could say something like, "damn if you were my dad I wouldn't talk to you either," but instead he just says *insert technical hockey stuff that would genuinely correct whatever the problem is* (I don't know shit about hockey). Or he's just straight up using it against them. Goalie is slow if something comes at him from the left? That's where Shane's shot are coming from every time. And he's told the team all the weaknesses, too.
The REAL reason the Metros target Shane every game now. If not, it's him telling them EXACTLY how he's going to score off them, doing EXACTLY what he said, and then remarking upon it. Every time. And he doesn't even have the decency to look like he's trying to humiliate them which is the worst part. The closest he comes is stuff like "Holy shit, AGAIN? It's like you're trying to give me points. You know I don't need them, right? You okay?" Total devastation. The kind of shit tou can't even complain to people about because it just makes you look worse.
“They asked me to tell you what it was like to be twenty and pregnant in 1950 and when you tell your boyfriend you’re pregnant, he tells you about a friend of his in the army whose girl told him she was pregnant, so he got all his buddies to come and say, “We all fucked her, so who knows who the father is?” And he laughs at the good joke…. What was it like, if you were planning to go to graduate school and get a degree and earn a living so you could support yourself and do the work you loved—what it was like to be a senior at Radcliffe and pregnant and if you bore this child, this child which the law demanded you bear and would then call “unlawful,” “illegitimate,” this child whose father denied it … What was it like? […] It’s like this: if I had dropped out of college, thrown away my education, depended on my parents … if I had done all that, which is what the anti-abortion people want me to have done, I would have borne a child for them, … the authorities, the theorists, the fundamentalists; I would have born a child for them, their child. But I would not have born my own first child, or second child, or third child. My children. The life of that fetus would have prevented, would have aborted, three other fetuses … the three wanted children, the three I had with my husband—whom, if I had not aborted the unwanted one, I would never have met … I would have been an “unwed mother” of a three-year-old in California, without work, with half an education, living off her parents…. But it is the children I have to come back to, my children Elisabeth, Caroline, Theodore, my joy, my pride, my loves. If I had not broken the law and aborted that life nobody wanted, they would have been aborted by a cruel, bigoted, and senseless law. They would never have been born. This thought I cannot bear. What was it like, in the Dark Ages when abortion was a crime, for the girl whose dad couldn’t borrow cash, as my dad could? What was it like for the girl who couldn’t even tell her dad, because he would go crazy with shame and rage? Who couldn’t tell her mother? Who had to go alone to that filthy room and put herself body and soul into the hands of a professional criminal? – because that is what every doctor who did an abortion was, whether he was an extortionist or an idealist. You know what it was like for her. You know and I know; that is why we are here. We are not going back to the Dark Ages. We are not going to let anybody in this country have that kind of power over any girl or woman. There are great powers, outside the government and in it, trying to legislate the return of darkness. We are not great powers. But we are the light. Nobody can put us out. May all of you shine very bright and steady, today and always.”
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It's so nice being on tumblr because you don't even have to make your own post but people would still follow you anyways if you're good at rebloging posts they like
Hi love! If you're still doing the choose violence ask game - how about number one? Any fandom of your choice :)
Hi! Belated, but yes!
And potentially niche answer, but John Twist. Jack Twist's father from Brokeback Mountain.
There's a tendency to paint him as just flatly a hateful asshole, and I understand how people get there, but that's such a gross oversimplification. I'm never gonna say John is actually a nice sweet guy, but like there's nuance to be had here.
(Uhhh cw for discussions of normalized violence against children to follow.)
We don't see a lot of John in canon--both the movie and the original novella, he's in one sequence (technically it's two scenes, but most people are gonna think of it as one scene and that's reasonable). And what we see of him, he's Not Nice.
In this sequence, Ennis has gone to visit Jack's parents after Jack's death to offer to take Jack's ashes and scatter them on Brokeback Mountain as Jack had expressed he wanted. John refuses, rebuffs Ennis, aaaaaand makes some comments that are basically an indirect but scathing "I know what you and Jack were."
He's undeniably a cantankerous asshole about it, so between that and the fact that earlier in the book Jack tells that John was unsupportive of Jack's rodeo career and Jack does recount having been beaten as a punishment by his father one time when he was a child, I definitely understand how people land at a place of "John is just all around terrible."
But.....there's some reading around what we're directly told that people aren't doing.
Go with me here. We know that Jack is "not yet twenty" in the summer of 1963, which is generally taken to mean he's 19. That would have Jack born in 1944 or '43, depending on what time of year his birthday is. To be the father of a child that age, John was most likely born in the 1920s--he's Greatest Generation. He lived through the Great Depression and WWII, and was probably a soldier in WWII.
There is not an American man who came through those moments of history untraumatized, and very very few of them ever dealt with that trauma.
Of fuckin' course John's an asshole. Of course he was a kinda shit father. He's screwed up. That's par for the course for a man of his time.
I've seen some portrayals of John as just a relentless and merciless abuser that I don't think are warranted. Honestly, if John were like that, I don't think Jack would be the kind of person we're shown him to be--I think he'd be more like Ennis.
Jack doesn't describe John as having beaten him regularly his whole life or anything like that, he cites one particular instance. And I'm not saying that's okay, the instance in question clearly had a lasting effect on Jack, but fucked up as we know it to be, corporal punishment--especially for boys--was extremely normalized at the time. The one instance Jack mentions probably wasn't the only time John hit him, it's just the time that stands out as when he went too far. For John, that would most likely have just been part of what he thought he was supposed to do as a father, disciplining his son. And probably a place where his own trauma leaked through. And that's horrible, but it lacks the malice I often see attributed to him.
Then, when we do see John in canon, yeah he refuses to let Ennis take Jack's ashes, but the man is grieving his only son, I think he can be excused for digging his heels in about having Jack interred in the family plot. That's the one bit of control he has left in the situation, the one way he can still keep Jack safe. If I were grieving a loved one and some stranger showed up uninvited wanting to take away their earthly remains, yeah I think I'd be kind of a jerk about it too.
But for as much as John is unpleasant to Ennis, he doesn't kick him out. He doesn't object at all to his wife, Jack's mother, inviting Ennis in, offering him cake and coffee, letting Ennis go upstairs alone to Jack's room, and take with him his and Jack's shirts he finds there. The one thing he actually roadblocks is Ennis taking Jack away.
John Twist is an easy scapegoat for Brokeback fans' negative feelings about the homophobia and toxic masculinity that permeate the world the story takes place in, but the John we're actually shown is not a monster. He's damaged.
you know I don't actually think many people know that shane hollander is always in the act of jumping out of his own skin with anxiety. like you look at the "your boy rozanov" and "I'm going to fuck him back" interactions and we as an audience can see that the guy is oozing fear but his actual facial expressions and voice is pretty flat and scott hunters reaction is only because he is scott hunter, gay jesus.
I think everyone on the team assumes shane is this bland unshakeable guy, team anchor. a lot of fan portrayals of shane locker room dynamics is an untethered boat or slightly distanced leader but I think shane's autism has that unflappable old-soul vibe that coaches like and other guys admire. I think he is acting like an untethered boat, but unfotunately the entire fleet is following him around. like really they just want him to sit in the corner and read a hockey book while they get shitfaced over a pool table. like hes #the guy. you just need him in the room.
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"who is more dangerous, edrehasivar zhas or csethiro zhasan" is actually a very easy question to get wrong. you might think edrehasivar is more dangerous, since he's unpredictable and unreadable, and wields near-absolute power—but his neutral affect can be misleading, and his movements are much more predictable when you realize he's just kind and afraid, and unwilling to use most of the more dubious powers of his office. so then it must be csethiro, with her ruthless efficiency and willingness to use violence. and yes, those things do make her very dangerous, but you can't overlook edrehasivar's abilities of perception and manipulation: more frightening still because they are subtle enough to be missed by most.
basically what i'm saying is they are both dangerous. and they will back each other up extremely effectively. while you were wondering who you needed to be afraid of they both got you absolutely pinned.
okay i'll admit i laughed when i looked at the tv tropes page for dragon age and under The Bad Kingdom they've listed like. every major country we visit
Why I Think the Throuple is Important (or, Redefining Sex, Love, and Intimacy with Preservation Alliance)
I have noticed that one of the most-complained about additions to the show is the Throuple. I’ve seen it called ‘cringe’ or ‘tacked on’ or ‘unnecessary’, but I actually think that it was a key part of show-don’t-tell storytelling to show us the different culture of Preservation Alliance, and how they relate to sex/love/intimacy in a different way to how the Western monocuture currently relates to those topics.
This has been something I’ve been thinking about for a bit, but it was also very much inspired by this post by @todaysgenderismurderbot which puts it really well and way more succinctly than I’m about to put it (because I do love to waffle on!).
We are introduced to the Throuple via MB’s narration, laying out that Arada wants Ratthi, Ratthi wants Pin-Lee, and Pin-Lee is sort of along for the ride. But we do need to remember that MB’s perspective and narration is limited, and it is very bad with emotions. So we’re supposed to read deeper into that relationship than just what it says. There is a lot more going on with them than those lines—suggesting an awkward love-triange in classic sitcom fashion—would suggest. The show uses the Throuple to deconstruct how the audience might look at such a thing, and by utilizing that particular term, the audience is set up with an expectation that can then be taken apart as we are gradually introduced to a different culture with a different perspective on love, sex, and intimacy.
We see the start of the relationship come in the form of the contract. I saw people not happy about this because this isn’t how polyamory is ‘supposed’ to go. The fandom has had a bit of an issue with assuming the worst-faith takes when it comes to the showrunners and the production, and I really saw it at play with this relationship. From the off, some people were convinced that by portraying PresAux as open and loving the show was ‘mocking’ them, when I perceived the show as loving them. MB is clearly wrong about them (as they are often wrong about it), but it slowly embraces them throughout the course of the show as they chip away at its cynicism simply by being themselves (and thus also chipping away at the cynicism of the audience too, because boy howdy are a lot of the audience deeply cynical). It doesn’t get all the way there by the end of the season. It still needs to find itself, but the love they instilled in it is growing.
So the audience has to learn about how love works on Preservation, don’t they? Since love in all its forms lies at the heart of their relationship to MB, the audience needs to see some of those forms. Preservation is a society where polyamory is completely normalized. We see this in Mensah’s casual mention of her marital partners, but we needed an onscreen example of how this could go, which also works as character-building for everyone involved. Thus, the throuple. Which, much like all of PresAux, is lovingly portrayed as flawed, emotionally open but still sometimes missing the point, loving beyond what many audience members are comfortable with, and so, SO human. They are all Cringe, and they are all free, and I want to be more like them.
Through them and how this throuple plays out, we learn more about Preservation, and honestly? It feels like such a healthier approach to sex, love, and intimacy than our own.
Let’s start by talking about the contract. It clearly delineates what is expected in the relationship, but is not a requisite for such relationships on Preservation (we are told this by Pin-Lee, as they think that their last addition didn’t work out because there was no contract). The contract is a bit of character-building for Pin-Lee, as we learn that they want it, and it makes them feel more comfortable existing within a well-defined legal framework. The society gives them the tools to build the relationship—contracts are non-necessary but sometimes useful part of relationships—but they need to implement them for their own comfort. Pin-Lee wants a contract, and the other two accept that. Arada is much more free-wheeling, I think, and wouldn’t necessarily want that framework on her own, but it makes her spouse happy, and so that’s fine.
But what Pin-Lee struggles with is that, even within a contractual framework, people are still people, and they are going to bring unpredictable elements. Ratthi brings a completely different dynamic into their relationship simply by being himself. That’s what Arada wants, and Pin-Lee accepts with their own stipulations. This is a couple trying to work through their individual needs, but, as we see throughout the course of the throuple, still needing to get better at open and honest communication.
We are told later in the season that the contract has a clear time delineation. This is not a marriage. Ratthi is likely being brought into their relationship for the duration of the survey, and that’s it. This is supposed to be a fun engagement with one another, bringing a new dimension to already-established relationships. And that, for me, totally reshaped how I was looking at sex, love, and Preservation.
The Western monoculture very much gears people toward seeing sex and love through an extremely narrow lens. You should be In Love when you have sex (casual sex Wrong and Immoral), and sex should be Deep and Meaningful only. And Love is for the long-term. For a single pair of heterosexual people to procreate through.
And through the throuple we see how effortlessly Preservation explodes all those limiting notions of what sex and love can be. Sex can be engaged in between colleagues on a long, boring survey for fun, because sex is fun and casual if you want it to be. With futuristic birth control readily accessible, one assumes, and without the power dynamics inherent in our own current work culture, why wouldn’t colleagues get to engage in casual sex? Why wouldn’t you pull in a friend into a sexual relationship if they’re into it? What is the boundary between the platonic and the romantic? Is there a need for a boundary? This will vary person to person, but the society creates a framework through which labels and boxes can be exploded.
Love is ever-present, but its form is changeable for the situation and the people involved. And that is partially why the throuple works as a way to explore the personalities, quirks, flaws, and natures of the three people involved in it.
Ratthi has a very refreshing, different relationship to sex and love than we usually see on television. He takes his relationships in all their myriad forms very seriously; they seem like the most important parts of his life and personality. He is defined by his relationships with others, and perceives himself best through them. He falls in love easily, but also lets those relationships go very easily. I honestly think there is no particular delineation for him between friendship, romance, sex, and casual intimacy. He loves his friends, he’s in love with his friends, he would happily have sex with any of his friends who would want him, and when a sexual or romantic component to a friendship no longer works out he lets that go without complaint. He moves along the continuum of platonic-romantic and sexual-sexless with incredible ease, because it’s all love to him. He is overbearing in his love because he feels it so intensely for everyone around him. Learning to regulate his expressions of that love is going to be a long-term character arc for him, I think, but the fact that he feels it so strongly and openly is so refreshing. The fact that he was raised in a culture where there was no shame around sex or love, so long as everyone is consenting and having a good time, shows how different and healthier someone can be about sex and love when given the space for it.
But the show doesn’t limit how someone can exist in a culture so open about sex and love, because Pin-Lee and Arada both have very different expressions of what they want and need from sex and love, while still existing within this clearly-established cultural framework. Arada and Ratthi share an unintentional, non-malicious sort of self-centeredness. They both assume that everyone around them feels and wants in similar manners to themselves. They are both incredibly generous, loving people. They give gifts and acts of physical affection easily and naturally, but both of them struggle a bit to read the room, which can make others uncomfortable.
Arada is a really interesting example of this, because she is a gift-giver. She repairs Bharadwaj’s clothes for her after the attack; she gives SecUnit an outfit. In a BTS comment it’s said that Arada embroidered everyone’s socks for them. I think that she embraces Pin-Lee’s offer of the Throuple out of that same spirit of earnest and open gift-giving. All of Arada’s gifts are given without reservation or ulterior motive, so she assumes the same about Pin-Lee. She doesn’t read Pin-Lee’s slight discomfort with bringing Ratthi in because she’s not looking for that. Pin-Lee is a people-pleaser far more than Arada properly understands. Arada is delightfully open about her desires and her needs, but it means that she sometimes steps all over her spouse’s wants and needs without meaning to. And Pin-Lee chronically doesn’t speak up about it. They’re so loud and abrasive as a lawyer that their wife doesn’t notice what they aren’t saying, how much they don’t speak up in their marriage. It’s an interesting dynamic to bring in for Pin-Lee because it goes against the shark-lawyer stereotype and gives them added dimension. There is lawer!Pin-Lee and spouse!Pin-Lee and those are very different people.
Everyone is given communication tools. They have Sweet-Bitter; they have We Can Talk About This. But being given the tools and actually using the tools are two very different things that all three of these people need to work on.
Their miscommunication is so lightly-done and refreshing, because it never explodes into genuine hurt feelings or resentment or possessiveness or all the other things you might expect to see in a throuple storyline on a television show. They try on intimacy, and have the cultural framework for a lovely casual relationship, but as much as they should Talk About This, it’s clear they don’t, or if they do they haven’t embraced the sort of honesty that would be necessary for it to really work. So it’s off from the beginning, each of them wanting something different out of it: Pin-Lee puts up and shuts up, Arada assumes everyone is on her same page, and Ratthi keeps butting in when he’s not wanted. Ratthi eventually realizes that he didn’t go in with the right headspace, wanting Pin-Lee more than Arada, and realizes it’s unfair on all of them, so he breaks it off. But they all wanted it done, having each come to the realization that it’s not bringing out the best in any of them. That’s where that culture of healthy relationships to sex and love and intimacy really pays off for them. It doesn’t mean their relationships always work out, but it does mean they’re given a framework to recognize what any relationship should do: bring out the best in everyone involved. And when it doesn’t, their culture gives them the framework to end that relationship in a clean, healthy way, because there are no hang-ups about a relationship having to be only one way to be valid, no shame or preciousness about sex that would make returning to a sexless relationship somehow ‘lesser’.
And hopefully, even when the relationship itself didn’t bring out the best in them, it still let them learn things about themselves that they can continue to explore next season. This casual, limited-time relationship may not have worked, but that doesn’t make it meaningless. Failure is not shameful. Failure is natural, and can be a tool for learning even more potent than success. And Preservation as a society also gives grace to failure, because it completely de-emphasizes competition. If there is no particular cultural glory attached to winning, people can fail and still be happy.
Sex and love and friendship are continuums through with the people of Preservation can move. They may still be limited by personality, by foibles and hangups, because existing in a better society doesn’t actually make people perfect. People are still people, and they carry their baggage with them. These three didn’t work out even on the short-term because they didn’t unpack that baggage, even having been given the tools to do so by their society. This is never an indictment of polyamory as a whole by the show (again, Mensah and her partners are RIGHT THERE), but rather an exploration of three people’s characters and their relationship with their society through the lens of a relationship. It is both character-building and world-building, which in a show with a limited runtime, does what everything in this show has to do: serves multiple purposes.
We learn that Preservation doesn’t share our hangups about casual sex through them. We learn that people are still people, even on a better world, and even with better tools for dealing with interpersonal conflict and miscommunication, they can still fail at it. But we also learn that failure is okay. Failure teaches you things and allows you to move into a better place. We learn that love on Preservation isn’t limited by the boxes that we might ascribe it, and that moving along all the myriad spectrums of love is precisely as difficult or easy as each individual personality makes it. Love can be platonic, can be romantic, can be both at the same time, can be neither and exist as something else without labels. There can be as many consenting people involved in that love as you want. It’s all good. It’s all cool, so long as it’s fulfilling and brings out the best in those involved.
And if it’s not fulfilling, if it’s not bringing out the best in you? Reconfigure it. Fashion it into something new and better suited to you the same as you refashion your clothing. Upcycle your relationships! Being culturally part of Preservation means that can be done without shame or recrimination. Just a movement to someplace better along the spectrum of love.
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I spent a long time thinking about what to paint for this year until I saw a photo of flagstones covered in chalk art of various rainbows. It made me realize that the path to equality and a better tomorrow is paved slowly, step by step, and with love.
