God's sleepiest creature

Be the Ent you seek in the world.

(When nature can’t fight back, we must fight on its behalf.)

A baby is never doing something to upset you. They don't act up to piss you off. They act in the only way they know how, and yes, sometimes the behaviour they're drawn to isn't great! That's why you guide them and comfort.

bad behaviour is awful as a concept

sure people can do bad things but im telling you now your child who grabbed another kids hair in frustration is not badly behaved. they are a child who does not know how to express frustration and lashed out.

teaching your kids that they behave badly in amyway, even just a little, i consider abusive. not listening to you is not bad behaviour. lashing out in syress is not bad behaviour. even just your kid acting like a little asshole purposefully is not bad behaviour because there will be a reason. kids are not bad.

my mum always called it "making a poor choice" you are not bad, you are not a bad child, you made a decision that wasn't nice. she then calmly explained why, how it made people feel, and would ask why you did it, how are you feeling? if you talk it out with your kids from day one and explain things you will have a lot less issues.

also your child or baby is "throwing a tantrum", "misbehaving" and crying for a reason. they also need autonomy. again ill bring up something my mum did. even if something was happening we didnt have a choice in she explained the situation, why we had no choice, and included us as much as she could so we were still a part of the decision and didn't feel as stressed. this included things like moving house. we got to look at the houses if we wanted, explore the area and be a part of deciding the house and how we decorated, if we could, because it was our house too. no one stressed about having to be in a new house nearly as much as we would have it we had no say in anything.

if you gotta bring them somewhere they dont want to go include them, if you cant then you can tell them "you can do this upset and make doing this harder for yourself and have a baf time, or we can do our best to have fun and get through this so you have a better time" im telling you this genuinely works better than you think, kids can be reasonable.

i think some of the issue is people dont allow kids these things, and just get mad, and then after a certain age expect kids to be able to handle their emotions in a stressful environment and tell the adult things. obviously they cant you havent taught them to or taught them that they could even try without being told they are badly behaving.

A baby is never doing something to upset you. They don't act up to piss you off. They act in the only way they know how, and yes, sometimes the behaviour they're drawn to isn't great! That's why you guide them and comfort.

A baby is never doing something to upset you. They don't act up to piss you off. They act in the only way they know how, and yes, sometimes the behaviour they're drawn to isn't great! That's why you guide them and comfort.

A baby is never doing something to upset you. They don't act up to piss you off. They act in the only way they know how, and yes, sometimes the behaviour they're drawn to isn't great! That's why you guide them and comfort.

I have to frame the noise as communication, because it is, or my nervous system will view it solely as a sensory trigger--which it is.

A baby is never doing something to upset you. They don't act up to piss you off. They act in the only way they know how, and yes, sometimes the behaviour they're drawn to isn't great! That's why you guide them and comfort.

while feeling hurt bc of something a kid does or says isn't something you can control, it's incredibly bad for you to yell at a kid. Just like. Don't do that. That's a kid. Wtf. Don't yell. Yelling at kids is abusive. It's mean and cruel and scary to yell at children.

It is never ever ever legitimate to lash out at any age of child EVER, as an adult. You are the adult. As an adult you have to speak calmly and kindly to every child, every time, no matter what. You can tell them something they did or said hurt you in some way, if that is true, but you can never, ever retaliate.

That is a baby. That is a baby. That is a baby. They are new here and you need to be gentle because they are smaller than you.

A baby is never doing something to upset you. They don't act up to piss you off. They act in the only way they know how, and yes, sometimes the behaviour they're drawn to isn't great! That's why you guide them and comfort.